I Need Help

(Damon's POV)

I watched as Kaydence peacefully slept. She was so tired that I was surprised she stayed up as long as she did. Scarlett slept alongside her in the bassinet next to the bed. As I looked at both of them all I could feel was guilt. They both were safe and healthy but if they hadn't I felt I had myself to blame. I was the one who had put so much stress onto Kaydence.

I let out a small sigh to myself. I left the hospital room and walked to the nurses station. The nurse who had been taking care of us looked up at me with a smile as I approached. "What can I do for you Mr. Tipton?"

"Can you take my daughter to the nursery so if she wakes up my wife can still rest?" I asked. "I have some business I need to go take care of so I'll be away for a moment."

"Sure." The nurse nodded. "I'll go get her right now."

"Thank you." I spoke once more before I turned and walked away.

I left the women's and children's portion and took the elevator to another floor. I headed towards the receptionist sitting at the desk. "How can I help you?" She asked as I made my way in front of her.

"Can you see if Dr. Henrie is in?" I referred to the doctor who had treated me while I was in the hospital.

"He is, do you have an appointment?" The receptionist questioned further.

"No I don't-" I started but before I could finish the doctor walked by and noticed me standing here.

"Mr. Tipton." Dr. Henrie spoke as he came to the desk. "What brings you here?"

"I was hoping that I could come and speak with you. It's kind of an urgent matter." I answered.

Dr. Henrie nodded. "I can make some time, come on back." He motioned to the door that would let me into the hallway for his office.

I opened the door and then followed behind him as he led the way. We got into his office and we both took a seat after he had shut the door. I felt uncomfortable sitting here. I didn't know what else to do at this point though. I couldn't go on the way I have been.

"So, what brings you here?" Dr. Henrie asked.

"My wife actually just had our daughter this morning." I answered.

"Well congratulations." Dr. Henrie shot me a smile.

"That's also kind of why I've come to see you." I took a deep breath as I fought the urge to leave the office. "I need help Dr. Henrie."

He nodded in response. The look on his face told me he wasn't surprised that I had come back to see him over this. "I figured with the outbursts you would. But I can't force help upon someone who doesn't think they need it."

"I said some things to my wife right before she went into labor, things I didn't mean and I know I shouldn't have said. I was just defensive." I explained. "I'm worried that if I don't get help that either I'm going to ruin the people I love as I ruin myself or my family will leave."

"That's understandable. I'm more than happy to help you Mr. Tipton." Dr. Henrie responded. "Why don't you tell me more about what's going on and then we can figure out the best treatment plan for you."

"I feel like I'm weak, someone tried to kill me and I let it happen. I can't help but feel pissed off when I look at myself in the mirror." I pushed my pride aside as I went into detail. "My first response to everything seems to be anger. It's like I act before I can think clearly."

"The shock of the event has altered your brain. Your flight or fight response is changed and it seems that you'd rather fight from the sounds of it. Your self esteem isn't what it was based on how you described seeing yourself now." Dr. Henrie went into detail exactly what he thought was going on with me. Correct me if I'm wrong but you probably are experiencing unpleasant emotions, probably also feeling like you won't get back to how you were before."

"Yes." I responded as I bowed my head with shame.

"These are the typical things of post traumatic stress disorder. And there is nothing wrong with getting help Mr. Tipton. I'm glad you've come to see me." He spoke. "I have an idea on treatment but I need you to be open about it."

I looked back up to the doctor. "What's your treatment plan?"

"I want to put you on medication that's going to help balance things out in your brain. Now it will help but if you want to get back to yourself all the way I recommend cognitive processing therapy." He paused as he waited for my reaction.

"Therapy?" I scoffed. "No thank you. Fuck that idea."

"There's that fight response." Dr. Henrie pointed out. "You need to remember what led you down here to my office. Your family, the longer you put this off the harder it's going to be."

I thought for a moment and let out a defeated sigh. "I know. What exactly does this therapy do?"

"It's a twelve week program of about ninety minute sessions. In the therapy you'll dive into the event and how exactly it has affected your life. The therapist will have you write in detail what exactly happened and what's been going on sense. It helps you really examine how you've been dealing with it and new ways to live with it." He explained.

"How effective is it?" I asked. I just wanted to feel normal again. I wanted to be a good husband and a good father.

"From research and my experience with patients it has helped a lot and they feel as they did before. Just with a new way of processing and thinking about things." He answered. "With your case Mr. Tipton I really feel like if we can get you going things can get better for you quickly."

I nodded in response. "Where do I sign up for it then?"

I had to do something. No matter how much I hated the idea of going and spewing my life problems to someone it had to be done. Sterling shouldn't have to feel like he needed to be careful around me. Kaydence shouldn't have to watch over me because she was worried. I wasn't going to let myself back out now. I needed to fix myself before I became a complete and total monster.

Dr. Henrie wrote out a prescription for me to start right away and got me a referral to a therapist he knew worked well with conditions like mine. After that I left his office and went on my way back to the women's and children's portion of the hospital. I opened the door of the room and Kaydence was wide awake, but she was pissed.