Chapter 8: I Need More Protection

I opened my eyes, excited to meet my little girl soon, but when I looked down, it was a different story. My stomach was completely flat, and I still had a fresh scab of healing skin where Doc had sliced me open. I looked around to find Alfie sitting with his face between his knees and his shoulders were jerking up and down as he silently cried. I looked over at Royce to see he was in the same position on the opposite side of the fire. My eyes wandered to the entrance of the cave and all I could see was a huge wooden door fastened together with vines and a wall of snow being stopped from entering the cave. "Alfie?..."

"Oh, you're up!" he said as he jerked his head from between his knees and whipped his tears.

He started to crawl towards me when I said, "What happened? I thought she was ok, why am I not pregnant anymore? I was supposed to give birth soon after waking up."

He instantly stopped in his tracks for a moment as he was processing everything I had just said. He slowly continued crawling over to me in unison with Royce and when they reached me, they both cuddled me. Alfie pulled me into his lap and Royce crawled into mine, "Alyssa, there is something called a 'greatest hope vision' that happens in my world quite a bit. A 'greatest hope vision' is when you go through something so traumatic that your mind cannot cope with the true events happening, so it creates a vision showing you what your greatest hope would be in that situation. When you have a 'greatest hope vision', your mate also sees this even though they are conscious, and you are not. When Doc cut you open, the pain was so great that you lost consciousness and you started having that vision. I know it seemed so real, but that is not what happened. We couldn't save the female when Doc opened you up, we did everything we could but the damage the intruders did was too much. I'm so sorry, Alyssa."

I couldn't even think after hearing what Alfie said. I felt like every bit of hope and happiness had been stripped from me for the rest of my life, but I know I can't let this effect the life I give to Royce and the rest of the village. I am their alpha's mate and a shifter, and I am supposed to lead them as well. I looked up from the spot I had been staring at on the ground and looked at Royce in my lap with his head snuggled into my chest and turned my head to look at Alfie, "I'm not going to lie and tell you that I am ok at all, because I'm not, but I have to raise Royce and give him the best life I can. I also am your mate and a shifter, so it is also my responsibility to help you lead this village to the best of my ability. I know I may sound cold for saying that, but I don't want to sit with my misery forever, I need to be able to move on and accept that this is something that happened, and I can't change it." Just hearing myself say that, I knew that I had grown up so much, even in the short time since finding myself in this amazing world.

"You are an amazing female and mother, and we will lead this village to be the best it can be, and I know Royce will lead this village one day after we are gone, and he will do an amazing job as well. In the spring there will be a large gathering of all the villages and towns and a way to gain females and males that will move to our village. With you and Royce by my side, we will certainly double in size at least."

"What kind of stuff happens at this gathering in the spring?"

"Well, it is mostly to show off the beauties in each town to be able to attract more unmated males and females with their mates, but since we have the first shifters in thousands of years, we will probably just introduce you and Royce to the rest of the world and celebrate the coming of two shifters. There may still be a beauty competition, but we don't have to participate unless you want to."

"I would rather not be shown off to the world just for my beauty and shifting abilities. I would love to be introduced to the world as the first shifter, but I would also like to be remembered and looked up to as a great leader and person as well."

"Of course, we will do that. The beauty competition is just customary in my world to show off that your village or town can produce and protect beautiful females, and with your figure and looks compared to the other females of this world, you could have definitely brought a lot of unmated males to our village."

"I get that, I just don't want unmated males to come to our village for me in hopes of mating with me. I am not going to have any other mates besides you."

"Well Alyssa, in my world a female doesn't just have one mate, especially one like you. I would love to be your only mate, but it is nearly impossible to protect a normal female, let alone a beautiful shifter female. You don't have to mate more than once with another male, just the once to allow them to enter the family, and you never have to again. You don't have to mate or procreate with anybody but me after that."

"Alfie, in my world, having more than one mate is weird. The only time I have ever had more than one mate was when I was in a bisexual throuple when I was 18."

"Bisexual? Throuple? I'm not sure the meaning of those words, what do you mean?"

"Oh, sorry. Bisexual means you like both males and females. A throuple is when you are in a relationship with two other people instead of just one. A bisexual throuple just means that I had a relationship with a male and a female together."

"So, you have mated with another female?"

"Yes, I have mated with two other females in my life."

"Well then that's perfect! I have heard about that type of relationship in this world before with two females. In spring when we have our gathering, we will find you a female that has other male mates and we will combine our two families into one! Then I won't have to worry about protecting you because your female mate will have other males to help me protect both of you."

"Wait, so you are saying you want to get a girlfriend together?"

"What is a girlfriend? Is that like another female mate in a throuple?" I nodded my head, "Then yes, I am saying we should get a girlfriend."

Just thinking about being in another relationship with another female gave me goosebumps and butterflies in my stomach. When I realized I was different and liked women as well as men, I knew it would be hard to find a relationship where I could have the feeling of having both. Whenever I was in a relationship with a man, I was always missing the emotions and passion from a woman. Whenever I was with a woman, I was always missing the masculinity and sense of security from a man. The only time I had ever felt both was when I was in a relationship with a man and a woman, the only problem was that they weren't the right people for me. I know Alfie thinks it is going to be easy to find a woman in spring, but I am not going to be just choosing the first one I see. Many of the females I have already seen in this world are not attractive to me, and don't seem like they have the personality that attracts me either. I don't think he realizes that I will have to get to know a few females to find the right one.

I understand that Alfie wants to protect me, but I'm also not sure if this will be the right choice for us. I don't want Royce to grow up thinking that type of relationship is normal or something to expect when he grows up as well. I also have to think about how this will look to the rest of the villagers. In my world there are a lot of people that think a polygamous relationship is not ok, and it is much more common there than it is here. I just hope we are making the right decision and not just jumping on it because he wants to protect me.