When I see people happy

When I see people happy, it leaves a mark of resentment.

I can’t hide the disappointment.

They see me as a scorned woman.

Endless hours of trying, rotten,

Until there was nowhere to turn.

It left an imprint of a burn.

Every time I walk under the direct sun, I turn a little less into who I should become.

Every thirty-minute walk in hot August

Made me look into the cars of beautiful couples,

Locking lips. Or they will

Asked her about how her health is,

While I die of thirst, my body drained of every last sweat.

My every last fucking breath is taken with the hope that they forget the face of their beloved,

So that every day they wake up and feel an emptiness they can’t fulfill.

And they will never complain because they would never be able to explain what they miss.

I used to love the concept of being happy for them.

But just how long can one pretend?

Nothing good will come out of me rooting for them.

Just what prize would I be hoping to win?