CHAPTER 7

FALLING IN LOVE WITH EVIL

“Are you okay Timothy.” I say and as soon he hears my voice he turns and walks towards me so fast I swear I want to runaway but my legs won’t allow me to run, I swallow a chunk of saliva and although my heart is beating fast out of fear I still want to be here with him: I want to fix whatever is wrong. I am just standing there like a fool waiting for him to come to me.

He embraces me and really breaks down. He cries so loud that I end up crying along with him. He is literally shaking and my heart really sinks to my knees. I tighten my grip as I embrace him and we both go down slowly and kneel not breaking our hug. I run my fingers along his black smooth hair and he slowly calms down.

“Please talk to me, what is wrong? Tell me Tim.” I ask him softly it comes out as a whisper and he looks at me. Although we are surrounded by darkness, I can see his eyes perfectly. They are staring right into my own brown eyes. Black eyes searching to find comfort and confidence. I cup his face and he rests his head on my hand then places one of his hands on my hand.

“I don’t know where to start. I just want you to hold me.” He pleads with me and I hug him, I hold him so tight and I feel something. Something I had never felt, an urge to kiss him. I want him to hold me.

I release him and we look into each other’s eyes and I kiss him . I shut my eyes and savor every minute, every single emotion I am feeling. His hands travel around my body and I feel my knees shake with want. For the first time I am yearning for someone: a longing I have subdued from the very first day I saw him. He caresses my face and my fingers fist his hair as we continue exploring each other’s tongues. His mouth claiming mine, his tongue searching and our lips dancing in sync. Simultaneously our heads move as we kiss and I feel my body succumb to him. His effect is too strong I can’t hold myself : I just can’t help it.

I pull away from the kiss and I look at him. “ Were you really going to do it? End your life?” I ask him as I cup his face.

“Yes. It would have been better that way.” He says closing his eyes and I shake my head in disbelief.

“For whom? Timothy you would have just been selfish.” I tell him and he looks at me.

“Selfish? To whom? No one cares, no one would have! My dad doesn’t care, he is playing happy family with his new family he doesn’t care!” He says in anger and I shake my head.

“That’s because I care about you! I do, I care for you and I want you to live.” I say and he looks into my eyes.

“I am sorry Azande. I don’t think I am good for you though, you should just runaway from me as fast and as far away as you can.” He says standing up and walking away from me. I stand up and rush to the light socket. I switch it on and he turns to face me.

“I am not good for you. I will ruin your life! Just stay away from me.” He says and I shake my head no.

“I am not going anywhere Timothy. I won’t leave you.” I tell him and he faces the window.

I walk towards him and hug him from behind.

“I am not leaving you Mr Wickham , you are stuck with me.” I tell him and he chuckles. I see a smile form on his face.

We stand in silence like that for minutes and finally he turns to face me.

“Let’s go downstairs I'm really famished.” He says and I nod. I check the time and I realize that it’s midnight. Oh Lord! My mom will kill me but I will deal with that when I get home.

We go to the kitchen where I make him a sandwich as I cook something fast.

“You should take care of yourself Timothy. Neglecting your health like this isn’t good.” I tell him and he smiles.

“Yes Ma'am!” He says smiling and I laugh at him. I quickly dish up for him and I watch him eat. He doesn’t take his eyes off me as he slowly chews his food. The visual looks so sexual, the way he slowly chews at his food then takes a pause his tongue relishes the crumbs on his lips. I watch him swallow and his throat move. He laughs when he realizes that I am staring at his mouth.

“You know you can always ask me to do the same thing to you. As in eat you and I’ll do it with pleasure.” He says and I snap out of my fantasy world and laugh at what he is saying.

“I am just making sure you are eating Mr Wickham. I want to make sure that you are actually swallowing your food.” I say raising an eyebrow and he laughs.

“I swallow everything I eat and if it happens to drip on my lips I just lick it and make sure it’s where it belongs.” He says swallowing his food and I laugh.

“And where could that be?” I ask him and he laughs.

“In my mouth. I wonder where your mind is at the moment. We still have plenty of time for all the demonstrations Miss Radebe no need to rush this.” He says smirking at me and I gasp as i laugh.

“I've been talking about food this whole time, I have no idea what you are talking about Mr Wickham.” I say with a smug on face and he laughs as he continues eating. When he is done eating I smile at him.

“You owe me lunch tomorrow.” I tell him smiling and he nods.

“Thank you for coming.” He says now holding my hand and I look into his eyes.

“I’ll always be here with you Tim. Don’t forget it. For now I have to go or my mom will stab me to death.” I say laughing and he looks at me surprised.

“I'm just joking. Bye. ” I say as he walks me out and we hug before I jump into the car.

“And Tim, always remember that I’m just a call away.” I say looking at him which he responds with a nod and I drive off in the dark.

When I get home I park the car and sneak in. I tiptoe in the dark but I almost faint when the lights go on.

“Where the hell have you been?” my mom's voice stops me in my tracks.

“I can explain Mama it’s not what you think.” I tell her and she shakes her head .

“When someone says that it’s always the case! Where were you? Young girls are being targeted and killed and you want to gallivant so late at night! Worse you took the car without my permission. You dared to use your father’s car without my permission!” Yes you heard that right. My mother has carefully maintained my dad’s car all these years.

I sigh and look at her.

“I had to help a friend out. Had I not gone there he would have committed suicide. “ I tell her and she walks towards me.

“Azande are you a savior now? What would you have done if this sick man got to you? Why are you so selfish? I am so disappointed! Who is this friend?” she asks now standing right in front of me and I take a step backwards.

“Timothy. He was really feeling down, I just had to check on him.” I say and I feel my cheeks on fire. I realize that she just slapped me .

“You have never done this before. Ever since you met that Timothy you have been behaving strangely. When have you started sneaking out of the house and lying to me? What were you doing with this boy Azande!” she shouts and I jump out of fear. I have never seen my mom this angry before.

“Mama I am so sorry I didn’t want to sneak out but I knew you wouldn’t have allowed me. I have never lied to you till date and I won’t start now. I didn’t do anything with Tim. I just got to his house and spoke to him, I calmed him down because he was planning on committing suicide. He is from a broken family and needs a little sympathy and compassion. I swear I didn’t do anything with him I just wanted to help him because I care about him. I am so sorry Mama. Please forgive me.” I say looking at her and I see her calm down slowly as she realizes that I am in fact telling the truth.

“Mama it’s true that I like this boy a lot but I wouldn’t betray you like that. I wouldn’t disregard all your 19 years of teaching and just give myself away just like that. You raised me better than that. I am so sorry I will never do this again. I will inform you about everything please just don’t get mad. You'll deteriorate your health. I have already lost a father I can’t lose you too.” I tell her now crying. She holds me and pulls me into her arms and we hug.

“I forgive you baby, but please next time just make sure you tell me . I don’t want to lose you too. You are all I have. I don’t want you making any silly and hasty decisions as well. “ She says as she rubs my back and I nod.

She let’s me go and I hand her the keys and return to my room.

I immediately sleep .