zigginah

Tear-stained cheeks, my mascara was now an ugly smudge after being ruined with all the crying I had been doing for the past hour. I could not recognize myself as I looked through the mirror. The more I stared at myself the more the tears. I could hear them in the next room. Their moans enraged me and made me feel like throwing up. I retched but nothing came out. 

Disgust is what I felt.


My life had turned out to be a chaotic mess and I wondered what I had done to deserve all that. I was a good person or so I believed.

I smiled through the pain and thought to myself that everything was going to be okay. I did not believe that myself but I had to tell myself to keep going or I would be stuck in a loop with my past trying to set myself free...

DAWN.

I knew how she felt. I knew the feeling too well and I was amazed how good she had handled it. It destroyed me.

I wanted to open my mouth and tell her I was sorry that I hoped she would heal and move in from that day. But the thing was that you never healed. The memory was scoured deep inside your brain and no matter what you did you would never get rid of it . It was like relieving it over and over again until you could literally remember how everything was from the window being half shut and the faint stain on the mat.

HAPPY PLACE