CHAPTER 19

It was Friday. I had stayed home the past couple days. Mom was out at work again so I decided to go to school not wanting to stay home lost in my thoughts.

I went through my locker switching out my stuff when I saw someone walk up to me from the corner of my eye. I closed my locker and looked at Ian as he approached me. He smiled as he looked at me, our eyes locking.

"Hey. I missed you this week."

"Sorry about that. I wasn't up to coming, you know?"

"Yeah I get it. I skipped a lot after the fights I picked. I'm just glad you're ok. You look better too."

"Yeah well I'm good with makeup."

We laughed a little at what I said. Ian lightly lifted his hand to brush his finger by the cut on my cheek. We stood there for a second just looking at each other when the bell rang. I smiled and looked at the ground, my hair coming down to cover my face.

"Well we better go."

Ian held out a hand and I looked at him before looking back at his hand. I hesitated putting my hand out there but the second I reached it out Ian took it and started walking. Our hands were connected and I liked the feeling of it. His hands were soft and rough at the same time and they were warm. It made me comfortable.

As we were walking I saw Zach in the distance. We locked eyes. He smiled before looking down at Ian and our hands. Pure anger was on his face. But so was something else.

Betrayal.

Without thinking I let go of Ian's hand and stopped staring at it.

What was I just doing?

"Sorry, was that too much?"

I looked back at Ian and sighed, shaking my head.

"No, sorry I'm just not used to it."

"Alright. I can back off."

Ian went on without me and I looked up hoping to see Zach still there but he wasn't. He was gone. Out of sight. I tried pushing the thoughts out of my head and continued to class. Since Ian went ahead without me he was already in the room when I walked in. It felt awkward walking in with him staring at me but I guess that's what I get for what just happened.

I quickly went to my seat not wanting any more attention on me. As I passed my Ian I felt his eyes on me the whole time. My heart started to race a bit as he did and I couldn't help but feel embarrassed. I just wish this never happened. I couldn't handle all of this attention and excitement.

As I sat down in my seat and class started I pulled out my phone and saw I got a text from Zach.

Zach - 'We need to talk.'

This was expected after what he saw. Of course he'd want some answers. Some explanations to what was going on. By now I bet he's got a thousand ideas going through his head.

I feel bad. I didn't want to hurt him. I just don't understand my own feelings. God I wish I could figure things out soon so no more drama can happen. If there's one thing I hate, it's drama. And attention.

Why was this happening to me anyway? Why me? I wasn't anything special. I didn't think I'd have anyone fight over me.

I groaned and laid my head on my desk when I felt my phone vibrate telling me I had another message. I slowly turned it over and saw who the message was from.

My brother.

I jolted up getting some attention from the class and cleared my throat looking down at my textbook. Embarrassed, I opened up the text and looked at it.

Michael - 'Hey I got your message. We should call sometime whenever you're not busy.'

He texted me. And he said he wants to call me. This is amazing. I guess behind all the bad stuff some good things can happen. For once I was glad everything had happened to me. I mean, I didn't regret anything before but it's not like I was pleased before. But now I was seeing that this was the end result I got.

Life has a balance to it so of course after all these bad things happening to me and this stress something good would happen. I just wasn't expecting something as great as this.

I miss my brother. I want to see him again. I guess calling him will have to do for now.

I wanted to tell mom about the good news but I was in school. She'd be a little mad knowing I was texting her in class. I'd just have to wait until lunch.

"Ms. Jones I'd like for you to please not be on your phone so much. I do have a class here."

The class was dead silent as I was called out and I felt my heart pound against my chest. Some eyes were on me while others stayed looking forward like they too were embarrassed for me. I slowly put my phone up and lowered my head.

"Sorry..."

My voice was nearly over a whisper but I guess she heard me as she started back up the lesson going on as if what happened never really did. My heart was still pounding and I felt extremely embarrassed about what happened and wanted to just crawl into a hole. Still, despite that I was still happy with recent events. I was excited to call my brother and to talk to him again. I wanted to tell him so much.

***

The bell rang for lunch and I was so tired. I wanted to be home already. I was also starving. I walked to the lunchroom and started to head into a line to buy something when I felt someone grab my arm. I turned around and felt my heart drop in my stomach.

Zach.

My eyes grew wide and I watched him and everyone around us.

"What are you doing?" I muttered under my breath, yanking my arm a bit trying to get out of his hold.

"What the fuck is happening? And why are you wearing so much makeup?"

"Zach, not here. Let go of me."

I felt Zach grip me harder before walking off with me out the doors. He took me out to the side of the school building.

