Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Dani-

‘I have been a Mommy, I am a Mommy, and I'm here to take care of you. I'll help you, get over everything you went through with your daddy, but I'm not trying to replace him. I'm just here to help you baby girl, ok? A Mommy or Daddy should love their baby, they should really know each other, you know?’

Mimi: ‘Oh.’

‘Don't be sad sweet girl. I care about you, you wouldn't be in my house otherwise. I'm saying you don't deserve to just be picked up and claimed. If you want someone to be your Mommy or Daddy, you should know them, well enough to want them.’

Mimi: ‘I want to belong.’

‘Well, for right now, you belong with me, not to me. I'm going to take care of you until you find out where you want to belong, ok? You're safe, and you can heal with me.’

She seemed confused.

‘Can you write a list of groceries, while I cook? Are you able?’

Mimi: ‘Yes Ma'am.’

‘Good then, let's go to the kitchen. I will cook and you will write.’

I carried her to the kitchen and sat her on a stool at the counter, kissing the top of her head before going to the refrigerator.

Mimi: ‘What happens, when my ankle is better?’

‘I guess you could walk instead of being carried, if you wanted.’

She seemed sad, and confused, but I started to prepare the food anyways.

‘Ok, first off we obviously been the stuff for banana pancakes.’

She would mumble as I called out items, but I didn't think anything of it.

‘I'll need milk, more eggs, syrup...’

I tried to think of what all I needed as I fixed our food, then delivered her plate in front of her.

‘Do you need help?’

I noticed how messy the list was.

Mimi: ‘Na-no Ma'am.’

She took the fork and I noticed a small tremor in her hand.

I took a picture of the list and texted my friend, briefly pleading for assistance.

‘Tell me what all is going on baby girl.’

Mimi: ‘Don't feel good.’

‘After you eat, if you really need a little bit of a pill, I will break one down.’

She nodded.

I took her fork and prepared a bite, then held it up to her lips, which turned a small smile.

She took a piece of my sausage and held it to my lips, grinning wider as I ate the food.

We continued feeding each other and she seemed to be happier, but feeling noticeably worse.

I tried to avoid the pill, but watching TV on the couch, it became clear that she was in withdrawal.

I carefully cut the pill into quarters, and gave her a small piece.

She didn't feel great still, but wasn't shaking as bad.

Around lunch there was a knock at the door.

The groceries were just sitting there, as I saw the familiar car drive away.

Mimi: ‘Can I help Dani?’

‘No no sweetie, I don't want you on that ankle.’

I gathered as many groceries as I could and took them to the kitchen before going back for a second trip.

After putting the groceries away I went back to the where she was clinging to a purple stuffed hippo.

‘How are you feeling angel?’

Mimi: ‘Icky.’

‘Icky?’

She nodded and moved into my lap.

Mimi: ‘Time for another pill, please Ma'am?’

‘No no sweet girl.’

To my surprise, she started kissing my neck.

‘What are you doing baby girl?’

Mimi: ‘There were never many girls I had to earn stuff from, but they said I did a good job once I figured out what I was doing.’

‘Whoa what?!’

Mimi: ‘Please, I can dance first if you like, you don't even have to kiss me, I can just...’

I held her gently by the shoulders and forced her to look at me.

She looked desperate.

‘I'm not saying no, because you have to do something to get a pill, I'm saying no because you're hooked on these damn pills. They are poison baby!’

Mimi: ‘But I need them!! I get you don't want me! You don't want to be my Mommy, you won't let me do anything, so why am I here Dani!?’

She didn't sound like the sweet girl I had been dealing with.

‘I want to help you!’

Mimi: ‘If you want to help me, give me a fucking pill!! I earned them, they're mine!!!’