Abuelo

Months have already passed, and I’m starting to get better. It’s because of my Therapist and the people around me. I've been surrounded by positive people, and as much as I can, we won’t always talk about the issue that triggers me. I barely had a panic attack, and I am now 2 months clean.

“We’ll be leaving tomorrow,” Dad said softly as he walked towards me. I smiled at him. He looked more presentable right now. My smile became wide, it’s nice seeing him like this. Because in the past months, I’ve always seen him miserable.

“How long will you stay in Makati?” They already told me about this. Dad got another job there, and Mom will also find work.

“It will take us a long time, but we’ll come home at the end of the month. Are you sure you want to live alone? You can live with your Aunty.”

“I’m okay, Dad. I’m not far away from Sabrina.” But I still worry about my safety, what if there’s a death threat again?

I’m glad now that it already stopped, but there’s just the thought that what if? What if, whoever it is, started to send death threats again?

Am I safe?

At first, they wanted me to come with them, and Dad almost declined the offer to be with me. He’s scared that I might hurt myself again when I’m alone. But I assure them that I won’t because I also promised that to myself.

I barely talk to Mom, and she understands that. She just told me she will find a job but I know she just wants to help me heal. She always thought that seeing her triggers me. And she can’t work anymore because her tummy’s getting bigger. I tried to tell her to just stay here but she declined. She was so determined to be with Dad.

I thought she would live with that man, but she told me she declined.

I’m still mad at her, and with my Dad’s best friend. I’m also mad with my Dad but he’s the only one I can talk to in this house.

“Work well, Dad. So we can take Harry back.” I wonder how my brother is. I haven’t talked to him for a while now. I still can't contact him. I’m wondering what his reaction would be if he knew what happened.

He sighed. “Have you contacted him?” He looked confused and started massaging his head.

“I tried, Dad. But I can’t, even Aunty Bella.”

“I’ll try, later.” I just nodded to him.

“Have you talked with your Mom?” I slowly shook my head.

“I’ll talk to her later, I’ll just finish some of my tasks, Dad.” He nodded.

“I’ll just do some errands…” He kissed my forehead before saying goodbye. I’ll just finish some of my projects that are due tomorrow. I haven’t had a hard time dealing with my school work because Sab, Travis, and Marcus help me.

I tried not to pressure myself, and I learned to go with the flow. I want to be kind to myself. I don’t want negativity anymore, I just want positive vibes. My goal is to be with honors, but if I don’t, I'll just accept it and be happy. Because there’s always the next time.

I’m almost done but I heard some footsteps, I waited a little bit and I saw Mom. She smiled at me, and I did the same thing.

“Can we talk?” I always wanted to avoid her when she asked me this, the reason I always had was, ‘I’m not ready'.

But now there’s a part of me saying that ‘If not now, when will it be?’.

I sighed before nodding. She pulled a chair and sat beside me.

“Was that your boyfriend?” I was kinda shocked because of the question. I was stunned for a moment but she laughed.

“Don’t worry, I won’t ask you to break up with him.” She smiled at me and that made me calm. I didn’t have a chance to tell them that I have a boyfriend. She caressed my hair, it feels so… familiar. The feeling that I missed.

“He said you never had a chance to introduce him, that’s why he did it himself.”

“That day, I saw how he loves you…”

“My Briana isn’t a kid anymore,” Her eyes sparkled.

“Love well, Hija… but don’t be controlled by love.” She caressed my cheeks while she’s looking at me intently with a genuine smile on her face.

I miss her smiles. The genuine ones.

No matter how mad I am, I still love her so much.

“‘My…” She raised eyebrows as a response.

“What… what went wrong?” Her lips trembled as I asked a question.

“Nothing went wrong, Hija…”

“Then why, Mom? Why?” She stood up and pulled me into a tight hug.

“I love your Dad so much,” Her voice broke.

“But not everything is meant to be,” She broke down on my shoulders. I hugged her back and caressed it slowly. Tell me more, Mom. I will listen.

“Your Dad’s best friend, he’s not the father…” She turned to me. Shocked didn’t leave me. So, it was my Dad’s?

“He helped your Dad with everything, he paid for your Dad’s tuition, he even helped us pay our debts…”

“Then he asked for a favor…”

“He asked for me…”

Bullshit. He helped my parents to ask for a favor.

“And Dad… let you?” I can’t help but ask.

“No, but I told him to let me…”

“Mom… you should’ve declined—” She cut me off.

“I was threatened, he would kill us, Briana…”

No matter how I wanted to fix this family, there’s always someone who’s trying to stop us. Why can’t we just mind our own lives?

“Does he touch you, Mom? Harassed you or something?”

She shook her head. I sighed in relief.

“Will it ever ends, Mom?”

“I’ll end it, just give me time…”

“Do you want to be a Lawyer, honey?” She suddenly asks.

