CHAPTER 20

I stared at my mom, shocked at myself. She looked more shocked than me. Disappointment played on her face along with bits of anger.

"What did you say?"

It slipped out. I didn't mean to say that. I just got so angry. I lowered my head so I wasn't looking at my mother anymore.

"He just gets high in his room all day."

My voice was quiet, nearly over a whisper. I can't believe I just told my brother's secret to my mom. I didn't mean to. It just slipped out.

"And what do you mean by that?"

"He smokes weed in his room." I hesitated to say anything more.

"And?" My mom was good at pushing things out of me.

"He's been vaping too."

I could tell my mom was disappointed and even a little angry.

"How do you know this?"

"He tells me. And he's done it around me. He likes to hang out with me when he's high. He'll come into my room and just lay on my bed. He likes the way my bed feels since it is softer than his. And he likes my blanket since it's so fluffy. His words, not mine."

Shut up, shut up, shut up! This is not the time to be talkative!

"This is very interesting. We'll have to see what your father thinks of this."

My eyes went wide.

"No! You can't tell dad!"

"Your father needs to know. Now if you'll excuse me, he and I need to discuss some things."

I was left there in the hallway dumbfounded. I couldn't think or move. What did I just do? I hope nothing bad happens. It was an accident anyway.

Micheal isn't here right now. He's at a friend's house. He'll probably be gone all day. But still, he's got to come home. Should I text him to warn him? No. Then he'll know I told them and he'll hate me for that.

I didn't mean to do this. I didn't mean to. He trusted me with this secret and I just threw his trust under the bus. I feel awful.

I walked to my room and sat on my bed when I started to hear footsteps toward Micheal's room. Next thing I knew there was a lot of noise going on. Bags shuffling and stuff being thrown out. Curious, I opened my door and saw Dad packing up all of Micheal's stuff into trash bags.

When he noticed me he locked eyes with me and stopped.

"You sure about this."

"Y-yessir. Just a few days ago he bought a new vape for ten bucks."

He nodded his head and went back to packing up his stuff. I looked at my mom and wanted to ask her what dad was going to do but stopped myself. I closed my door and slid down it feeling terrible for what I'd just done.

***

It was 9 p.m. Michael had just come home. We were all looking at him from the living room. Feeling awkward he sat down and looked at dad.

"It's come to our attention that you... have been doing drugs."

Michael's head dropped. I kept looking down after that not wanting to meet his eyes or any of my parents. I just wanted to get this over with.

My dad kept talking to my brother asking him questions to confirm things I told him. My brother was still lying here and there. My dad would sigh and rub his temples, clearly losing his temper. Still he kept his cool and continued to ask questions. He then went on to give his parent speech on why doing drugs is wrong.

"You and I just have a different opinion on one little plant."

I looked up after hearing my brother say that.

"It's not the plant that bothers me. It could help so many people if it became legal here. But it's not. It's illegal."

"I didn't think it would bother you so much."

"It puts my job on the line. I have a strict code to follow in the army and that includes following the law."

My dad was starting to lose his temper.

"Why didn't you tell me that?"

"Why didn't I tell you that? Why didn't I tell you that?! You follow the law! It's there for a reason! I shouldn't have to tell you to follow the law! As my son I expected better."

I started to cry. I couldn't take any more. This was my fault. If I hadn't said anything we wouldn't be in this situation.

"You know I always looked up to you." My brother paused. I've heard this before. More tears came. "But I've recently realized you're no longer my hero. I'm never good enough for you. I know I'll always disappoint you but you," he turned to mom, "it literally makes me want to kill myself knowing that you're disappointed in me too."

He stopped as if he had to hold back tears. My dad spoke up.

"Well what do you think I should do?"

My brother let out a breath like it was a laugh.

"Well it already seems like you've kicked me out. So I guess I'll go."

"I think that's the best for both of us."

There was a bit of silence before my brother stood up and walked out the front door. I cried more and didn't move from where I was.

This is my fault. I did this. I broke up this family.

My dad got up and went to his room. Mom stayed in her seat and cried softly. After all, she had just lost a son.

Scared to lose him I ran out the front door to see my brother standing in front of his bags of packed stuff. I tried walking up to him to hug him but he walked away, his back turned to me.

"I-I'm sorry. I-It slipped out..."

My brother turned to me with tears in his eyes. He opened his mouth and struggled to get his words out.

"This is not your fault. I fucked up. So go back inside and I'll hug you when I get back and am better."

After he said that I quickly walked back inside and looked back through the door before running to my room.

I cried and cried. I couldn't breathe. I was crying so hard. I got out my phone and called Zach needing to talk to him.

He picked up after a couple rings.

"Hey what's up?"

I sniffled a bit before getting some words out.

"It's all my fault."

"Woah woah what's wrong? Do I need to come over?"

"No. You can't."

"Alright, tell me what's wrong."

I took in a deep breath before telling him everything. It took a while for him to respond. He sighed.

"That poor guy. Listen, Jessica, listen to what he said. It's not your fault. It really isn't. So please, don't blame yourself."

"You say that but I can't help but feel like it's all my fault. You can't tell me otherwise."

There was a bit of silence before I spoke up again.

"Just, please talk about something else. Anything else. Get my mind off of this."

"Of course."

And like that my day ended listening to Zach and his words. He talked about his day and just dumb things from the past. I fell asleep after a while. But when I woke up the next morning my brother and his stuff was all gone. It hit me hard seeing that but there was nothing I could do.

What's done is done.