Three.

November.

When the words had left my mouth and met Amelia's ears, I had felt my whole world ignite. My heart was pounding from my chest and I could feel the blood pumping through my body.

I knew I looked erratic, eyes darting all over the room, trying to find some sort of safe place. Somewhere to stare at, other than her eyes. Which were portraying so much heartbreak that I almost felt that it was her story. Her life that had come crumbling down in the space of 8 hours that fateful night.

It was terrible to think and I will hate myself for it forever, but in that moment, I truly wished it was. I wished it was anybody but me, anyone. I didn't care who, my brain was alight with venom, ready to spew. I envied women who hadn't felt the form of pain I had felt.

How could Amelia understand me? She didn't understand the pain I felt, still to this day, all over my body. The crawling bugs underneath my skin, the feel of his hands. Sliding all over my body like he owned it. Like it was his to take.

In that moment I wished for nothing but peace, a sense of homeliness, I felt like I didn't belong anywhere anymore. I felt broken.

"Ember, are you still with me?" her words were calm and gentle, meant to relax me. All they did was ignite the fire higher, I could feel it bellowing with me. Needing release.

I blinked at her blankly. Not having heard a word she had said since the word had slipped from my mouth. The sound of the clock ticking filled my ears and as I watched her mouth move I almost wanted to roll my eyes.

God what did she even want to say? That she was sorry?

It wasn't her that did this to me, so why apologise.

"Amelia I'm fine, stop blabbering okay? I'm alive, see" I gestured to my body, covered head to toe in fabric. A large sweatshirt was over my top half and sweatpants that I could tell weren't mine sat on my legs. I didn't have the energy to think about who clothed me, all I could think about was getting home and taking a shower. I needed to be clean.

Maybe then I would be happy.

"November listen to me" Her hands held my face and I was shocked that my body didn't flinch, as I met her eyes with my own I realised why. Amelia was staring at me, like she didn't think I was broken. She looked, proud?

"Amelia I just want to go home, I'm exha-"

"I know you're exhausted, I can see you Ember. But please, listen to me" I nodded slightly, her soft hands rubbing small circles over my cheeks. I knew the skin of my cheeks were rough against her hand, normally I would throw a fit over missing even one day of my skin-care routine, but I couldn't bring myself to care about anything in that moment.

"I think you are so strong, so unbelievably strong. We can't let this beat you, okay? You're worth so much more than this defeat. We can get you there, together. Are you willing to accept my help?" Her eyes scanned my face, taking in my broken features. My stomach fluttered at her words.

Me and Amelia had a complicated friendship. We had met on the cheerleading team in middle school, instantly became friends due to that one interest. From there we had formed a strong bond, that hadn't yet been broken but it was strained. Very strained, we were almost only friends because it was all we knew. Each other.

"Amelia I-" I hesitated. Putting this level of trust in someone was how I got where I was today, I wasn't sure I could handle another betrayal. Amelia wasn't trustworthy enough for me yet. Truthfully I had only told her what happened so she would leave me alone, I also needed to say it out loud. To hear it from my mouth. To accept it.

"November, I really want to help you. Okay?" Her eyes stayed on mine, brimming with empathy. I felt calm, staring into her eyes, allowing myself to be vulnerable to her.

"Yes, okay" I nodded softly and pulled away from her embrace, grabbing my bag as she spoke quietly to the nurse about my dispatch notes.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

My head was against the cold window of the passenger side in Amelia's car. Leant against it and staring out the window was bringing me a sense of joy. I could see everything pass in fast motion, reminding me that everything moves on. The world is always moving. I would move on, I would be okay.

I was glad I had told Amelia, the strength it took to do so had made me feel drained. A shell of a human being, but I was starting to slowly feel proud of myself. Glancing at her quickly I noticed the way she drove carefully, almost like she was afraid she would break my further if she jolted too hard round a corner.

Amelia was notorious for reckless driving, I was shocked she could even turn a corner like a normal human being.

"Who knew you could drive safely" the words left my mouth before I could register them, my voice was hoarse and dry when it met my eyes and that made me cringe. Thinking back, I don't remember speaking a sentence that long for the whole week. Other than the little explanation I gave Amelia of my traumatic experience, I hadn't spoke words for a long time.

A light laugh escaped her mouth and she turned to me, eyes ablaze with emotion. Scanning me head to toe, like she wanted to embed the image of me, joking around, into her brain forever.

"Promise me, you won't hate me for what I am about to do" her voice was light, almost like a whoosh of air as it registered through my brain and that was when my body processed that we had stopped driving. I glance out my window and I feel my heart shatter into a thousand tiny pieces, my stomach doing backflips in a row painfully.

"Amelia, no. I can't" I could hear the betrayal in my own voice, I couldn't believe she had bought me here.

"I promise you Ember, you'll thank me for this one day. You'll see" Her words come at me from a different angle and that was when I realised I had blanked out. A large portion of my journey from the car and towards the large building was lost to me. This was the first time this had happened to me, a lost moment.

I couldn't help but wish I had lost the memory of that night, been hit by a car on the way home and forgotten, lived without the memory of it repeating in my brain, over and over and over.

"Hello, yes, we'd like to report a crime please" Those words registered quickly through my head and I felt my body start to tingle, the room closing in on me as I stared into the eyes of the elder woman behind the counter.

She stared at me, scanned me head to toe slowly, she then met my eyes. Much like Amelia had done just hours earlier, she smiled sadly at me. As if she understand, as if she could see it all on my face.

Maybe she could, maybe she could read it all. The fear I felt, the sickness rising in my stomach, the memories on replay in my brain. A constant loop of screams, blood and bruises. Pictures I had taken with my mind, embedded within my brain.

A cloud of fog passed over my eyes and I felt my skin go cold, sticky with sweat. Amelia's hand gripped mine tightly as she spoke more words to the lady. We were then lead to a small room, I was thankful for the change of scenery, away from the eyes of the newcomers arriving through the door.

Amelia turned me to look at her and she held my face in her hands again, effectively calming me down. I could feel the pulse of her heart through her wrist that was pressed against my cheek and I felt my heartbeat naturally sync to hers.

"You can do this, I'm right here Ember" I nod slightly, letting her words wash over me.

"I'm not going anywhere, I'm here"