"Zach let go of me!"

He threw me up against the wall and looked at me, just for a second, before kissing me hard. He kissed me, forcing his tongue in. He kissed rough like that night he was drunk. Caught off guard I couldn't help but moan a bit.

In the end, I wanted this. I wanted to feel his touch again. I missed him. I missed the smell of his cologne and the light hint of coconut and pineapple. Without thinking I moved my arms around him and pulled him closer.

I wanted him.

Zach's hands were at my hips but he started to move them slowly up when I winced forgetting about my bruise. He stopped and looked me right in the eyes. He looked so concerned. He grabbed my shirt and lifted it up exposing my stomach. He looked at the bruise on my side and lightly touched it. I winced and he looked back up at me. At that moment he really noticed things.

He stood back up and lifted my head a bit.

"You're wearing all that makeup for a reason. You're covering shit up."

I looked away not wanting to let him see anymore.

"Jess, who did this to you?"

I looked down letting my hair cover my face. I didn't want to answer him.

"Jess, I'm so sorry. I wish I could've been there to protect you. I never wanted to see you hurt."

"Well it's too late don't you think?"

We both looked over at the sudden voice and I felt my heart drop. Ian walked up to Zach and pushed him away from me.

"Back off from my girlfriend."

Zach looked back at me. He was hurt. I wish I could've backed away and run off but I was up against the wall. Zach looked back at Ian and laughed nervously a bit.

"You think that's funny? Fuck off man you don't know anything."

"Oh you think I don't know anything?" Ian walked up to Zach pushing him again. "Who was there when she was passed out on the bathroom floor after being beat up?"

Zach looked at me before Ian pushed him again.

"Hey, hey! What the fuck?" Zach yelled, grabbing Ian's arms, pushing him back a bit. "You wanna go?"

Ian laughed a bit. "Try me."

Zach raised a fist as if he was about to hit Ian. I walked over and pushed Zach off of Ian.

"Stop! Just stop! Both of you."

I felt tears stream down my face. My heart was racing and my legs felt weak.

"Just stop it…"

I fell to my knees crying. I hugged myself. Zach backed up a bit as Ian dropped down to hold me. I don't know when Zach left but when I pushed Ian off of me he was gone. I ran to my car and went straight home.

I got to my house and rushed in and to my room not caring if mom was home or not. I hadn't stopped crying the whole drive back and I felt out of breath with how hard I was crying. I didn't want to think about the things I caused. The emotions Zach showed that I'd never seen before. His anger and sadness. The betrayal.

I didn't want to think about it.

I laid on my bed crying, hugging my phone to my chest. I was about to turn it completely off when I remembered the text from Michael. I sat up and dried my tears. I pulled out my phone and texted him saying I could call. Not a moment later my phone started ringing.

"Hey. It's been a while."

The sound of his voice made me want to cry again. But I kept strong and held the tears back.

"Yeah it has. How are you?"

"I'm good. How was Thanksgiving? Sorry I couldn't make it."

"It was good. The Styles came like always." I paused for a second. "I wish you were there. I miss you."

There was a bit of silence between us before Michael spoke up.

"I'm sorry. I miss you too but I can't go home."

"Michael, that was years ago. Mom forgives you and dads no longer with us. You can come home."

"I don't care. I still messed up. I don't deserve to go back home. Mom may have forgiven me but dad hasn't. And since he's gone he never can. So I'm forever shunned."

"Michael..."

I started crying now. I couldn't keep them in. It felt like what happened then happened yesterday. The memories were still there in my mind.

There was more silence between us before Michael sighed.

"How's Zach? You guys still hang out?"

I let out a little laugh.

"More than that. Apparently Zach loves me. I kind of have the same feelings but I honestly can't see us as more than friends. Besides, there is another factor in this."

"Wow I sure did miss a lot. You wanna talk about it?"

I opened my mouth excited to be able to lean on him again but stopped myself. I felt my heart drop. I closed my mouth and stared blankly ahead.

"Nah I'm good." I faked a little laugh. "I gotta go. Mom is calling for me. Text me later?"

"Maybe."

"Alright. C'ya Michael. I love you."

"I love you too Jessica."

With that I ended the call and felt tears fall. They were slow and warm. I hated this. Why did I do that? I finally got to call him and this is what I do. But what else was I supposed to do? It was getting awkward between us. I was happy things were starting to get normal again but I just couldn't. Not with what happened.

I put my phone away and laid down on my bed letting the tears fall. I felt so tired. Drained. I just wanted peace of mind. So much was happening at once and I didn't like it.

I just wish things could go back to normal.