17. Restlessness

Diana picks up James's calls, she can barely understand what he was trying to say. Diana just heard the word 'Interview' and 'Come here'. She didn't understand at first, 'Does he want me to interview?' She remembered to give him her card.

Diana isn't sure about going out to his place. Right now her mind is fucked-up. She walks out of the restroom and back to her desk. Watching all the people talking with their group and go to the cafeteria.

She doesn't sure who's her true friends, after hearing someone gossip about her. She sits back in her chair, leans back while daydreaming. Her mind blank, she didn't want to think anything. Nobody talks to her but it feels everything so loud and noisy. It feels like her energy is gone, she just wants to get out of this world. Just for a second.

"Diana? Let's go to the cafeteria. Are you okay?" Mia comes to approach her.

"Huh, yeah I'm okay. I'm already eating, so you guys just go without me."

"Really? That's strange, are you bored or something?"

Diana sighed and rested her head on the desk, "Maybe, that's what people say."

"Wow, this special case. I never think you'll get bored in this job."

That's exactly what on Diana's mind at first. She's the one who was shocked about this.

"I don't know if I'm bored or anything, I've got a lot of problem in my heads, you guys can go,"

Mia nodded and pats her shoulder, whisper that everything will be fine. Left Diana alone on the empty office, 'Ugh, this is really hard to take. I don't even know who's my friends right now. After heard gossip about me, I wonder what everyone thinks about me. Especially Mia she always by my side, I want to know what on her mind about me.'

Diana looked at the phone, it says 13.00 o'clock. The room's quiet, all she can hear is the sound from the streets. People walk over and laughing, the horn from the car and boss yelled at other people.

She stood and packed her belongings, reach for her phone and purse. Pick up her jacket and walk outside the office. She decided to meet James at his place, 'I'll prove that they're wrong, I'm not losing my passion in this job. I can do all the work without other people. I'll never force people to overwork again.'

She takes the bus and heads to James's place. She didn't think straight when she decided to meet James. Her body was hot and she got a little dizzy in her head. Through the middle of the day, she goes almost 30 minutes to his place.

She opened James's apartment door after there's no answer at first, turn out he's drunk and almost passed out on his couch. She drags him to the bathroom and trying to make him wake up. 'Why am I doing this? I should stay at my office instead of taking care of this drunks head.'

She sits down and looks into his laptop, 'Wow, he worked on the new project. Ah, maybe that's why he called me. But why he's drunk? This is not the right time to get high.' Diana gets curious about his project so she keeps asking the question to him on and on. She didn't look at James's face when she asked those questions, she got excited on her own. 'Ah, I'm still good at this, so I'm not changing at all. They're wrong right?'

She is too excited and James can't hold for his rage anymore. 'What happened with this guy, he called me to come but he mad at me what a freak!' Diana can't stand him anymore, she wants to go home, her hand already at the door but then James gives her the reason why he called him.

That makes Diana can't argue anymore, he has an exact problem with her. The suns get very low after all the arguments, Diana stood between the door and the kitchen. Listen to what he wanted to say, she understands what he feels. She looked into his eyes, the cold sad eyes that almost drop the tears because of it.

Diana clenched her fist for a moment, in her heart she wanted to said 'That's fine, I feel what you felt right now.' But she can't and she doesn't know why. James looked terrifying, his serious face and his strong-looking eyes make Diana speechless.

James just like a sea, and she didn't know when the big waves would come. It felt there's a barrier to makes sure she isn't getting carried away with his big waves. The waves can make the other feel curious and terrified at the same time.

She wanted to know more about him but she's afraid just like her mouth locked up. Until he grabs her hands and takes her to dinner. 'He's a good person. I don't know why but I want to go with him. Because he has the same problem as me?'

Diana can't resist the offer, despite she embarrassed to wear office suits. She doesn't know how to act when people looked at her. Everyone else wears an expensive and fancy dress, while Diana wears a black jacket with her id on her neck.

"This is embarrassing," Diana said to James when he pours the wine into her glass.

"Hmm, why? Is this because of how the other people looked at you?"

Diana silent, she nodded slowly with her heads down.

James laughed, "Hahaha, I think you're mature enough for this. You've listened to what people said about you?"

Diana thinks about what he just said. She can't believe take a bit of advice from people who younger than her. Her head can't stop thinking of something that she doesn't understand.

Diana takes the first gulp of her wine, it tastes more bitter than sweet. She remembered when the people gossip at her. 'Why I care so much with other opinions?'

"You're right, I don't know why I did this too. I don't want to be seen as a weak woman." Dina keeps staring at the glass half-empty.

"Diana, I don't know what's the problem that you have. Try to rest at first, that doesn't mean that you were weak or anything. Stop thinking for a second okay," James smirked at her.

Today Diana learned a new thing. She has taken everything for granted, 'I've to accept that I'm struggling with my job. I've to accept that I don't feel comfortable with the circumstances. I'll try to not hear about everyone's opinion. I want to love myself.'

After a half bottled they drink, Diana not good at drinking. She starts blabbering and talking about everything that she had in mind. It makes her spill out her restlessness. James listened to what she wanted to say, about her problem and her condition. Alcohol makes them share their burden without a doubt, lift her pain even if just a little.