Chapter 11

I looked at the message flashed on my screen. I just close it and kept my phone on my pocket. It's been days ever since Kai brought me to the beach. After he said that, I just stood up and walk away leaving him with no answer. I've been ignoring him and avoiding all the places that we could possibly meet.

What was he thinking? Does he expect me to gave him an answer? Why the fuck would you asked another dude to share his life to him? It literally sounds like asking for a marriage.

"Did something happened between you and Kai?" I almost choked myself when Terence asked that.

"W-Why'd you ask?" I asked him back

"He's been bothering me this past few days you know. He's asking about you" He said

"And?"

"I told him that he should come at your place, if he wants to catch you" I immediately looked at him when he said that.

"What?! Why did you said that?" I asked him as I hurriedly shove my things inside my bag.

"He said that he needs to talk to you about serious matters, that's why I suggested that" he said.

Sometimes I asked myself, how did he became my friend? Is he an idiot or what? Isn't it obvious that I'm avoiding Kai? I'm having a headache because of him.

"Hey! Where are you going?"

I didn't even bother to looked back at him. I need to be at my unit before he does. I immediately went to the parking lot, and I unconsciously stood there, looking for something. When I realized what I was doing, I almost cursed at myself.

"Damn it!  Why are you even waiting for him Levi?" I murmured as I look for my car.

I was in a hurry for nothing. When I was at my unit, I saw him sitting on the floor, beside my door. I immediately looked away, the moment our eyes met.

"Levi" he said

"Why are you here?" I said as I look for my door keys.

"I need to talk to you, please?" he said.

But I still didn't gave him any glance, because I can't look at his face. If I do, I'll just remember how he cried and trembled in front of me, begging me not to hurt myself again. I can't breakdown my walls.

"There's nothing to talk about" I coldly replied

I flinched when he grabbed my wrist when I was about to open the door. Fuck it Kai! What is wrong with you.

"Stop it will you? What do you want?" I irritatingly said. I immediately reminded myself not to let him in, because if I do, I'll just gave him false hope.

"You! I want you! I want you to talk to me. I want you to listen to me." He said desperately.

I was dumbfounded. I never seen him so desperate like this before. I looked away. I hate how he can break my wall down. I don't know a guy can do that towards another guy.

"Please, don't ignore me after I confessed to you" he said as he held my hand.

 Fuck! I somehow thought he would say that he's joking that time. I immediately pulled him inside my unit.

"What is wrong with you?! How can you carelessly said that?" I blurted at him once we're inside.

"What? Those are really my confession to you. I really wanted to be part of your life" he said looking confused.

"Why would you even want that?!" He's making me even more confused.

"You still don't get it?" he asked me.

"Are you seriously asking me that? Of course I don't get it." I said as I massage my head.

I flinched when he stepped forward and held my waist. He lay his head on my shoulder and stay quiet for a few moments, which made me held my breath.

"I-I thought you knew it already" he whispered.

"If you want me to know something, tell me directly! I hate interpreting signals, I might not interpret it well." I said

He then raised his head and held my face closely. He's too close that I'm afraid to breath.

"W-What?" I asked as I gave him a confused look. He then smiled at me sweetly.

"If I know that this conversation would end to this, I should have prepared something special." He said,  then he smirked "I just realized that I want to show that I'm really serious, and I want to make you feel special" he added before he rubbed his nose on mine.

"What are you saying? Can you just tell it already? Stop beating the bush" He's making me feel both uncomfortable and comfortable. Being in his arms makes me feel comforted and safe.

He then held my face and looked at me tenderly, which made my heart skip a beat. Then he lean closer and gently placed his lips on mine. I honestly expect that to happen but, I'm confused as to why I didn't even tried to stop it.

He kissed me gently but passionately. The feeling was weird but I honestly didn't hate it. I pushed him lightly to break the kiss.

"You mean, you like me?" I asked. He smiled and shook his head.

"I mean, I love you" he confidently said.

"N-No! I know you don't mean that. I'm sure you're confusing pity and love" I said as I pulled myself away from him.

"What? Where did that came from?" he asked

"Because that's what it looks to me. I allow you to stay beside me, because I know that you need someone to be there for you too. That must be it. You saw me on the rooftop last time, and stopped me from killing myself. Maybe that's what it is to you." I said

"W-What? No, that's not it Levi" he replied

"It is it Kai. You felt like you needed to save and heal me because you took pity on me, but not love. You can't love another guy." I said, trying to reject the situation I'm in.

"Of course I can. I know what my feelings are, and I'm certain that I love you. I'm not feeling this because I pity you. I'm doing this because I love you" he said as he tries his best to convince me. "So if you pity me because you felt like I need someone too, then have pity on me and let me stay by your side for as long as I want." He added before he put a kiss on my forehead "And I'll make sure to give you my all" he said before he winked and left me.

He left me without hearing what my answer would be, though I know that I might gave him the answer that he wouldn't accept.

Now he left me even more confused, but I honestly don't know what am I confused about.