CHAPTER 17

I slowly opened my eyes seeing light come through my window. I was immediately comforted with the smell of dark chocolate. I didn't move knowing he was most likely still asleep. I looked over to my desk where my phone was and sighed. Despite it being just the start of the day my head was already flooded with the memories of yesterday. T was either because I was in pain again from the beating I took or because I couldn't help but feel bad for what I said to Zach. I could still see the look in his eyes from my words and it made my heart sting.

I rolled around to now face Ian and I stared at his sleeping face. I couldn't believe I was letting this guy win me over. I mean, I had to remember what made me start dating him in the first place. He forced me into this and I had no choice but to do what he says or my life becomes a living hell.

Not that it isn't already.

Ian shifted a bit in bed and I felt as if he was starting to wake up. I quickly closed my eyes as if to act asleep. I heard him sigh and felt his hand that was wrapped around me slowly trail up my side lifting my tank top a bit. The feeling was electric, sending jolts down my body. I couldn;t help but wince a bit at the feeling as he went over my bruise. He then moved his hand up to my chin in response to hearing that.

"I know you're awake."

I opened one eye and looked at him. He smiled and kissed the top of my head before getting up. He got out of bed and pulled out his phone. I slowly sat up, my head hurting a bit, and looked at him before yawning.

"What are you doing?" I asked as I brushed my hair down a bit with my fingers.

"Going to get you some more aspirin. After that I have to go though. I don't need my parents getting mad I'm skipping school."

I looked at him for a bit trying to process what he said.

"Oh. Right, school."

He laughed a bit at my words and opened the door.

"I didn't think you'd want to go so I didn't suggest taking you with me."

I felt my head drop as I looked at my hands and started to fidget with them. I felt myself get anxious at the thought of going to school. I knew Emma still had it out for me and I just didn't want to take the risk of running into her or any of her friends.

Ian came back into the room with a glass of water and some pills and I took them greedily. I was definitely still in pain. Ian crouched down next to me and took a look at some of my scratches.

"I don't think you'll be left with any scars so that's a good thing."

I bit my lip a bit as he said that. I didn't care if I had scars. I was now just concerned with what I would tell my mom when she saw me like this. I'm sure she'll be coming home today or tomorrow. And knowing me I wouldn't want to go to school for the rest of the week so what could I make up for an excuse? I wasn't the brightest of the bunch. And there's no way I could just say I tripped or fell down the stairs.

Ian stood back and started to head out when he looked back at me.

"I love you."

I froze at his words and watched him give me a half smile before walking away. I stayed there in bed as I listened to his car start and drive away.

He said it. And it didn't make me feel loved. If anything it scared me because in the end that just shows how much he wants me. I had already seen some of the things he'd do to have me so what could possibly happen now that he loves me?

I shook my head and got out of bed. I got over to my desk and grabbed my phone as I turned on my computer. I looked through my notifications and saw some texts from Zach. They were random mumbles that I assumed meant he was drunk. I scoffed and put my phone down not wanting to deal with that. I didn't want to text him too much. It would only make him want to be with me even more and that can't happen. Not with Ian in control here.

I put on my headphones and started blasting some music so I could distance myself from the world. I started a random game and fully emerged not wanting to be a part of anything.

***

As I sat in my room on my computer I felt a thud and slowly took off my headphones. I looked over to my door and sat still until I heard a familiar voice.

"Jessica! I'm home!"

I quickly looked over to my phone and saw that it was almost 5 pm. I quickly got up and looked frantically for a sweatshirt I could put on me to cover most of my body. I paced around for a bit thinking about how I still had some scratches and maybe even a bruise on my face. Plus there was my nose that was definitely missing a piercing.

"Jessica?" I heard my mom call out for me again and cursed under my breath.

"I'm here!" I yelled out trying my best to think of what to do.

"Well, I would like to give my daughter a hug since I've been gone for a while. You're not in the middle of a game or anything right?"

I stopped pacing and just stood there to think for a second.

"I can't mom! I got sick and I'd hate for you to catch it, you know?"

I waited for a response. It was silent for too long. I prayed she wouldn't come to my room and actually check up on me.

"Alright. Let me know if you need anything."

I let go of some air I was holding and fell onto my bed. I couldn't face my mom like this. She would ask way too many questions and I wasn't ready for that. Hell, I wasn't ready to face anything at the moment. I was still trying to process the past couple weeks.

I listened to the usual rustle of my mom coming home. The thing that sucked is I knew she had some days off now with how much she's been out and I couldn't just hide forever no matter how "sick" I was. I would have to confront her sooner or later.

I looked over at my window seeing that it was already getting dark out. The day went by really fast. With it being winter the days were much shorter. Christmas was coming. And then New Years. And soon I will graduate. I wasn't ready for that. I wasn't ready for anything. I just want to see what happens. I won't make any big decisions until I have to. I'll just let my gut take me where it wants to. What was I so worried about anyway? Things were already heading for the worse.

I sighed and rolled over onto my other side.I curled up into a ball and closed my eyes. I wanted to sleep past all of this. That or just make time stop. I wanted this to all just be a dream. A really long and bad dream. Because in the end that's a;; this really felt like in the end.

A dream and a nightmare.