CHAPTER 6

FALLING IN LOVE WITH EVIL

He follows me and grabs my hand softly and pulls me to himself . I feel my breathing accelerate as our bodies touch and he abruptly pins me against the wall and I feel weak. Passion and desire burn within me and I hold onto him as we look at each other. He doesn’t kiss me but gives me something better which is intimacy. We connect on another level just by looking into each other’s eyes and we feel the connection. Real intimacy not just physical interaction or physical intimacy but emotional intimacy. I feel the intertwine of our souls as we both cast spells on each other just by looking in each other’s eyes.

“What are you doing to me Azande?” he says rubbing his forehead onto my own forehead.

“I don’t know what’s happening to me too but I love it. I love what you make me feel.” I whisper into his ears and I see desire burning in his eye.

“I think we should go downstairs.” He whispers and I nod.

After that we go to the living room where we eat some snacks and talk.

“So tell me about yourself Azande. Who is Azande Radebe?” He asks and I smile.

“Well Azande Radebe is a very reserved person, not so outgoing and a nerd. I am an introvert and I only talk a lot when I am around people I am acquainted to. I am a very inquisitive being, I always want to know more. I am independent, I love doing things myself. I am smart and very sensitive. Deep thinkers/talkers really interest me and I really love reading books. I am basically what you see” I say and he smiles as he nods.

“You are interesting. Besides your mom do you have any other family?” he asks me and I nod.

“I used to have my grandparents, that is my mother’s parents however they both passed away 3 years ago in a car accident. Now the only family we have are her siblings but they are not so close: they all just drifted somehow they have different lives but are pretty much in contact . My dad's family is just distant they don’t like us.” I say looking down and he nods.

“what about you? Who are you?” I ask and he stands up and stands in front of the window.

“I am a mystery Azande. I can’t describe myself. I am what you see. “ he says and I look at his muscles as they stretch under that black tight t-shirt. He tilts his head to the other side and sighs.

“I'm like a dark force. I only have vices. Never really had friends and never really got along with my father. I don’t know who I am.” He says then turns to face me.

“What happened to your mom?” I ask him and I see his hand slowly turn into a fist. His jaw tightens and his eyes darken. His lips form a hard line and his nose just flares up. He remains quiet for what seems like a minute or so.

“I’d rather not talk about her.” He says under gritted teeth and I quickly nod .

“I didn’t mean to upset you. I am so sorry Timothy.” I apologize and he turns to face the other side then after a few seconds he faces me then I see his face relax. Goodness!

After the fun but weird hang out with Timothy I couldn’t fathom whether or not I wanted to be with him. I am scared of him, he is unpredictable but I just can’t stop myself from falling for him. I lay in bed with my phone on my chest.

“Azande! Dinner is ready!” My mom shouts and I wash my hands then join her. We eat dinner chatting over a light conversation.

“Aren’t you scared of this sudden serial killer who has just appeared out of nowhere.?” She asks me and I shake my head no.

“ No I am not scared. I don’t know why but I just don’t feel scared.” I say and she chuckles.

“You are in love with this boy. I see.” She says and I arch my eyebrow.

“ What? What does that have to do with this mom?” I ask laughing and she shakes her head in amusement.

“Your sudden fearlessness is the result of being in love. When someone is in love they don’t fear anything and I see a change in you ever since you told me about that boy.” She says and I remain quiet for a moment then I look at her.

“I am scared. I'm scared of my feelings, I am scared of him and I seriously don’t know what to do.” I say and she looks at me.

“Why are you scared of him?” she asks arching and eyebrow.

“He is just different and sometimes intimidating, not that I am scared of him hurting me but I am scared of what I feel for him.” I say and she nods.

“Well it happens Aza you just need to make a decision and just forget everything and take a risk.” she tells me and I nod. We eat and after that I do the dishes and we watch our favorite shows.

At 10pm as I am about to go to bed another murder is announced on the news. Another Black haired girl from campus Alison McKenzie was murdered. I look at my mom and she shakes her head.

“Whoever is killing these women is really a psychopath of some sort and a serial killer. A professional at that because he leaves no clues.” My mom says and I shake my head in disbelief!

“This is crazy and it keeps on happening in our campus so that’s scary. “ I say and she holds my hand.

“ Even though I walk through the valley of death , the Lord will never forsake you.” She says and I nod. We stay up for a while then I go to bed. I lay there in my bed restless so I call Tim.

His voice is down and cold.

“What’s wrong are you okay?” I ask him and I hear his voice crack on the other side.

“I feel bemused. I am fighting a losing battle with myself and you make me want to be better.” He says and I feel my heart sink. Hearing him cry really breaks my heart.

“Then don’t. Stop fighting and start healing. Start forgiving. Let me help you.” I say and he chuckles in between his sobs.

“You won’t be able to help me Azande I am in too deep I am just beyond repairs. I don’t think I’ll ever attain redemption.” He says and I hear him cry.

“I want to try. Let me try. I feel so strongly for you and I want to help you but you have to let me in. You have to stop pushing me away and start opening up.” I tell him and I hear him sigh .

“ It’s complicated you won’t understand. I want to live but living causes more harm than good so I am better off dead. “ He says to me and as I am about to reply he hangs up on me. What!? What did he mean by that? Is he trying to kill himself? I sit up and think. I can’t tell my mom but I need to go to him. I wear my sweatpants and a hoodie on top then I check for my mom. She is fast asleep already. Her pills must have knocked her off. I take her car keys from the key cabinet then sneak out. I call Timothy as I get out of the house but he doesn’t answer so I rush to the car. I get in and type in his address on my phone cause I really think I have forgotten. I hope my mom doesn’t realize that I am gone. I took the other car from the other garage so hopefully she won’t notice just in case she wakes up.

I drive as fast as I can and in 20 minutes I reach his house. I park the car and rush inside. His house is scary at night cause it’s really dark and quiet .

I knock on the door but no one answers so I go around and I remember that he told me that he doesn’t lock the sliding door in his room. So I enter that way and I see a male figure standing near the window. He has his hands on his sides and is just standing there. When he hears the sound of the sliding door I see his head tilt a bit but he doesn’t turn.

I enter and walk towards the light socket. “Don’t turn it on” he stops me on my tracks and I stand still.