Chapter 6

Number

The sound of the engine became the background hymn of the silence that lingers between us. No one says a word. He is really a silent person.

In all the gossip stories that Joana told me about random popular persons in school, I remembered at least 2% of it, including him. And now, I can say that maybe some of it are actually true. Not that I care though.

I love silence. It's peaceful and calming. And I love it more when I'm alone. I'm not this time, so I have no choice but to look out the window beside me and focus on the dark things outside which looks blurry because of the speed of the car.

My mind came back to the moment I had earlier. It's too early to be nostalgic but, I think that event will continue to playback on my head for a hundred time, until I can actually set it at the dark corner of my mind. Just the thought of it sends chills of fear all over me. I shook my head and tried to think of other things that I should be looking forward to. This is your second life. I reminded myself. Another chance to fulfill your goals. Don't waste it.

We were travelling for minutes while I'm lost in my thoughts, when the car speed slowed down. I turn to him and about to ask when I noticed that we are nearing our home. What the? I'm too pre-occupied that I forgot to tell him my address. Wait. What?

We are already on the gates of our house when I realized that, how did he know my address? Should I ask him? Wouldn't it sound rude after all the trouble I caused him? I decided not to.

I unlocked my sitbelt and pull it away before opening the car door. Fortunately, I managed to stand on my own. I walk a few steps towards the gate before turning to him. He is standing near his car door, waiting for me to settle on my footing.

"Ahm. About earlier, thank you", I said in a small, airy voice making it sound unsincere to me. I'm not used to owing someone so saying 'thank you' is not my thing. I hope he didn't mind it.

I looked at him, just standing there and looking back at me. Err, isn't he gonna say something back?

"Thank you for helping me and offering a ride home", I added just to see if I can have a reply from him.

"It's all good. Just don't be reckless again", he pointed out. Okay I'll note that one.

"Then, I better get inside now. Take care", I said while waving a little and turn to open our gate. I walk slowly, up the three-step staircase, before reaching the door. I turned to my back to see if he was already gone. And he's not. He just stand there, waiting for me to get inside. And so I did. I opened the door with my spare key and invited myself in.

Upon closing the door, I heard his light-sounded engine car and then slowly fade into the silence of the night.

I heaved a deep sigh and slam myself on our couch. For a few seconds, I feel like staring at the ceiling. What just happened? I thought to myself. A lot.

Before I get lost in my thoughts again, I helped myself climb up to my bedroom to change. I do really stink so I decided to take a shower. I was removing my jacket when I noticed it wasn't mine. Shit. He must be waiting for me to hand it back to him that's why he's not leaving a while ago.

I slapped my forehead at my stupidness. How many embarassments are you planning to make before this day ends?

I remember having his number on my phone so I took it off my bag. It was dead, I remember.

I plugged it on a socket, finding the right position for my battered charger which is bondaged in electric tape, and decided that I should take a bath first and clean my wounds while waiting for my phone to come back to life.

I had an extremely fun childhood. The scars on knees are the proof of it. My dad was my playmate and we often do something reckless that I can't go home without any cut, scrape or wounds. Of course, I cry whenever I get hurt yet, there's my dad just standing there, laughing at me at the corner. Unlike other dads who treat their daughters like a princess, mine was a bully. Yet, whenever he was finished making fun of me and the stupid stunts I can't pull, he will approach me and still tend to aid my wounds. He always has a kit with him. Of course he has to, since he always prank and fool me to do things that ended up to adding a scar on the collection on my knees.

While tending my wounds, he always say 'things for me to keep for a lifetime', as he said.

"The world is mean, Eli. This wounds are far too little and subtle. But then, it don't mean it doesn't count. You can always cry when you want to. Your tears are valid", he said while applying some ointment on my knee.

"But you're the one who always makes me cry. You're the one who is mean. And how come my tears are valid when you only make me cry for fun ", I interjected.

He laughed at my response and patted my head.

" They are valid because you are crying for the person you love", he said with a soft and tender look on his eyes.

Back then, I hardly understand his logic but I still kept his words.

"I didn't do that to make fun of you. I did it for you to be brave in taking risks. You can't learn anything if you're scared to try. Or if you're scared of getting hurt. These wounds will be the proof of your success someday", he said trying to justify his bully actions.

"Whatever. I can't be a top model with this knees", I managed to joke. He knows me well enough that I will never be one, making him burst into laughter.

"It's far from your intestines ", he said before laughing again.

He always say that idiomatic expression to me whenever I'm panicking with my wounds or being anxious about it. It means, I can't die with just that since it's far from my internal organs.

"It's far from your intestines", I whispered to myself while I'm cleaning my wounds with a ball of cotton and betadine.

I winced at the first touch of the cotton on my flesh. It's been long time since I had wounds. And it's the first time I'm tending it myself. Without my dad.

I shook the sadness that's slowly creeping in and continue with I'm doing.

"It's far from my intestines", I repeated like chanting a magic spell.

When I'm done, I plastered it with a band-aid and crawl into my bed. I feel exhausted all of a sudden.

I checked my phone on the bedside and it's already on, with a few percent of charge. I slide its screen to unlock and decided to sent a message to Van regarding his jacket.

Surprisingly, I got a message from him and it was sent just a few minutes ago.

I suggest that you save this number. It just saved your life ;) -Van

I can't help but make face at his text. It wasn't a lie but I also can't take it as a fact. Damn, this guy is sly and arrogant.

And here I thought he's a serious type of person because he is silent. I can't believe he's using the circumstances to make fun of me. I definitely know he is not hitting or flirting with me because... it's me. No reasons needed.

I didn't do what he said and erased his number without second thought. I know it looks rude but I don't feel any guilt since I already said 'thank you' to him in person. That's what matters. No need to keep in touch.

Besides, I don't want to be involved with him. I have an unknown feeling about it.

I put my phone aside and get up to wash my clothes. I don't have enough energy to do it but I have to because it stinks.

I'm putting the laundry in the machine when I saw his jacket. Oh shit, his jacket! I quickly put it in and run back upstairs to check my phone.

I slapped my head when I realized I just deleted his number. Great, Eli. You are doing great for being stupid. My mind commented while clapping in a slow manner.

I slam myself on my bed and groan in frustration. Now I have to give it back to him in person. It's not like I could ask anybody for his number. It would be too weird.

After thinking of ways on how to return it to him, I fell asleep trying to remember the digits of his number I just foolishly deleted.