Results

The results came through with perfect scores in blood count and calcium. Though the calcium levels are at the brink of being high. Vitamin D on the other hand is 4.28 which is extremely deficient. I knew he'd tell me that it's just vitamin D deficiency but I don't believe it for a second. Not one. It's like an inner gut feeling that its more than that.

I call him and wait for him to pick up. Fawn is sitting in my bed waiting expectantly for my news. "Hello Raven!"he says kindly. "So what's wrong with me?"I say getting right to the point. "Wow no small talk. Ok, you will have to take vitamin D tablets once a week for like 3 weeks and then every month after that, the 50000 ones. Do you have any other symptoms?"he says and asks out of concern.

"Uh yeah! I don't think it's vitamin D deficiency. I mean because it's like clicking when I walk and paining only when I walk and bend mostly,"I say seriously. "Ok then I'll suggest you go to an Orthopedic,"he says in a professional manner. "Thanks I will do that,"I say patiently. "Get your parents involved Raven, it's important that they know,"he says patiently. "Yeah but they won't believe,"I say with anger evident. He sighs and I cancel the call. I feel the frustration burning inside me from the lack of care and understanding.

"Why do you think mum and dad won't believe you?"Fawn asks innocently. Her emerald green eyes glowing with kindness. "Life's more complicated than that Fawn. When you grow up you'll wish you were this young again,"I say but she shakes her head, disagreeing with my truth. I continue, "I wish I was your age right now than people would believe me and actually care, but the truth is that no one cares especially when your young." She nods sadly.

"I'm sorry I shouted at you that day but you've gotta understand the way life works Fawn, not everything is going to be in your favor all the time. Just be-careful around me now,"I say kindly to her and her green eyes sparkle. My mum barges into my room and I don't say anything. "What did the doctor say?"she asks with an attitude evident. I say the thing that won't make her feel like I've been diagnosed and I'm stupid, "He referred me to an Orthopedic."

"So when are you supposed to go for that?"she asks with hate evident in her voice. "When I make my appointment,"I say sweetly. "Well your not allowed to put silly ideas into your sisters head, don't make her believe you're sick when you're not,"she says seriously while shouting. I roll my eyes.

The stress, the fact that no one believes me, it's getting to me. "Fawn you should go have your nap. I want to be alone for a while,"I say kindly with the saddest smile evident in my face, tears ready to spill. Fawn reluctantly but happily makes her way out the door. So innocent, I wish I could be her and anyone else could be me.

As soon as she closes that door I shove my face into my pillow and burst into uncontrollable sobs. After I cried, I made my appointment for the weekend. I have to go to school tomorrow. I put an alarm on for 30 mins so I could have a nap but I just couldn't sleep no matter how tired I was. I fell asleep early in the morning and wake up the next morning with more problems than the day before with the addition of lack of sleep. I feel so fatigued.

I'm struggling to walk and stand, that causes my hip to pain. Walking too much has always caused the bottom of my feet to hurt a lot. I get back pain when I do too much as well, I've had this for like 2-3 years now. Thumb pain, I once went to the doctor for it, he said it was nothing. I couldn't write for a few days. I used to have growing pains as a kid and I was the only one in my family. Out of all the kids! It's hard to imagine that you miss these things.

I decide to quickly do everything so I can go to school and get this week over with. Today's Tuesday since I didn't go on Monday, we didn't go to Church either. I made my way in and I see my friend so I go up to her, I ask her if we can sit until the bell rings. She obliges.

We sit and talk until the bell rings. I go to class but I'm struggling to walk today. The pain in my hip and knee is unbearable today. It's like if you have sprained your ankle before but 24 hours a day and all year long. I sit the whole day in my chair which irritates my soul, it's like when you need to go to the toilet. I can't get the idea out of my head.

"Raven! Why don't you have the printout?"the teacher asks irritated. "Um I was absent yesterday,"I say seriously but nervously. "So who else doesn't have the printout? Ok 5 students plus you. Go print out copies for everyone Raven,"she says in conclusion. I sigh a loud sigh. "Mallory can you please do it? I can't!"I say nervously to her. She nods.

"Here Raven!"She says kindly. "Let Mallory go cause I can't walk,"I say, "my knees hurting." The teacher says, "Ok get well soon!" She hands the papers to Mallory and she gets the copies for everyone including me.

The day goes by fast and I'm exceedingly happy when the weekend finally comes around. My mum, dad, Fawn and brother are coming to the doctor with me. I honestly don't want them to come with because they're too judgmental. They just don't want it to be true, because, I don't know what their reason is. As soon as he says something they'll go with it because they want this to be over, I will fight till the day I die. I will find out what it is even if I find out when I'm 50.

I figured out something quite recently. People who don't have problems don't want to live, but people who're sick, except mentally unstable people, want to live more than anything. Sadly, it's not possible for everyone.

Some people have to die without a diagnosis. That's why the saying, "Life gives you another chance, it's called tomorrow." Is true for most people, but what about the people who die, who can't change who they are, who have to live with what they have no matter how many chances life gives them their lives will never change.