Open minds, shut eyes

It was a new day and a better me at the camp. I was quite delighted today and I eagerly picked up my pen to write in the book when I suddenly remembered a popular saying of my mother, "When all of these is over, it's the change that you bring that really counts, the joy that you bring to the hearts of others is your undying legacy". I tried to understand it beyond the mean understanding I had but I found it difficult to do so. I continued writing till noon, and became worried why I had not seen Ayo today.

I dropped the book and went around the camp in search of him, all to no avail. Burdened with worry, I looked up and saw what I hadn't seen since I had been there; a hill on which I saw a young boy. I wasn't sure who it was but I decided to go up and see. Lo and behold, I saw Ayo, he was reading a book. I moved closer to him to see the book and I saw that it was the Bible.

I asked him, "what are you reading in there?" he answered me saying, I'm not reading, I'm hearing God speak" , I was shocked at his reply and wondered how he came to know about this at this age of his. He then asked me how I unburdened myself from the world of chaos and pain and I found it hard to reply. After agitating, I said, "I unfold it into prayers", he said, "That's perfect! I am alone in the world but I'm with the hosts of heaven in the word of God". I sat down with the boy and we talked and prayed together before we left the place.

I pondered on his words till the end of the day, Ayo not only gave me a reason to smile but a reason to think and reflect on life from his perspective also. At dawn, I went up to the hill, I prayed and tried to arrange my thoughts to hear that voice, that tiny little voice speak to me. I heard the words, "make your life count". I tried to be sure if I wasn't saying this, and I wasn't. I was so delighted and also confused because I did not know how to. I decided to continue my writing on the hill and I did this till early noon. I saw Ayo on his way to the hill as I was descending and he said that he had been looking for me. We went to my place together where we played riddles with one another.

The bouncy gist of ours was brought to an abrupt end as soldiers came to every tent to take boys from 16 and above. We were told that it was for supplies. As we marched out, we were handed guns which were already loaded. All of us, the boys numbered about fifty-five and we were all given guns. While I was still confused, a general with fierce looking eyes approached us to tell us what we were up for. We were told that the terrorists already know about the camp and as such we had to defend it from their attacks. We were told to fight for our brothers, sisters, mothers and loved ones.

We were put in trucks and told not to talk too much. I still had not come round to realize that I was now a soldier, a young one forced due to war. I remembered at this moment that I didn't bid Ayo farewell; though, I didn't know that this was the reason for the call. At this juncture, I became confused as a result of what I heard this morning, "Make your life count", did it mean that my days were almost up? I still did not understand what it meant. We were taken to an abandoned building and taught the rudimentary skills of warfare. I saw fear and grief in the eyes of many boys but they could not resist it as a result of affection and responsibility for family.

After about 5 hours of rigorous training, we were taken back to our camps. I saw boys cry to tell their brothers bye. I saw women bless their children to pray for their safe return. I was moved to tears when a boy cried to tell his mother that he was going to miss her. I cried incessantly, remembering that I had lost my mother. At this moment, I thought to myself, what exactly was I fighting for? Was it family or for survival?

I now discovered that the word that I had heard this morning was the voice of my mother, telling me to make my life count. So it was not about anything else but the war; I tried to fight what I heard but I couldn't. I wept for as long as dusk, haven lost my mum and the fear of losing myself and most importantly, my dad losing my mother and I. It bruised my heart to know that I was going to see what war meant like, but I had no choice.

Before total darkness, I heard a boy crying and calling my name, "Uncle Tony", this whole time I didn't know that I was sitting on a broken glass. The moment I got up, I saw blood dripping from my laps and I did go in search of that voice as it sounded like Ayo's. I saw him from a distance and he halted and turned his back to see me. He hurriedly ran to my arms and he cried, saying, "Just take care of yourself, I will miss you". The sincerity in his shaky voice moved me and I replied him saying, "If at all I am to die, I will take time to see you again". He cried, we both cried and shared that moment of love between ourselves.

Towards dawn, I still could not sleep. I watched dry tears on Ayo's cheeks; he cried himself to tears as he could not been consoled. I was bothered, though I tried not to be disturbed. The fear of what was to come was what made me to fret. I had never seen battle with my eyes; I never held a gun until yesterday. The brutality and terror that was in a war was something I had wished not to ever see.