Chapter 6: How Could I Sleep at a Time like This?

I slowly raised my eyelids and could barely make out the cave ceiling I had become familiar with. I felt the soft black tail that I love draped over my body and intense heat resonating on my left side from an orange fire in the pit. Once my eyes had finally adjusted to the light, I could see Alfie hovering over me. His brows curved up, and a large smile stretched across his face. Tearfully he said "I'm so thankful you finally woke up! You had been asleep for an entire week. How are you feeling? Are you hungry? I've been trying to feed you as much as possible while you slept so the babies survived."

"A week? Are the babies ok?" I sat up to look at my stomach, but what I saw was what looked like someone else's. My stomach had grown to look like I was 4 months pregnant. I could see individual pups rolling around in my stomach and one large foot kicked. That must be my baby girl. I let out a long sigh of relief; my babies were ok.

"We don't have enough meat to survive the winter. We need to hunt much more before you give birth. We don't even have enough for us three to survive the winter, let alone the pups."

"Alfie… I just woke up from a full week of sleeping, please give me some good news before being negative."

"I'm so sorry, I just wanted to be honest with you. We stayed in the forest for 3 days to hunt and train Royce, and we hunted 900 pounds of meat. Royce can turn on demand and at least fight off a weak opponent if necessary. The pups are growing fine, a little behind since you weren't awake to feed yourself, but they will at least survive birth once you are full term. If my senses are correct, you have one female, and three males."

"Thank you, Alfie, that's all I wanted to hear. Does the village know I'm pregnant yet?"

"They could sense your pregnancy hours after fertilization. If you're asking if they know you're having a female, then yes. As I was carrying you back to the village, many males came out to greet you, when they got close enough, they could sense the female inside you. Some of them have been offering their hunts to feed the little female so in total we have stored 1,000 pounds of meat for winter."

"So, all we need is 500 pounds of meat to be able to survive with the pups through winter?"

"Yes, but winter is in less than a week, and you will give birth in two. It's dangerous, but I can hunt during winter if we need extra meat. As long as we have 200 more pounds, you will have enough to be able to feed the female."

"So, you want me to feed the female and abandon your three sons!?"

"Alyssa, that's not what I was trying to say. I was trying to say that the female is our first priority, so we need to focus on her first."

"You put these pups inside me, and you want to kill off three out of the four of them!? How could that thought even cross your mind? These are all your children, not just the female. If you aren't going to even try to provide for the other three, then I'm going on a hunt. Don't follow me! Stay here with Royce, and I'll be back before winter with the 500 pounds of meat we need for ALL of our unborn children." Before he could even respond, I went into my true form and flew out of the cave towards the woods. I knew he was going to worry about me while I was gone, but I just couldn't be near him right now. He was proposing to kill off three of my babies to save one. I understand that females are rare in this world, but I am not abandoning my baby boys; they matter too.

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I'm not sure how long I was flying, but I found a large empty cave on the top of a cliff. I dove down into the top entrance to find one large bed near the opening. This bed could fit at least 30 adults and have room for many children. It looked very worn and had a blanket of dust on top. The cave consisted of only the one large room furnished with just the bed. I took a mental note of the location of the cave and went out to hunt before dark settled in.

Instead of remaining in my true form and scaring off prey, I turned into a small white rabbit. As I was hopping around, I heard a large crunch behind me. Hoping it was a large prey, I turned around and saw exactly what I had hoped, a buffalo. We could probably get only about 100 pounds of meat from it, but it was better than nothing. I waited until the buffalo was only a few feet away from me. Once he was close enough, I jumped towards him and transformed into a large white wolf mid hop. I latched onto his neck and ripped his throat straight out of his body. I turned my head and spit the flesh to the side and the large body fell to the side. The buffalo struggled to take a few last breaths but passed quickly. I turned back into my true form and grabbed my prize in my claws. Flying was much more difficult with a large prey weighing me down, but it was getting dark, so I needed to fly quickly back to the cave.

When I arrived back at the cave, I set my prey down in the far corner and started to clean off a small circle on the dust covered bed while in my human form. Once I was satisfied, I started to lay down. Suddenly I felt a chilling breeze from the entrance that made my bones crack and my skin crawl. 'This must be why the cave was abandoned, this breeze is freezing.' I thought as I went into my wolf form with nice thick fur. I tried to lay down and get some sleep for another successful hunt tomorrow, but how could I sleep at a time like this? I need to get 400 more pounds of meat in a few days or we won't have enough food for all of the babies, the father of my unborn babies is proposing killing off 3 of them to save one, and I have to worry about intruders coming into our cave during the winter. This is no time to sleep.

I started to stand up to exit the cave when I felt an extreme pain in my stomach. 'No, I can't give birth now, Alfie said I still have two weeks left. I have only been pregnant for a week.' I thought to myself. This pregnancy is already going to be rapid compared to the nine months I was pregnant with Royce, one week being pregnant and having contractions is much too soon. 'I shouldn't have left Alfie to go out on my own.' I continued in my mind.

I heard a set of footsteps just outside the cave entrance. Hoping Alfie hadn't listened to me and came looking for me, I looked up and saw a pair of green eyes. Showing my teeth and growling, I snarled at the unfamiliar figure outside the cave. Unaffected by my efforts to scare them off, the figure jumped into the cave. Behind them was two more sets of green eyes and one set of red eyes. They followed the leader and jumped into the cave. Unable to move due to heavy contractions, all I could do was think and hope Alfie could hear me. 'Alfie, please tell me you can hear me. I am in an abandoned cave on a high cliff. Four men are here in their true forms and I am incapacitated with contractions. Please come find me.'

