Chapter 1

"Levi, where's your dad?" my mom asked as she looked at me 

I bit my lower lip before I smiled and answered her.

"He's in his ofice mom ,he's kind of busy these days. They're having a big project" I answered her honestly, while adding some white lies in it.

I don't want to lie to my mom, but I don't have any other choice. I don't want to stress my mom even more.

"Can he just spare me some of his time? Ever since I've been here in the hospital, he had never visited me, even for once" she complained

I secretly cursed my father in my mind. He's a jerk, and I hate him for treating my mom like this.

"He did visit you mom, but every time he's here you're sleeping and he doesn't want to wake you up because he knows that you need rest." I defended him.

He  really  did never visited my mom here in the hospital. He said he's too busy, and he already paid a nurse to take care of my mom. I don't want to give her more stress, that's why I didn't tell her that dad doesn't want to see her.

Maybe he can't bare to see my mom in this situation. I repeatedly lie to myself.

My mom's been fighting against breast cancer for almost a year, and she's been here in the hospital for five months now.

"Levi, can you talk to your dad? I want to see him one last time before I go" she said weakly

I immediately hold her hand

"Shhhh mom, don't say that. You'll gonna be okay" I said, but I'm not really sure if I said that to comfort her or to comfort myself.

I can't lose my mom now. She's every thing to me, having the thought of her leaving, already gives me a thousand stabs in the heart.

"Son don't worry, I already accepted it. We can't fight God's plan" she said as she holds my cheek and smiled at me very sweetly.

"But mom, your my bestfriend, and I don't want to lose both my mom and my bestfriend" I said trying to fight back the tears

"We can't keep the person we love close to us forever. One day those person will have to leave us and we can't hold them. It's part of growing my dear" She said as her eyes were trying to comfort me.

But I don't want to grow mom, not without you. I can't find my strength to say those words to her. I don't want to stress her more. Dad is already giving her too much stress already. I had to be strong for my mom.

"Why don't you go home and rest, I also want to rest." I just nod as an answer.

I don't want to utter a word anymore, because I'm sure I will not be able to hold my sobs if I did open my mouth.

I went home with a heavy heart. I don't want to leave her yet, but I can't just bother her if she wants to be alone and rest.

I saw dads car in our garage, so it means that he's already home. I rush to his private office to talk to him about mom. I was just on his door when I heard some giggles. Someone's with him and I know it's a woman. I cursed at him in my mind.

I knock on the door three times. It took him a minute before he answered.

"Come in"

When I opened the door, I saw him sitting on his swivel chair and his secretary was on his right side. She had her back turned on me trying to compose herself.

I am not an eight year old boy, for me to not understand what's going on. She faced me and then she smiled at me, hoping that, her smile would make me want her to be my mom.

"Levi! What business brought you here?" she asked me sweetly

I help myself inside and went to my dad's desk. I immediately notice the engagement ring in his secretary's finger, and he no longer wears his wedding ring.

I clenched my fist as I was trying to calm myself. My good father is cheating with my mom. I thought that mom's illness would change him, and would make him want to be a good husband and a good father, but I am wrong. It became his cue to cheat on my mom even more. Hate is not even the properly addressed my feelings for him.

I put a Poker Face and looked at them with cold eyes. I have to be strong and fix this family for my mom.

"My business is my dad and my mom" I replied and looked at his table.

I noticed a wedding dress brochure and wedding hall designs. I bit my lower lip so hard that I thought I will make it bleed.

My dad's a total jerk. He's planning their wedding already, even if my mom's still alive.

I want to punch him and yell at him , but I can't. I still respect him as my father.

"Mom wants to see you" I said

"What else does she want? I'm busy making money for her medications and now she expects me to be with her 24/7?" he replied

You're busy planning for your wedding. I corected him in my mind.

"Can't you just see her for once?Ever since she's been there, I have never seen you there, not even your shadow" I said calmly yet I still can't hold my voice raising.

"Sweetheart, your dad's kind of busy right now. Can we not stress him evenmore?" his mistress said

I want to shut her up but I know that would mean that I am disrespecting my father.

"Go and check your mother not me" he said

I looked at them furiously. I want to beat him to death and I want to embarass his mistress for doing this to my mom.

I went to my moms room and get some of her stuff . I guess I will be sleeping with my mom tonight. I went back to the hospital. I am heart broken because I can't even convinced my father to visit mom. She will be disappointed again.

When I was almost at her room, I noticed that doctors and nurses are very busy and they seemed to be in a hurry. It took me a moment before I realize which room they're heading.

They're rushing on my moms room. I started to felt the fear and pain. I tried to calm myself even though my knees are trembling. My steps are geting bigger and my feet are geting faster. Please, not my mom.

As I reached her room, my heart dies upon seeing and hearing the scenario. A nurse covered my mom with white cloth and the doctor announces . .

"Time of death, 7:45pm"

Right at this moment, my world fell down into pieces. I can't feel my knees and I can't breath properly. I lean on the wall to find for support.

They saw me and the doctor just tap my shoulder and muttered "I'm sorry ". What would their sorry do?!

My heart is pounding as I approached my moms body slowly, hoping that I entered the wrong room and that, it is not her on the bed.

Please mom, you can't do this to me, not now. I'm not ready yet. With a trembling hands, I slowly lifted the white cloth. I fell down on the floor the moment that I saw my mothers pale face. My visions are already blury because of my own tears and I can't find my strength to stood up and look at my mothers face. I reached for her hand, I hold itt ight while I am still on the floor crying my eyes out. The pain was too over whelming that I think I could die because of it.

After an hour my father arrived, together with his secretary. I was holding my moms hand until they came because they need to take her. I don't want to let her hand go but I can't, I have to let her go.

A week after my mothers funeral, my bastard father officialy announced their wedding. I wish to punch him in the face and tell him that he's the worst person that I know but I didn't. I just kept my mouth shut, not saying any comment to what's happening around me. My mom's death was still too much for me to handle and now this.

"You have to accept this whether you like it or not!She's going to be your mother and you can't do anything about it!" My father said as he was so furious on me

"I only have one mom, and she can't replaced her no matter what she do" I replied back which made him slapped me hard.

I stood up and fix myself then glared at him, "I wish mom is watching you"

Then I went to my room holding a glass of beer on my hand. Then I sat on the balcony and looked at the sky.

"You're probably having a good time there mom, but me? I'm still lost and in pain. Dads going to marry his secretary and I have to go on with my life without you" then tears started to flood down my cheeks.

"I don't want to be here anymore mom. Take me with you" I said

I held my bottle high, and threw it on the ground, causing it to shatter into pieces .I picked up a broken glass and cut my own wrist.

"I'm coming mom"