I nodded as a response.

“I’m sure you’ll be a good Lawyer,” She smiled. A smile that looks like she’s proud.

“Try to help as much as you can, Hija… Justice is only for those who have money, for those who have connections, that’s what they say. Try to change it, Hija… Not everyone gets the justice they deserve…”

I know that. And it’s just so fucking unfair. What about those people who have no money to get a Lawyer?

“I’ll help, Mom… as much as I can…” She nodded and hugged me.

“Save them.”

***

“Sir…” I called. I was with Travis and his Abuelo. Travis called me earlier, saying that Abuelo wanted to see me.

“Hija, just call me Abuelo.” He commanded.

“Okay, A-Abuelo…” He let out a whole-heartedly laugh. Travis was just looking at us with a smile on his face while fixing a picnic blanket. We’re now at the Park, and it was Abuelo who requested.

“I heard what happened, Hija…” He stated.

“How are you?”

“I’m in the process of healing, Abuelo…” He caressed the top of my head and beamed.

“I’m proud of you, thank you for fighting… and thank you for staying.”

“Travis… saved me all the time,” I stopped when I saw him walking towards us. His smiles are brighter than usual. He looks happy right now.

“I’ll get the food in the car,”

“Let me help you,” I asserted.

“No need, just stay with Abuelo,” Then he left.

“Did Travis know?” I looked at him. I just realized now that he lost weight. It’s not that noticeable because he’s wearing a loose polo. I just noticed his face.

He nodded.

“That’s why I wanted to see you, Hija. Tomorrow, I’ll go to Canada.”

And I remembered. Travis will also leave. I can’t help but feel sad. I will miss Abuelo. He’s like the most comforting person I see, his presence comforts me. It’s just that I feel safe with him.

“Will you come back?”

“Will I still remember you if I come back?”

“I’ll still visit you if you come back,” It was a promise.

“Will you be okay here? Travis will also leave…” I pouted and smiled at the same time.

“Just promise you’ll come back…”

“I don’t promise, Hija.” He smiled sadly. “I’m too old for promises,”

“But Travis, he keeps his promises. He takes promises seriously,”

He always does. When he promised me that we’ll fight together, he did. He stayed with me, and he never left.

“Then I’ll promise, Abuelo…” His smiles were sad, his smiles today were different. I held his hand and held it tight.

“If you don’t come back, then I’ll find you in Canada. Even if you don’t remember me… I’ll still look for you,” He opened his arms for a hug. “That’s a promise, Abuelo…”

“Then I will wait for you…”

“I’ll miss you, Hija… continue fighting, and don’t forget to rest.”

“I’ll miss you, Abuelo. Wait for me.”

We acted like nothing happened when Travis came. I helped him fix those foods, and Abuelo stayed sitting while watching us.

“I would be heartbroken if you two broke up…” He let out a Santa-Claus laugh.

“You won’t be heartbroken, because we won’t break up.” He said with finality. I nodded as I agreed with him. Abuelo has been smiling differently, I can’t tell if he’s sad or happy. It looks like he’s happy and sad at the same time.

Abuelo stood up and walked towards us, I gave him enough space where he can sit. We started eating and Abuelo started telling a story. This is also one of the simplest yet memorable ones in this life. Since that day happened, I started to look at things differently. I value the smallest and simplest things as well as the most valuable ones.

All things have value, and we don’t realize it because we always look and focus on the things we want to value.

We always focus on the good ones. And we’re at the point we forget to value the small ones.

We ended up in Abuelo's arms. I’m on the right side and Travis’ on the other one.

“Always check up on each other, be patient with each other,” Abuelo kissed the top of my head, and then he also did the same thing on Travis.

“If someone’s hurt, apologize… know your mistake and learn from it,”

“Don’t decide if you’re mad, talk when you’re already calm…”

“That’s how a relationship works,”

“And if something’s wrong, talk, don’t keep it in your heart…” He added.

“Open things up,”

That’s what we’re working on. We barely open up to each other. But we kind of opened up to each other now, he’ll ask If I’m okay, I’ll tell him what’s on my mind. And I'll ask him, he will also do the same thing. But I know there’s still something we can’t open up. And we will if we already can.

We started playing Badminton, Abuelo’s just willingly watching.

I stepped forward as I caught the shuttlecock, but I almost fell when I stumbled. I wasn’t that hurt, I looked at them and they looked concerned. I can’t help but laugh. I laughed because of their reactions and in my position right now.

They also joined me laughing while Travis helped me to stand up again.

“I’m okay,” I said in the middle of our laugh.

Travis checked up on my whole body as if something really bad happened.

“I have one last thing to say,” Abuelo caught our attention.

“Don’t lose your precious smiles.”

AUTHOR’S NOTE:

Happy 30k! I’m beyond thankful. Thanks for all the love and the support, I love you all. See you in the next chapters!