Nobody Cared..Why Did You?

[ Heidie POV ]

Here I am walking alone behind our school campus. Nobody noticed there is old abandoned road here. It's full of plants. Whenever I come here I feel like these plants are welcoming me. There are so many different species of plants here. Some known and some unknown to me. Looking up in the sky I sighed. When was the last time I acted like this? I forgot how to fight. How to fight back.

I stopped living a long time ago. What's the point of fighting when it's useless. Not like if I stop them once, they will stop forever. How I hoped once, that they will stop. Everyone will stop. But my silly head didn't knew it was my happy wish which was sadly broken. I tried. I tried till it bring me down there. Till I understood it was Hopeless. I didn't wished a lot. I just wished to be believed, to be trusted. But someone wrote it in my soul that nobody believes me. I was meant to be...just nothing..

I have forget this shits. It's just a burden for me. Emotions are burden. It's troublesome to have emotions. I feel it. But feeling too much is bad. Emotions make me tied. It's a cage which captures me. It forbids me to live as me. Funny but I find it pathetic. How pityful I am.

Shaking all those thoughts away from my head i am walking in this road. It's just like me. Abandoned by the people who I seek for, and noticed by the unwanted. Like this place resembles me and those emotions I want to get rid of.

I am walking here. As if a sad, depressed person is clearing up her mind. But I am not like that. I am too selfish to be sad. Sometimes I feel like just walking away. Will anybody care if they noticed I am not there? Will my disappearance even be noticeable? Why am I even asking? I already know the answer. I once walked away and they didn't cared. Why will anybody care now? I was hoping someone will care but he told me to not care about others. I know it. I don't care but deep inside there is a little wish. A little care.

But here he is, walking towards me with worried expression. He was always there, he still is. He taught me when to care and when to not. He make me realize the reality. That reality which I was scared to know. I hated this reality. This shit mocks me. How I wished to remove it. But he made me realize that i can't chance it. I can't delete it but I can learn how to not give a damn about it. He made me a stronger a version of me. If he wasn't there probably I would be crying of the same old shit. But now I am proud of who I am. I didn't even imagine that I can fight back. More likely I would fight back. Every time I tried to fight back, Adryan stood up. He stood against me always. And foolish me didn't even know what to do. What to say to him. I was always weak against him. And it hit me hard. My one weakness broke me so badly that I am not scared to have any weakness. And Suga is standing in front of me. My weakness is building in him. He is making me weak. He once taught me how to be strong but now he is making me weak.

"Hey are you there?"

"Huh!?"

"You look like you are in deep thoughts. Like you are about to go on a war. And you are planning your strategy." He said jokingly.

"I was." I said calmly.

"You were?" His joking face was replaced with a worried and confused face.

''Yeah I was. I was thinking how you changed me. How I changed. How different I am from my old self." I replied with a small smile.

"Yeah, you changed. To be honest I am so proud of who person you become." He was also smiling at me. Please don't do that. Don't smile at me.

"How did you find me?" I never knew that except for me anyone knew about this road. Nobody comes here and nobody noticed it till now. So, how did he know I was here?

"I always saw you walking here alone, clearing up your mind. I thought you needed some time alone. So I didn't approached you."

''Huh?" You did? "Why?" Why did you noticed me? Why do you always notice me? I never thought anyone would. Then why you did? Why did you approached me? Why?

"I don't know I just do." He was staring at me.

"You know what happened today? Today I stood up against him. I did that. I fought back.''

"Yes you did. But I can still feel your eyes on him. Those eyes. Your eyes were cold yet warm to him. But nobody saw it. But you can't fake it to me." He really notices every simple detail. He knows me more than I want him to.

"I just hope you know that you have me and the others. We are not like others. Not like them." He said before walking away. Those simple words calmed me so much. You make me feel so damn good Suga. Now I am getting used to it, please don't stop me. Back then I never thought being alone. My friends were just like you. I got used to them. I shared my soul with me. I never needed their support cause they were me. But everything changed. The trust I blindly gave, was pitifully broken. The believe I was proud of, I had to beg for it. Staying beside me? This was the fucking reason I liked Adryan so much. His stubbornness attracted me so much. Just like how he stood beside Haya even he was shocked or maybe a little bit scared me. How he was never giving up. How he always stood beside the person he wanted. And how silly me wanted to be that person. I clearly knew that person was Haya. I was strangely idiot.

I liked you so much yet you hurt me so much. I always gave up while fighting with you. Not because I couldn't. But because I didn't wanted to fight with you. All I wanted was to have you beside me. All I needed was you smiling to me, telling me its okay. But you never did. You made me feel crazy. I liked you but now I started hating you for what you did to me. Nor like you care if I hate you. You would never care even If I die. But I wanted you to care. I wanted it so much Adryan. It also hurt so damn much.