16. Question
Diana stumbled back to bed with such negativity. She continued questioning her motivation for her job. She didn't take a shower and just lay down to rest her body and her mind. Look at the ceiling and hope there's an answer to her question.
Diana trying so hard to close her eyes but in the end, she cannot get some sleep. After a couple of minutes, she stands and grabs some wine to clean her mind. Open the curtain and she stares at the half-full moon. Not too bright but left some beautiful mark on her heart. She sits while drinking a glass of wine while closes her eyes.
She wakes up early just like usual and washes her body in the shower. It the first time after a while she didn't sleep well. Walking to the bus stop like usual and do the routine. Diana's a cheerful person, she always brings joy to the work and makes everyone happy with her.
Day after day she did everything just like usual. Everything is repetitive, nothing new in her life. Work till late at night and doing some interviews day after day. Her smiles faint, her cheerful and impassioned personality slowly goes out. Like a fire in the fireplace, but she didn't have enough pile to keeps it light.
"Diana, what happened today? Are you sick?" Mia came to her desk.
"Hmm, no I don't, why?" Diana wondered.
"Nothing, but you little bit quiet lately."
"Really? I didn't realize that."
Mia sigh and grab her shoulders, "You always passioned at work, but you didn't laugh or smile lately. Maybe you tired why didn't have some days off?"
Diana never takes some days off when she's not sick. It feels strange to her if takes the days off. 'Day off? Am I looks tired? Am I didn't smile lately?'
"I don't know Mia, it feels waste if I'm sitting all alone at home."
"What!? Who said you should stay at home and do nothing? You can go to the beach or the mountain with your family. Then, get back when you feel okay. I want to see your smiles again." Mia pats her shoulder and walks away.
Diana stares at her while thinking about what she said. Mia can so care about her if there's something different. Diana back writes some news, she stares at the screen with a flat expression. Slowly her eyes start closes, for a minute she's sleeping in front of her computer. She gasped after woke from her short nights of sleep.
'What? Am I sleeping? Why? It must be I'm not sleeping well last night." She didn't finish her job and go to the cafeteria on the rooftop. Sit at the counter and order some coffee to make her awake. Diana didn't want to decrease her performance at work.
"Diana? Wow this unusual, are you bored?" George the barista asked.
"Bored? No, why are you asked?" Diana asked while put her hands on the desk.
"Ah, you know because it's not lunchtime and you usually didn't come here except for lunch."
Diana frowned, "Hmm, so why you think that I'm bored?"
George laugh and smiles, "Hahaha, don't take it seriously. People always want to get away from their routine when they are bored. That's normal, and it happened in every routine. You never bored when you at work?"
"Nope, I think."
"So why are you here right now?"
Diana fell silent, she wondered. "I didn't have enough sleep last night so I want to grab some coffee."
She answered but in her heart, she knew it isn't the right answer. Now appears one question in her head, 'Am I started bored with this job?' There's show some doubt in her heart. The job that she loved more than anything in her life didn't feel interesting anymore. She didn't know what makes her think this way.
George gives the coffee, "It's on the house, I think you need time to fresh up your mind."
"Well, thanks. You're a pretty nice guy."
"I didn't need your compliment. Don't work too hard, or try to find a boyfriend."
Diana takes her coffee and sits on the edge of the roof. Watching all the people do their work from above. Drink her black coffee to make her eyes open all day. Again, everyone keep tells her to find a boyfriend. 'Ah shit, I starting fed up with all of this. I'm 28 so what?'
She watched the half-crowded streets and their routine. Check her phone if there's anything important massage. Nothing interesting so Diana decided to back to work, walk out of the cafeteria. 'Ugh this coffee doesn't work, I've to wash my face.'
Diana goes to the restroom near the elevator, calm her thought down in the toilet. Sits and meditate for a minute. It's almost lunch so there's someone who goes to the cafeteria early. She hears someone comes to the restroom.
"Did you know what happened to Ms. Christie lately?"
Diana heard someone talked about her. She can't see her face because she is stuck in the toilet.
"I don't know but she acts weird lately, you notice that too?" It sounded like her subordinate.
"Huh, thank god I didn't have to deal with her fiery character. She too passioned about her job and sometimes we should go work overtime with her. Such a pain in the ass,"
"Yeah you're right, but what makes her calm these past few days? Does she fight with her boyfriend?"
"It can't be, she didn't have any boyfriend. I'm afraid she won't get one till she's 30 hahaha."
They left and make fun of her. Diana just sits and heard other people's opinions about her. 'Is this how people always look at me? Have I pushed my idealism to everyone else?' She can't stand up after hearing that. She knows their voice but didn't sure who is it.
Diana cleans herself and goes out of the toilet. Wash her face with cold water to get away from unimportant thoughts in her mind. Tied her hair and watch it in the mirror. She knows the difference between her and herself these past few days.
The water didn't make this better. It makes her feels tired than before, she inhale and hold it for a second to make sure everything's fine with her head. She never tired like this before, in the middle of the day. She can hear everyone laughed and walking outside the restroom.
Diana stood with her mixed-up feelings, didn't sure what she feels right now. Everything like stops in slow motion with many questions, pop up in her head. Her phone ringing and wake her up. Open it with her leftover energy, 'Huh, James? Why he call me?'