41. Goddess

James sat down near the window almost couldn't say anything, he couldn't believe what she just said. Diana eyed the floor, she seems afraid and it showed how hard for her to told this story. James knew it, and he could understand if she won't continue her story.

James cleared his throat, "Umm… it's okay if you're not okay to tell it, I could understand,"

Diana didn't say anything, she hesitated to tell it. She didn't feel comfortable digging into her dark and scariest memories of her life, but she also had a feeling that she should share them with someone. He was the one who made her calm and he deserved to know.

"That's fine, I will tell it." Diana finally sounded.

James laid her back to the wall and gave her time as much as she wanted. He wanted to make her believe that she wasn't speaking to the wrong person. She took a deep breath and tried to tell it carefully.

"It starts when I was in the college, there were a night before graduation. I joined some clubs, we have a good time. Every day we laughed and done something fun, it full of pleasure and joy. Until someday, that night…"

Her breathing felt heavy when she wanted to continue, it was hard for her. 'That's okay Diana, it just a past. Hope I'll say this to the right person. Just said it.' Diana took a deep breath once again and sipped her beer.

"That night, at the farewell party…I was very drunk, and barely can stand. I forgot who it is, and maybe he wasn't in my club. That was a very crowded place, and a lot of people came to the farewell party. My sight was blurry and…and…someone sat next to me."

Diana stopped again, and James listened so carefully. He almost didn't blink, 'how sad and how long that you've been kept this secret, Diana? Take your time, and stopped whenever you want.' 

"I slightly remembered what he said to me, he said 'Do you want to do something fun after this?' I didn't understand what he meant at that time, and I just said 'No thank you, I should go home before midnight' but…"

"Take your time Diana. No rush here," James tried to make her calm because he could see that her breath looked so heavy when said it.

She nodded her head, "He kept pushing me and seduce me then my friend told him to go away. I could breathe easy after that, but it wasn't last long. I'm weak and very drunk, that's why right now I don't want to drink so much alcohol alone."

Diana still eyed the floor, she couldn't look at James, "When the party was over, I went home with my friend but they had some left at the bar so they left me alone. I wanted to take a little walk while waited for them, then…I…I…. I heard someone stood next to me, there was the same voice and he said 'Do you wanted to know love?' then he grabbed my shoulder and dragged me to the empty alley not far away from the bar and …"

She sobbed tears came from her eyes. She cried so hard and James knew that was a horrible moment, he tried to understand the line that that bastard guy said to her. 'Do you wanted to know love? Is that why she get trauma when I said 'Do you ever in love' that almost the same line, and I touch her on the shoulder you're so idiot James!'

James rushed to the bedroom and gave her a handkerchief, "Easy…here," Watched her cried so hard in front of his eyes in pain. Her face was wet with her tears and he could do nothing to helped her, instead of helped, he was the one who made her remembered her trauma.

Diana got calm after a couple of minutes, "I wanted to resist but I didn't have the power to do that. He put something in my body and that still haunted me until now. My friend heard me cried after it, but he was already gone. I couldn't remember his face…if only I could."

'That fucking bastard!' James clenched his fist, he never felt so angry and sad at the same time. "So you and your friend couldn't find that bastard?"

Diana shook her head, "When they arrived, I had fallen to the ground with my ripped clothes,"

"What a bastard!" James yelled but he remembered what he did. He made her trauma back, suddenly his mind felt guilt. "Diana…I'm sorry…I had made you remember that horrible moment by said those things,"

Diana finally looked at James, she could see clearly his face. He felt guilty and wanted to seek her forgiveness and she saw it in his eyes. Diana knew that James wasn't meant to do it.

"That's okay—" She smiled and wiped the tears away from her cheek, "—I knew you didn't mean to do it, and…you're the one who helped me with my trauma, right? Why made that face though, it weird for you,"

She laughed and sobbed at the same time. Diana couldn't stand to mock him after saw his guilt face, she back to her usual now. "That's the thing that I hate from you. You know that I care about your past, so stopped made me confuse. There's a time when we joke, and right now isn't the time."

James sighed, annoyed about her habit. This was the one that made him pissed off. James shook his head, he stared at her. She sipped the beer while checked her phone, wipe clear of her tears. Something that James couldn't do.

She was amazing and that what in James's head when he watched her checked her phone, maintained her job, and still took care of anyone else. He hates to admit that her annoying habit was the one that made him amazed.

'How can you be so strong, Diana? How can you smile after cried so hard?' Something that James wouldn't do and couldn't do. Her personality was terrific, and James would do some high praise of that. She was an independent and strong woman, someone that would be "too much for him" or at least what he thought right now. Some strong goddess sat in front of him, a goddess that cannot be hurt and she will stand at her feet no matter how much you tried to hurt her.