It was all grief

14 years ago

Honey! Why are you being so hostile to your brothers? That is not what good girls do. They are your older brothers. You shouldn't talk to them in such a disrespectful tone. Go and apologize.

No, mom! I won't. They were mean to me too. They were saying I am mentally unstable. Am I mom? Mom! Am..Am I insane? Am I mad? Are you gonna leave me in a mental hospital mom?

Oh, my sweet little daughter! You are not insane, you are just perfect the way you are and I would never leave you. I would never do it.

"But.. I have seen it on TV. People leave their family members in mental institutions if they trouble them. Would you leave me too?" I was sobbing and choked while speaking. My heart was truly frightened by the thought of being disposed of like some garbage. Tears started to roll down my cheeks.

I had schizophrenia, a condition that affected how the person felt, sensed and interpreted things. These are the basic symptoms but I didn't have any of them. I just had random hallucinations and doctors said I was in the initial stage so it could be controlled. People basically considered me to be insane or out of my mind and when my brothers actually teased me about it, I couldn't take it. That was the moment I drifted apart from all of them. I started to curse them, I was crying and I just went on sobbing and murmuring they are the worst people, I hate them and I wish they die. It was too much for my mind to take and I was just 4, no way I could have handled it more maturely than to take out my anger and get over it.

They had heard everything and no matter what, they loved me and couldn't see me like that. That was the first time I saw guilt in their eyes, they took off and didn't return. It had been hours since I had seen them and believe it or not, I had too much ego to go and find them. Suddenly, I saw Andrea entering my room, crying, soaked in red colour that seemed like blood. She held my hand tight and dragged me to the hall and there they were, in front of me, lying on the floor. Covered in blood, completely lifeless and all I could think about was it was because I wished they die. I fell weak on my knees and tears escaped my eyes. My heart crumbled to pieces and I was completely shattered. It was the worst feeling I ever experinced. Something that I can't put into words. I felt so miserable. My world turned upside down, I considered I killed them. I considered myself a murderer. All of the moments we spent together, every time we fought, we played, all of that came to my mind all at once. If there is anything called grief, then this was it. It was all grief.

That is when my nanny passed by and came to me as she noticed my pale face.

"Why is my young miss crying? What happened?" She questioned in a cheerful tone. She was an old lady in her 50s and was with me since my birth, she was like a second mother to me. I ran into her arms and started to cry loudly and she could tell there was something wrong. I told her everything and she passed a smile.

Young miss, you are playing a prank on me again but the next time you play a prank, don't ask me for the ketchup. Your brothers came to me to ask for ketchup and now you all are fooling me. Nice try,. She laughed and went away.

Her words, calmed my heart down and I went near the spot they were lying. I didn't wait for them to move. I went near them and started to tickle them and they woke up. It felt like I got my life back. I couldn't ask God for anything better. They were alive and why exactly had they done this? Just because they heard me say I wished for them to die and they really thought this would make me happy. So, they decided to fake their death and make me happy. This was both, the sweetest and the worst gesture anyone would have ever done. It made me feel so good knowing how much they cared for me and made me so angry because of the way they chose but I couldn't exactly blame them. What exactly do you expect from 7-year-olds? As I said, they always had a flair for drama. This was the day I started avoiding them because I always thought that they would make me feel something like this again, something so terrible that I would never be able to take so I started distancing myself from them. I thought staying away from people could protect me from being hurt but I was clearly wrong.

Kol's POV

"Vicky is sleeping right now, we should let her rest" I said while quietly closing the door behind me.

"Is she okay now?" Asked Ryan

Yea, she's better. I guess there was something wrong with the car and she just couldn't control it.

She totally killed me, the second she lost consciousness, it-it scared me to death. No matter we say it or not, but we love each other. I can't even imagine what we would do if something had happened to her. The last few hours were just too much to take. The only place we could think of taking Vicky was here but we were worried how will we reach here. We literally had been on move for hours and yet, we came out of the car and there was this mansion. We had no idea how this was possible but it was to be honest the least of our concerns that time. Her pulse was decreasing, it was difficult for her to breathe but good for us, we had Tyler and being a medical intern he knew exactly how to help but that didn't make it any easier, we were still dead worried for her. Andrea couldn't stop crying and Ryan, he was assuring all of us that everything was okay but he didn't believe it himself. He didn't leave her side for even a single second, it felt like he was a statue with a frowned face, just about erupt because of impatience, after all Vicky had been out for hours, their reaction was completely acceptable. Anyone could get worried and lose their mind if something like that happens to their loved ones. After making sure Vicky was alright, Tyler helped me figure out what was wrong with the car.