CHAPTER 10

Warm.

My mouth felt warm.

The feeling was odd. Something was in my mouth. It felt familiar yet foreign at the same time. I slowly opened my eyes at the weird feeling and nearly jumped at the sight.

It was Zach. He was on me. It was his lips that were on mine and the warm thing inside was his tongue. My heart jumped at the feeling and sight but my body froze at what was happening.

Please tell me this is a dream.

My eyes were wide open while Zach's were slightly opened. Even though they weren't that open I could still see how serious his expression was. My tongue played with his and for some reason I didn't completely mind.

I pushed Zach off of me at the thought.

As I pushed him I felt his bare chest against my hand feeling it was still a little wet. Fresh drops of water fell off of his wet hair and onto me leaving me to feel the cool water. I looked at him and noticed that he was only wearing his jeans. I tried to speak but nothing would come out.

What was happening? Why was this happening? How did this happen?

I had so many questions and no answers for them. In my silence Zach leaned back in but this time I was able to react fast enough to stop him.

"Z-Zach, what are you-"

Before I could finish he overpowered me and kissed me again, the feeling rougher than last time. He pushed down on me, making me feel his body against the thin fabric of my tank top. I didn't let the feeling linger as I pushed him again, this time sliding back against the wall behind me, breathing heavily. Zach looked down, his hair covering his eyes, some drops falling.

"Zach what are you doing? This isn't like you."

"I love you."

I froze hearing those words not wanting what I heard to be what I heard. I had to have misheard that. I mean, he was kind of whispering.

He's drunk.

This is all that's happening. He must be half conscious and acting on his drunk motives. He did say earlier that he was horny. That's all this is.

"Zach, you're drunk. You don't mean it."

"I do. I love you. Always have."

"But what about Emma? Weren't you-"

"I never loved her. It was always you. I just went out with her in hopes to forget you."

"What?"

"I've always liked you, but you never seemed to think of me in that way. And after what you told me before high school, our contract, I knew for sure that I wouldn't have a chance with you. So I went on with how I'm supposed to be and went out with Emma. I hated it. But every time we were together, I loved it."

"Zach, I don't understand. You're just drunk."

I was mainly saying this for myself to believe it. He was just drunk. I mean, he had to be.

Zach sighed as he crawled closer to me.

"If words won't get to you then I guess my actions will have to."

He leaned back in as if to kiss me again. This time I had nowhere to go and just watched him lean into me. I felt his lips softly caress mine and I couldn't hold back the moan that escaped my lips since this was after my first time. That kiss from earlier was my first one, and frankly, I don't mind that it was him. But still...

He's drunk. This doesn't mean anything. But then, because of that, it doesn't matter if I give and let him do what he wants, right?

I felt his hand on my stomach and it slowly rose up.

When did that get there?

Too lost in thought I didn't realize how far he got to showing me how he felt. His hand got close to my breasts and stopped there as if he himself realized I didn't have a bra on. For him he didn't seem to react as much, only stopping as if waiting for me to consent. But me on the other hand was freaking out trying not to let him get any further. His kiss was deep though, his tongue going everywhere in my mouth and for a second kiss, it was too intense for me.

I couldn't do this any longer. My heart was practically going to explode at this rate.

I pushed against him trying to get him off once again. I succeeded after a minute or so and pushed him off of me. He groaned as I did but didn't take his time to come back up for more. I covered my mouth as he did and closed my eyes not wanting to watch this anymore.

When I did that he pulled on my ankles bringing me down from against the wall to flat on my bed. In the process of doing that my tank top slipped up exposing my bare stomach. My eyes grew wide as I watched Zach leaned down and kissed it softly.

My back arched a bit as he did that, the feeling ticklish yet pleasing at the same time. I did my best to hold back a moan that was threatening to come out, the hand over my mouth pressing against me.

Zach slowly slid his hands across my sides as he kissed up my stomach, his tongue leaving a little trial. My core was burning at the feeling and I honestly did want more.

But he was drunk. This didn't mean anything. And I was only saying that to help me.

I removed my hand for a second to try and call out but was interfered with a moan. I felt Zach smile against me, making heat rise even more to my face.

"Z-Zach... Nn... s-stop! Pl-please!"

He rose a little to look at me, sending a jolt to go through my body. His look was enticing and seductive making me only want more of him. But that was the goal with that look, wasn't it?

"Why should I stop when your body wants me to keep going?"

One of his hands grazed my breast and it was then I had too much. I completely had enough and pushed Zach off of me and my bed. He fell to the floor with a thud and groaned as he did while I sat back against the wall holding myself.

"Just, s-stop. You're drunk. Don't do this to me. You're with Emma. If you're that eager to have sex then go calling for her next time!"

I threw a pillow at him feeling hot tears run down my face.

Why was this affecting me so much? Was it because deep down, I cared for him too? Why am I even saying it that way? He doesn't love me. He's drunk. He has Emma.

"Why would I want her when I need you?"

I looked at Zach as he stayed on my floor, his hair covering his face.

"You're drunk."

He looked up at me angry now.

"Fine. Keep saying that to yourself if it makes you feel better. But what I said is true, drunk or not."

Zach got up and walked out of my room. I was frozen there not knowing what to do or say. Not long after I heard the front door open.

No, I can't let him go home. His mom will kill him when he comes home that late drunk.

I got up and walked out to the living room and watched as Zach started to walk out.

"Wait, Zach! Don't go!"

He stopped but didn't turn back to look at me.

"Why should I stay here any longer when you clearly don't want me here?"

"Just," I sighed seeing how dumb I was acting. "Just stay here until you're sober. Your mom will kill you if you go home like this."

He sighed and turned around to look at me. But his face was one full of sadness. Despite that he pulled out a small side smile.

"Fine. I'll crash on your couch. But in the morning I'm leaving. I wouldn't want to bother you any more than I already have."

He walked in and closed the door. I stayed where I was as he walked up to me. He raised his hand as if wanting to ruffle my hair but stopped mid action due to my flinching.

He put his hand back down and sighed.

"Sorry."

I felt more tears come.

Why? Just... why?

"I'm going to go to sleep," I said, looking to the side, rubbing my arms. "Don't come into my room."

"Don't worry. I'll leave in the morning."

I felt my heart sting as he said that. I felt like I had just ruined everything. I walked back to my room and sat in my bed holding myself. Everything happened so fast. I looked over and saw my phone had some messages.

They were from Ian.

Ian- 'how does tomorrow sound for our first date?'

Great. Just what I needed.

I put my phone on the small table by my bed and sat there.

I hate this.