The Train

"What do you mean?"

"You should know, but why are you still pretending you don't understand?"

"I'm afraid of being misunderstood, because for three years we've been friends, this is the first time you've said such a thing," Sari said looking down.

"I'm sorry, but I have to say this at the last chance I have to be able to reveal your face."

***

"I've been waiting for you to say this since the beginning we've known each other, but I can't believe it's been almost three years of waiting," replied Sari.

"We can start now!" persuaded Hafiz.

Then Hafiz's hand tried to grab Sari's hand which had been on the table, he held the small and delicate hand.

"For the longer I am waiting, the more sure I am that you will never say this. I have prepared for today, I have prepared for the day of our farewell, I have already thought that after school is over, our friendship is also over," Sari explained.

"What? Why do you think so?" asked hafiz curiously. He didn't expect Sari to say something like this.

"Someone once told me that something must be done, because the nature of change is absolute and certain. So we can't avoid it, what we can do is prepare for the bad possibility of a change," replied Sari.

Sari let go of Hafiz's hand.

"But why?, you want it? Why are you lying to your own feelings?" Hafiz asked in a rising tone.

"I've misdefined feelings, sorry I didn't mean to hurt you,"

"But, why?" Hafiz tried to hear his voice.

"There's something you don't know about me," Sari raised her voice as her eyes filled with tears.

"Something like what?" Hafiz asked while trying to wipe Sari's cheeks which were starting to fill with tears.

Sari immediately brushed off Hafiz's hand, then stood up while picking up her bag which had been lying on the table.

"Sorry, I can't say this" Sari said with a forced expression.

Sari canteen table by running

"Hey, Sari wait!" Stop Hafiz

Hafiz then took his bag and tried to chase after sari. But before he could catch up, Hafiz found a piece of paper on his desk. The paper that seemed to contain a short note. He took the paper, then Hafiz continued to chase the running sari.

Sari kept running hoping not to be chased. But Hafiz did not give up on pursuing her. Hafiz ran in a lane that was actually busy, so that several times running to catch up was interrupted. Plus his view was blocked by other pedestrians. Naturally, the school had just disbanded. most of the pedestrians are students after school.

Sari was still trying to run as fast as she could, even though she was wearing a kebaya to hold back her wide steps. Also his high hills shoes that push the feet to hit the ground. He should have taken off his shoes to run faster, but somehow he didn't have to think about it.

Sari's path is different from Hafiz's, he prefers to run on the shoulder of the road, because the sidewalks are already quite crowded with pedestrians.

***

SURABAYA, 2019

Turi Market Station

"Available on line one of the Argo Bromo Anggrek Train to Gambir Jakarta Station. It will depart in fifteen minutes, passengers are requested to enter their respective carriages immediately, thank you."

The announcement of the information from the loudspeaker, which added to the bustle of the train station, did not attract the attention of a person who had been sitting on a chair on the station platform reading a Sherlock Holmes novel.

Headphones attached to the ear have been considered all sources of sound in the vicinity. The only sound he heard was the music from Ebiet G Ade's album Serenade which he played.

Actually he was waiting for the train to arrive, but he had his schedule ready, so there was no need to listen to the announcements from the station attendant. he checked only the Watch in his left hand to confirm the time.

The time showed at 08.15 am, the train was in sight. He rushed into the Business class carriage and immediately looked for a seat with the number that corresponded to the printed ticket.

After finding his seat, he immediately removed the backpack that had been attached to his back and then put it in the trunk located above the seat. Before sitting down, he took off his headphones and put them around his neck.

"Sorry, sir...! My seat by the window," said the man begging for permission before sitting down.

"Oh yes please..." replied the father invitingly.

"Thank you..," said the man who then passed him, then took a sitting position while taking off his jacket.

The train starting to running. In his heart, the man prayed for safety on his journey. Peace of mind that is rarely owned by others when they want to start a long journey.

The calm turned to restlessness when he found a piece of paper in his shirt pocket, he read the note on the paper

"I HAVE BEEN PREPARED FOR TODAY, I JUST WANT TO SAY farewell, THANK YOU FOR BEING MY FRIEND"

That's the content of the note. A note written by a high school girl whom he last saw 5 years ago. The girl named Sari is still the best memory in her life.

The young man sitting in the train carriage is Hafiz, a man who five years ago had confessed his love for Sari, his close friend. But the answer that was not as expected still left a very deep wound. Moreover, there is no clarity whatsoever in the answer.

It's not quite there yet, his anxiety is getting bigger because of the endless guilt. I can still imagine how Sari's body lay stiff in his lap. If only she had not chased at that time, Sari would not have run which caused her to have a terrible experience.

The terrible shadow was still there. Almost half of the body of the woman he loved was crushed by a speeding bus. His left hand and leg were crushed. Hafiz, who came late, held his head, hoping that Sari could still breathe and speak. But not a single breath escaped his nose, not even a final word to say. Sari immediately died on the spot.

Blood seemed to flood the streets at that time, her beautiful kebaya which was originally white, turned red. His high heels only left on the right, while the left was missing somewhere.

Even though the bus driver has already received his sentence, the one who is actually most guilty of Sari's death is himself. Until he had time to surrender himself to the police, but there was no strong reason for the court to ensnare him.

Depression made him unable to lead a normal life, so he decided to isolate himself in his own home with the assistance of his personal psychologist for four years.

Now his mental condition has improved a little, it's just that the memories and guilt are still there and haunt him. Right now he always carried that notepad with him everywhere, because that was the only memory he had left.

And again he became traumatized when he saw the Bus and promised himself never to take the Bus again, that's the reason why he chose to use the Train to travel long distances.

Daydream after daydream brought him to the shadows of the past, his eyes occasionally looked out of the train window which was still misty. The comfortable ride lulled him more and more until he didn't realize he was fast asleep.

"Mas, Wake up, Mas...." A middle-aged man sitting next to him woke Hafiz slowly.

"Mas, Wake up, we have arrived," continued the father as his hand gently shook Hafiz's shoulder.

Hafiz woke up looking at the watch in his left hand, then stood up to take the bag that was in the upper trunk.

Krincing...

"Sir, the money fell, not bad even though coins are also money." The gentlemen next to him who were also preparing to come down warned him again.

"Yes, sir, thank you..." Hafiz smiled at the father.

"I'll go first, sir." The Man said goodbye and then walked out of the train carriage.

"Yes, see you next time, sir...!" said Hafiz kindly. While then pick up the coins that fell.

Apparently this coin is not money, but a souvenir from his high school teacher. Actually, apart from Sari's note paper, the coin is the second thing she must carry everywhere. Because it is one of the attitudes to appreciate the best teacher.

***