With the last of my strength, I turned into my true form and tried flying out of the cave. Right when I reached the top and had the forest in my sights, I was grabbed with 2 pairs of hands on each of my legs. There was no way I could fly with that much extra weight, so I came tumbling down and landed in the red-eyed man's arms. "You're not leaving us. A rare female, pregnant with another, without a mate, and you're a shifter, there is no way we are letting you go." The man said. I didn't recognize his voice, but he must be a doctor since he has red eyes.

Another contraction was coming to an end, so I took the opportunity to fight back. I went into a white lion form and jumped from the red-eyed man's arms, attacking a green-eyed wolf. I bit at his throat similar to when I killed the buffalo. I latched onto him and refused to release any pressure. Clenching my jaw even harder I ripped through his skin. Blood filled my mouth and started dripping onto the dust. Two sets of claws wrapped around my legs and pulled roughly. Another, bigger set, wrapped around my waist and squeezed strongly, blood ran from my hips all the way to my belly button. An instant rush of excruciating pain soared through my stomach. I screeched out in a deafening phoenix cry until I was finally released. I went into my true form and flew out of the cave as the men laid on the dust holding their ears.

As I was leaving the cave, I see Alfie running towards me with Doc in tow. I alter my course to straight towards them and fly into Alfie's arms as I transform into my normal, human, form. He squeezes me into his embrace, and I feel another wave of pain in my stomach. I scream and drop to the ground in the fetal position. As I plop onto the cold stone, the three remaining men jump out of the cave. Alfie looks at Doc, Doc looks at him, and they nod in sync. Alfie runs towards the red-eyed man and tackles him near the edge of the cliff. Doc takes on the two green-eyed men.

Unexpectedly, I hear soft wines from just in the forest. I use my bright white eyes to help me see into the darkness. There is a black lion cub huddled behind some bushes. I wave him over and hug him tight into my chest. With the last bit of my strength, I become a matching white lion and pick him up in my teeth. Carrying the small cub, I pull our weight into the forest and conceal ourselves as much as I can. Royce licks my face and wags his cute little tail, but I raise a finger to my mouth to signal for him to stay quiet.

Looking through the leaves and branches of the bush, I saw Alfie struggling with the red-eyed man. Alfie had the man on top of him and was just on the edge of the cliff; if he were to fall, he would definitely not survive. I clenched Royce closer to me as I watched Alfie bring his legs up under the man and kick him high into the air, and over the edge of the cliff. The man tried reaching for anything near him, but it was no use. As if in unison, Doc threw both of the green-eyed men over the cliff with ease.

Abruptly, Alfie turned to me and was at my side in moments. Doc came rushing over after him and they brought me into the cave once again with Royce following. In a rush of pain from being moved, I instinctively turned into a human and cried in pain. Sweat was starting to bead on my entire body. Doc closed his eyes and put his hand on my stomach; I could see in his face that something was wrong. "Is the female ok?" Alfie opened his mouth to ask. Doc stayed silent and continued looking; his face continued to show more and more concern each time his eyes move. "Doc are the babies going to be ok!?"

Doc slowly lifted his hand off my stomach and opened his eyes to look at me. My pain suddenly didn't matter anymore as I heard, "The males are gone. The female is alive, but badly injured and won't survive birth even if we cut you open to get her out. I looked at your reproductive organs and most of them look ok, but there is a chance you may not be able to get pregnant again from all of the trauma. I know you hate me, but please allow me to remove the bodies to allow yours to heal."

In an instant, a wave of emotionlessness doused my body. I am worthless once again. Maybe I never had any worth. I am a shifter, and I couldn't even protect my unborn babies. All I wanted to do was hunt for them. I wanted them all to survive. I left my protection because of stupid emotion. I shouldn't have left. My babies are dead because of me. I killed a rare female. Any of them could have been shifters like me. There hasn't been a shifter in 1000 years. I'm not worthy enough to be a shifter. Alfie deserves to be a shifter, I don't. I don't even deserve to breathe the same air as him. His was willing to risk everything to save me. He even teamed up with someone he hated just to save me. He rushed to my aid. He had dropped his alpha duties since the moment I had gotten here. He fought his own men just to be with me. Alfie has done everything in his power just to help me. I have been undeserving of his love. I don't deserve to be his true mate. I don't deserve to have a true mate at all. I wish we had never come to this world. I want to go back to my cruel world I grew up in. Take me back to a time before I was worthless. Maybe that time doesn't exist. Maybe I am meant to ruin everything that comes near me. Maybe I'm meant to have everyone I care about taken from me. I never want to feel emotions again. I want to become an empty shell of a human like I once was. This pain is too much for me to handle. I will forever carry the deaths of my children. These children were supposed to be the future. A new female was supposed to be born. I should have been happy with just having the female. I should have been grateful for Alfie offering to hunt during winter. I should have stayed home. These children will never be able to meet their father because of me. These children missed the chance to laugh. These children missed the chance to run. These children missed their chance to be held. These children missed the chance to grow. These children missed the chance to meet their brother. These children missed their chance to love. I put my babies in danger. I put Alfie in danger. I put Doc in danger. I put Royce in danger. I put myself in danger.