Where is it?

I can't find him anywhere.

I start looking around the house without letting my mother know that something is wrong. I could ask him what happened to my father, but I don't want to ruin his mood, he hadn't been happy for a long time.

I approach the window overlooking the street and pull up the curtain, and I notice that my father's car is there, where he has parked it for three years now, in front of the tree overlooking the street and the driveway of our garden.

I step out of the window and head to the kitchen for breakfast.

Reluctantly I prepare a cup of milk with cereals, while I listen to my mother who talks to me with interest about the new course that she will have to present in a few weeks and that she is looking forward to preparing.

My brother and his friend, Steven, show up in the kitchen, and my brother doesn't notice my dad isn't home. I approach him and tell him.

He looks at me with a disinterested face and exclaims

I watch.

He moves away from me, he is visibly pissed, but I decide not to tell him anything.

During the afternoon I get an unexpected call, that of my friend, or rather, old friend Chloe. She was my best friend during elementary and middle school, and like any friendship, she ended with the arrival of high school. She made new friends, and I was the same girl who still had to socialize, while she made her group.

She asked me to join, and I agreed, her friends were clingy and older than me, and I didn't get along well with them.

After two exits, I left, and from there, I never heard her again.

I hear her voice from the other end of the phone, so familiar, but which I haven't heard for a very long time.

I interrupt her because I know it's not true.

She never found time for me after the new group's arrival, let alone now that we are barely friends.

She is frustrated by how she sighs on the other end of the phone, but she pulls herself together immediately.

I think about it for a few moments. I accept.

I have not the faintest idea why I accepted, despite what I think of her. She's happy. She tells me that at 5 pm she is waiting for me in front of the cafeteria. She then greets me with the nickname she gave me as a child, candy, and finally, she turns off the phone.

I hear the door slam, so I allow myself to peek from the stairs that opened the door, and I see two tall, massive shapes, and I sense that it is my brother and his Steven. She finally leaves. Mom is in the living room, tidying up documents.

Time flies, and I realize that I have done nothing, as I promised myself, regarding the programming of videos on youtube.

I open my MacBook and look at the inbox with little attention.

I focus on one, in particular, sent by email consisting of numbers only.

I decide to leave it alone and trash the email; it will be some idiot to scare me.

I've been looking at the ceiling for 1 hour, and a thousand thoughts are whirling in my mind. That stupid email somehow managed to create 800 more paranoia for me, who the heck can it be?

Even if there is more, that makes me feel worse.

My father hasn't shown up all day, I haven't dared check into their room, for the simple fear of finding him in a way that might make me sick. The last time I saw him in a sorry state was four months ago when he could not get out of bed for three days.

As soon as you entered the room from the bed, the smell that was there left you breathless, and my mother was unable to sleep with him, every night she slept on the sofa.

After three days of agonizing, he finally got out of that bed and went to take a shower, and my mother was so upset that she threw the sheets away.

I take this scene out of my mind and

I take my mobile phone in my hands and check the time: it is 2.40 pm. Reluctantly I get out of bed, take everything I need to wash and go to the bathroom.

I fill the bathtub with hot water; I need a nice warm bath. I melt the pink bath bomb they sent me thanks to collaboration, and immerse myself in the water. When my cold legs come into contact with hot water, I get goosebumps. I immerse myself in the tub and take my cell phone.

I unlock it and find several messages, including one from my father, he sent it to me 6 minutes ago.

"Hi Mel, how are you, your mom and your brother? I wanted to tell you that I will be out for quite a while, to set the record straight for myself. I know I've been wrong all these months, and staying away from everything maybe I can help me think and find the right way. Say hello to everyone and a big kiss. I love you so much."

Like a fool, I start to cry. My father abandoned us, or rather, "he is gone for a while".

What other man could do this!

My father, the man I should trust, is leaving us.

I throw my phone on the floor and let the water flow overlap the sound of my sobs.

After a few hours, I leave the bathroom and my brother, as soon as he hears the door open, sings in front of me and looks at me.

I look down and notice that his knuckles are broken, I instinctively take his hand, but he immediately pulls it back.

I look him in the eye.

He notices mine, red and puffy, then her cheeks, streaked with runny mascara.

He doesn't say anything anymore and hugs me. I needed it; I don't feel safe anywhere but in my brother's arms.

When I release myself from the embrace, I take courage and look my brother in the eye again.

I quickly head to the bathroom, recover the now almost broken phone, and manage to write Chloe to postpone the exit. I get dressed in the blink of an eye and hurry to the living room. When I see my mother's face, I don't know how to interpret it, I look into her eyes, and I am speechless.