Four.

November.

I could sense the tension in the room, it hung thickly. I felt I could barely breathe, I had felt this way for the last 5 hours, as they ran tests and took photos of me but whenever I got overwhelmed I would feel a hand on me. Stroking calmly, reminding me I wasn't alone.

They had tried, many times. To take Amelia into another room, talk to me alone, like my answers would change if they did, but she had refused. Put up the fight of her life every single time and I had never appreciated the fire within her this much. In fact, I had never appreciated any single other human being as much as I Amelia in this moment.

"Are we done for the night? She needs to rest, look at her" Amelia's voice was harsh and I agreed with it. The questions they had asked me, they seemed like I was the one who had committed the crime. Like it was my fault this had happened, I felt like I was the one being questioned, trialled. I only hoped he would get the same treatment.

"We just have one more set of questions then you'll be free to go November, okay?" The mans eyes met mine and I flinched out of instinct, they were so brown. His voice was harsh, no softness at all. It was like he had already decided he wouldn't do anything about my case.

"Yes that's fine, but can we have a woman please? This is extremely unprofessional, do you not understand what she has been through?" Amelia's grip on me tightened, I could feel the anger radiating from her. I relaxed instantly, uncoiling from my protective stance. I felt comfortable, knowing that she seemed to understand me. See that I was frightened of this cold man in front of me, hurling questions whilst he sighed and took notes. Seeming uninterested in anything I was actually saying.

"You want a woman? To come in here and sugar-coat the truth? That your friend here, waited 10 days to report a crime that you claim has impacted her life greatly. All the evidence has conveniently faded or disappeared and she's telling us she's co-operated in consensual intercourse with the culprit before. She has admitted to being intoxicated, how would she remembered if she'd given him consent when she doesn't even remember what he was wearing?" His words hit me straight in the stomach, I felt my heart-rate pick up. He doesn't believe me. He doesn't believe me.

I look over at Amelia, she sits, studying the man in front of us and my thoughts turn dark.

Does she believe me?

"Sir, I believe your job is to take a victims statement. Not shame women for having sex with someone once and then deciding they do not wish to do it again. November has been through an extremely traumatic experience, which was done by someone with the same mindset as you" Her face turned cold as she stood from her chair, slamming her hands on the table and leaning over towards the policeman.

"So kindly, keep your pig-headed, sexist views to yourself and go find someone competent enough to do their job. You're done here" She points to the door, glaring the man down as he stands from his chair, scoffs and turns to walk out. Before doing so he turns back to us and grins at us widely.

"I know the culprit November, if I were you I'd drop the case. Theres many people who will see straight through your lies. You want the money? I'm sure he'd pay way more to continue getting whatever you gave him 10 days ago" His words sickened me, I leant on the edge of my knees. Breathing through my mouth as I felt the beginnings of a panic attack coming on.

"Some advice for you Mark. Lawyer up, because were taking you down with him" Amelia growled out, Mark's eyes widened and he opens his mouth to speak further but the door opens before he can. The woman from the front desk pops her head in and scans over my stance, half hanging off my chair, trying not to throw up. Her eyes flit to Amelia, who is now gripping the table harshly, stopping herself from hitting the stupid police officer. Her eyes then go to Mark, anger radiating off him in tsunami sized waves.

"What is going on in here Mark?" Her question was quite clearly for Mark, but Amelia took it upon herself to answer instead.

"This disgusting asshole" Her finger pointed at a guilty looking Mark. "Just accused my friend of lying, about rape. So kindly, if you could find us a police officer willing to take this case seriously, we'll be waiting."

The small red haired lady turned her eyes to Mark, I could feel the fire behind them. The anger, the cards were dealt in our favour in this moment and I felt the panic ease from my chest. As the lady escorted Mark from the room I stared blankly at the clock.

It had been 5 hours since we walked through the door of this building, 5 hours of repeating the same story over and over again. The memories were so clear, so clear that I felt I was re-living the night from hell. Amelia had said the word earlier and I felt my whole body freeze up, but it seemed to get easier each time I heard it.

"-leaflet, I think you should give them a call" I re-zoned into the world and managed to hear the last of Amelia's sentence, in her hand was a leaflet for sexual abuse victims. She obviously wanted me to go to some sort of meeting, talk about what had happened and meet people like me. Truthfully, in this moment, after all the events of this night, I couldn't think of anything worse. But staring at her hopeful eyes, I couldn't find it within myself to tell her I thought it was stupid.

So I took the leaflet, smiled at her thankfully and tucked it into my front pocket. Reminding myself to bin it once I was home and alone again.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Once another police officer had entered the room, the vibe changed completely. I felt comfortable talking about my experience, the lady on my case was the red haired woman, who's name I had since learned was Officer Hopkins. She was lovely, she reminded me of my mother.

Someone who would bake cookies for the new neighbours and take the dogs for a walk through the park every morning. Smiling at people as she passed, I liked to think of her as my saving grace. She wanted to do anything she could to help me, she told me that I should keep my trauma to myself right now. Telling Amelia was the right thing to do, to give myself a safe person on the campus of college.

Anyone else could jeopardise the investigation, as they could form their own opinions and falsify evidence. Even warn the culprit and they could then flee. So for now, we were sent home. With strict instructions to try and act like everything was okay to the outside world.

Amelia was going to stay with me, as we moved her small amount of things into the spare room of my flat I actually felt kind of.. normal?

We grabbed a bottle of wine from the fridge and sat, gossiped and watch romance movies. Well, they played in the background, whilst Amelia told me all about the newest love of her life, a guy who she had found on Instagram.

I felt relaxed, for the first time in 10 days. I felt like a full human being. As we bid each other goodnight and I climbed in to bed I felt hopeful. Hopeful that the investigation would go well, hopeful that I could live my life, hopeful that I would be okay.

Then the nightmares came and I was reminded that I would always be broken.