zigginah

Tear-stained cheeks, my mascara was now an ugly smudge after being ruined with all the crying I had been doing for the past hour. I could not recognize myself as I looked through the mirror. The more I stared at myself the more the tears. I could hear them in the next room. Their moans enraged me and made me feel like throwing up. I retched but nothing came out. 

Disgust is what I felt.


My life had turned out to be a chaotic mess and I wondered what I had done to deserve all that. I was a good person or so I believed.

I smiled through the pain and thought to myself that everything was going to be okay. I did not believe that myself but I had to tell myself to keep going or I would be stuck in a loop with my past trying to set myself free...

DAWN.

On my way home I wondered if what my therapists said was true. Was she just a friend or she meant more? But then if she meant more I couldn't keep her in my fucked up life.


I drove home and there was no one. I opened the front door and went straight to my room . The pictures on the wall still haunted me. His presence was lacking but he was gone. He was supposed to turn 21 tomorrow . If he would be here he'd throw a grand party. He was loved by many people. I don't know why everyone else continued with life like nothing had happened.  The mere fact that I was supposed to be in that car instead of him made me resent myself. It was supposed to be me not him.


26.Ghosts.