Chapter 12

"Are you sure you're fine?" I was back to my senses when I heard Terence voice.

"Y-Yes, why?" I asked him as I returned to reading my book.

"You were staring blankly in the air." He said.

He's right, I really am staring blankly in the air. I am honestly lost right now. After Kai confessed, I don't know how to feel and how to react.

I've considered him as a friend now, and rejecting him feels like it's the wrong thing, but I don't want to gave him false hope. He's been good to me, much better than Terence. Actually he's the very first one that tried to understand me deeply, and I don't want to repay him, by hurting him.

"You can tell me anything, you know that." Terence said.

I just looked at him and his girlfriend. There's no way he'll understand this, but then I still need to vent it out. I don't want to go crazy again.

"You see, someone confessed to me." I started, which immediately got their attention.

"What's your answer?" he asked.

"Nothing.." I replied.

"What? You should gave her your answer. Don't left her guessing whether you like her or not" This time it was Jezelle, Terence girlfriend, who answered.

"B-But he's a guy. If he's only a girl, I would surely gave her what my answer was, but it's different." I said.

"I don't get you" she said as she scooped another bite of her meal. "Why are you even confused? Whether he's a guy or a girl, it still wouldn't matter. If you don't like him then reject him, if you like him, then accept him." She added.

She don't get it. It's not as easy as that.

"You don't understand, there are a lot of factors involved." I said quietly. "He's been good to me, and we're friends. I can't just go tell him I don't like him" I added.

"If you don't want to reject him because of that, then that's even more a cruel thing to do." Terence said while looking at me.

"What do you mean?" I asked

"Well, I'm sure he wouldn't want you to consider his feelings and end up giving him false hope. Don't you think that'll hurt him even more? " He said

Terence was right, but I just can't tell him that.

"You have a point" I said as I looked down, while fidgeting my fingers.

"You know what? I think you have feelings for that guy" Said Jezelle.

"W-What?! I'm definitely straight!" I said to her as I looked at her smiling face.

"Then why are you hesitating to reject him? Not unless you feel something for him too" she said.

Like him? No! I don't like him. I'm not gay. But then, why I can't just ignore him? I hate this! These questions are confusing me and giving me a headache.

"Hey, don't sweat it. You'll figure it out soon, so don't stress yourself over it" Terence said.

"Listen, you can only gave him your answer, once you've confirmed it. Take it slow, I'm sure you'll figure it out soon." She said.

I just gave them a smile before I excused myself.

I honestly don't know how should I confirm it, and what do I need to confirm.

I was walking in the parking lot when I realized that, I didn't brought my car with me today. It's like, I was expecting him to drive me home. I was about to turn away when a voice called me. I was honestly hoping that I can ignore him all day. I planned to ignore him, but he got the wrist first.

"Hey, I was calling you. You didn't heard me?" he asked. Now that I knew what he felt for me, being with him, feels a little bit weird.

"Y-Yeah, sorry" I just replied at him trying to avoid his eyes.

"Do you have any plans for the rest of the day?" he asked

"Nothing, why?" I said. As I was contemplating whether to pull my hands back.

"Want to come with me? I really wanted to hang out with you today, but I have work so I was thinking if maybe…" he said as we stopped in front of his car.

"I can come to your work?" I finished

"Yup, can you? You said you have nothing to do today right?" he asked.

"I don't know. I might be…"

"No you're definitely not going to annoy me there. I'm sure they'll be happy to see you there." He said that with full of enthusiasm in his eyes, so how can I say no to that?

"Fine" I said in defeat. He's so persistent.

When he said he has work, I didn't think that he's referring to a children's school. I can hear all the children's noise from the outside, and I'm quite sure it'll annoy me, since I hate being in a place with a lot of people, not to mention there's also kids running from everywhere.

"Uhm, are you bothered? I can send you home this instant." Kai said when he noticed me. I hate it! Why does this idiot always have to consider me?

"No, I'm fine" I said as I acted to be fine. I don't want him to take care of me, I feel like I might have something I need to pay him in the future.

He smiled at me, before he leads the way inside. As I expected, there a lot of kids inside. They're playing everywhere. The moment they noticed Kai, they immediately swarmed at him, trying to get a lift from him. Kai just happily picked them up one by one, as they gave him a hug.

I secretly smiled upon seeing him. I thought that he's kindness and sweetness in me was his best shot. I didn't think that he can be more sweeter than it.

They all started to asked him if they can gave him a quiz. I'm quite amaze by it, because they immediately asked for something to do, after they have all their hugs from him, and he willingly gave it to them.

I just sat at the corner and just watched them silently. There are some people who would looked at me and smiled, but they never approached me, which is a good thing. I was just there, watching him the whole time.

"I'm sorry if I just left you there at the corner." He said, while his eyes are on the road.

"It's fine, I actually enjoyed watching you and the kids. At least for a moment, my mind was busy with something else than negative thoughts." That was an honest statement. Watching them made me forget for a moment.

"I'm glad, maybe you can play with them next time." He said.

I just gave him a smile, before I unbuckled my seatbelt. We're already here, and I almost didn't noticed it. I was about to go out of the car when he held my hand.  I looked at him with confusion, but he just gave me a kiss on my forehead.

"Please don't think too much. I don't need your answers right now. I can wait." He said as he let go of me.

I didn't know what kind of answer I should gave him, so instead of answering I just smiled at him, and nod before I left his car.

He can wait? But I don't want him to wait for anything.