CHAPTER 21

I woke up to the sound of knocking on my door. I slowly got up and walked out of my room and to the front door still half asleep. I opened the door only to see Zach in front of me.

"What are you doing here?"

"I said we needed to talk, didn't I?"

I looked at him like he was stupid.

"You don't remember? Your little boyfriend interrupted us."

I folded my arms and looked at him.

"Yeah well we weren't really talking, were we?"

Zach rolled his eyes and pushed through me into the house. I scoffed and closed the door, turning around to face him again.

"What's your fucking deal?" I asked, looking at him pace a bit in the living room.

"What's my deal? What's up with you? You don't tell me things anymore. And now you're with some guy and you got beat up? What the fuck?"

"Maybe if you weren't so focused on yourself I would actually talk to you."

He looked at me and laughed a little.

"Jessica, you're the one being selfish. You have been avoiding me and just leaving me behind. All for what? Because I told you how I felt?"

"Zach…"

"No! Let me finish. I don't know exactly how you feel but I know you like me too. It's so fucking obvious. But you won't admit it. Why, I don't know. But I sure as hell would!"

I opened my mouth but closed it. He was right. I was being a bit selfish. But I had my reasons. I couldn't tell him the shit happening. I couldn't tell him about Ian or his psycho girlfriend. I couldn't tell him that I had just realized that I liked him and wanted to be with him. I couldn't tell him anything.

"Jess, you used to tell me everything. What happened."

Ian happened. Everything happened.

"Zach…"

"Just tell me you love me. Just tell me something. It hurts what you're doing to me."

I wanted to cry but I couldn't. I had been crying so much that I had no tears left to give. So without thinking I ran up to him and crashed into his chest. I clinged tightly to his shirt hiding my face from him.

"Hey, hey… What's wrong?"

"I can't Zach. I can't tell you. I don't want you to get hurt."

He slowly wrapped his arms around me with the sounds of my words. I felt him breathe in and out, the slow rise and fall almost comforting. I want to stay like this forever. I would be happy with that.

He rubbed my back a bit as if to comfort me more. He then rested his chin on top of my head.

"I'm sorry for pushing things."

The sound of his voice against his chest made my heart sting. I hated every bit of it. I wanted so much and yet I couldn't have it. I was stuck. Just stuck.

There was a bit of silence before I spoke up wanting to change the subject.

"My brother texted me today."

Zach seemed to have jumped at this news. He pulled me away from him and looked at me with that stupid smile on his face.

"You serious? That's great! How is he? Is he ever gonna come back?"

I shook my head.

"No, I don't think so. We called and he said the same thing as last time we talked. That he could never be forgiven."

"That's bullshit! Jess, tell him that what happened happened and that he is always welcomed to come back! I know your mom wants him back."

"I don't know. After we called I couldn't help but think of that night. I don't know what to think or feel right now," I said, walking out of his hold.

Zach dropped at my words. He looked as if he was starting to feel what I felt.

"Oh. Do you still feel like it's your fault?"

"I don't feel like it's my fault, I know it's my fault."

"Jessica not this again. He said it himself that it wasn't your fault, right? And he doesn't hate you. Hell, he talked to you today! You're fine."

"I just wish it felt like that. I can't help but still feel bad."

Zach put a hand on my shoulder and I looked at him. His smile was comforting and reassuring.

"I get that. But the past is in the past. Move forward. I'm sure he wouldn't want this to be weighing you down so much."

I sighed and looked away. He doesn't know how I feel. I get he wants to help but he just doesn't understand.

"Yeah, yeah. I get what you mean."

There was a bit of silence before Zach continued.

"Now I hate to ruin this moment but about what happened earlier at school..."

My heart dropped. Right. That. I forgot about that to be honest.

Zach looked me right in the eyes. The serious look on his face made me stiff.

"Before I say anything I'm going to let you explain things first."

I was at a loss for words. Worst timing ever brain. I tried to think of an excuse or even a way to explain things but nothing came to mind. Should I just be honest? No that would hurt him and that's the last thing I want to do.

I sighed.

"Ian and I are," I took a second before continuing, biting my lip as if to think about what my next words would be. "We're dating."

There was another moment of silence.

"Fine." Zach walked over to the front door. I followed him, not sure if he was ok with what I said or not.

He put a hand to the doorknob before pausing. He turned around facing me with a confident smirk on. He put an arm around my waste before swooping down and kissing me. Shocked I stumbled back. He laughed a little before opening the door.

"I'll be back Jessica. And I promise you'll fall for me."

And just like that he was gone. Still confused with what just happened I gently touched my lips still feeling his warmth on them.

What just happened?