How I Felt

Ok, so your probably wondering who this guy is and all that (or probably not but still ) ok so to start it all the guy's name is Warren jr he's um two years older than me we meet when I was twenty then a year later we found that the feelings we had were too strong to be just friends when he asked me out I was kinda skeptical at first because you know he had already told me that he was a player and things like that. But you know I figured that wouldn't matter to me since I had already told him that we would be nothing but friends I also never believed him when he told me that he could never be just friends with a girl like me little did I know I would feel the same for him maybe even more. So after I gave him my answer I felt I don't know honestly I just know I felt happy and whole, we were alike in so many ways we both are Virgos his birthday is a few days after mine, we both have a very dirty mind, we have the same way of thinking at times. It was a lot of things that made me fall in love with him he made me feel important and needed and I think I made him feel the same way it touched my heart when he told me out of all the girls he has ever been with I'm the only one that he fell in love with and that I'm the only girl he's changed his ways for he also said that I'm the only girl that he didn't want to just fuck he actually saw a future with me. We even talked about what would happen if we got married. It's just crazy we talked and fell in love but I don't know what happened he just, he just left leaving me to wonder if it was my fault or if something bad had happened or even he had found someone better.

So when I saw him at the store a few days ago he gave me his number and as we are talking he tells me that he found this song of how he felt the first time he met me but he just didn't know it was out at the time and as I listen to it I start to cry because it reminds me so much of him and me it just took me back. So about two hours go by and I finally tell him that when he just up and left a year and a half ago that shit hurt me and broke me more then I was already broken, and as I say that to him I can see a mix of hurt, regret, and remorse in his face I asked why or how could he do that to me and what he said made me know he cared for me the way he says he does.

He said " baby girl I am so sorry for hurting you the way I did just know that I had to I know it sounds crazy me saying I had to hurt you, but I did I did some horrible things, and I did some time for and even if I didn't do any time for it I would still have had to go even though I can't tell you what I did I had to get away or you the people you love, and the ones I love could have got hurt and I wouldn't be able to live with my self-know that it would be my fault if anything bad happened to you or anyone that you or I care about just know that I am truly sorry for hurting you, but I had to to keep you safe" I didn't even know what to say so many emotions confused, happy but most of all grateful I was confused because I really wanted to know what he did that could have put us in danger. I was happy because he was ok and I was grateful because he really did change the old him wouldn't have cared if he put anyone in danger but him doing that shows that he's different