POV Bong-Chae

The water may freeze her, but she feels nothing. As if he wasn't really paying attention.

Looking around, she sees the others struggling in the water to keep from sinking. They flail about and end up grabbing lifebuoys.

Is it really worth it?

She doesn't know, she doesn't know anymore.

When did it all start, thought Bong-Chae, floating on the surface of the water.

She closed her eyes before remembering.

Flashback:

I was sitting on a bench, playing on my phone.

- Are you Ruby's friend? asked a girl as she approached me.

- Yes, why," I asked her on guard.

- I'm just curious why I never see her with you," she asked.

- It's none of your business," said an annoyed Bong-Chae.

- You're right," she said, "but if you want to hang out with us, you can.

- Why should I hang out with you," I said, staring at her.

- Maybe because we can offer you anything you want," she whispered in my ear.

- But Ruby already gives me everything I want," I said indifferently.

She pointed to a figure in the distance.

- But she didn't give you this, did she," she said in a soft voice.

-...

- I can get him interested in you, maybe you'll even end up getting married in the end, who knows," she said, laughing casually.

I hesitated, being loved by the one you love was so tempting. I sincerely believe that's how they got me.

I should have known that every promise that came true would have a price.

End of flashback.

I should have known:

- That my friends were not good company

- That I'd never have eternal love with my boyfriend because he didn't really love me

- and that in the end this was the retribution for all my bad deeds

And you know, Ruby, I wish I never had to tell you that I always knew you couldn't swim. And that I didn't say anything when they pushed you because I wanted you under my feet just once.

I open my eyes again and hear my little one calling me.

I know it's too late to go back and make things right.

So never mind, to the end I'll take the blame.

I swim until I'm in front of him.

- Here's a buoy," he says, handing it to me.

I take it and ask him something I shouldn't ask.

- I've been told I look like your little sister.

He says nothing, but I know my question hurts him.

- Yes, you do look like her," he finally says.

I give him a false smile that he doesn't notice.

I understand better why he never kissed me or even touched me.

Because I looked like his dead little sister.

- Go help the others, I'll manage

- Are you sure?

- I TOLD YOU TO GO HELP THEM!

He hesitated as if he wanted to say something but didn't dare. Then he finally leaves.

I'm sobbing like a little girl who's lost her most precious possession. Like a helpless little girl.

I love her.

I love him so much.

But he'll never love me the way I love him.