Home Is Where The Pet's Bed Is

--Pocket D--

Fang was at a loss. After forming its cave the Chimera had gone inside to curl up and sleep. Its rank had dropped to a steady rank B to Fang's relief. However it was blatantly ignoring him at every attempt to communicate.

It wasn't that he wanted to talk to the Chimera. Well having been a gamer in his past life he did to some extent. His laid back personality however typically meant if someone chose not to take the first steps he would leave them to themselves. The Chimera was clearly such a case, yet it had placed itself in the middle of the zombie barrens creating some serious issues.

A few hundred years as an S rank undead had significantly numbed him to the death and suffering of other undead. As his previous master had always said, undead are a dime a dozen. Only a few would ever amount to anything. The problem lay in his new master however. Sam had a habit of taking in every lost soul she found. Be they zombie, skeleton ghost or whatever else.

When Sam's mother had passed him down to Sam he took a soul oath to keep Sam safe. Under this oath he was responsible for ensuring she remained alive yet still faced hardships so she would continue to grow stronger. Her penchant for collecting undead like some girls collect stray animals however had a habit of making that rather difficult.

Aside from a few unique cases, summoned undead were completely loyal to the necromancer that created them. Undead picked up like strays however were a different matter and required a soul oath to make them truly loyal. Without either of those the best you could hope for was keeping them happy, and praying they didn't cause any issues.

This was how Fang ended up playing middle man between an overgrown cat and a bunch of stiff necked cadavers.

"This is absolutely inexcusable sir!" The tallest of the zombies had his nose stuck in the air higher than a dog at a hot dog stand as he complained to the taller Oni Death knight in his best attempt to look down on him. This latest group of zombies Sam had picked up at a nobles estate that had been overrun by a plague. Frankly, Fang couldn't wait for the annual trip to visit Sam's mother so they could offload this batch with her mother.

"I am turning green! See that! Do you want the vampires to think I have scurvy?" The vampires Keevine spoke of were the incestuous twins. Fang couldn't stand them and had it on good authority that they sucked big time. Why anyone ever thought vampires were some sort of undead royalty was beyond him. But the ex-noble zombies believe it and being the scheming slime balls in death that they had been in life they had stuck to the vamps like moths to a flame.

"Look mon you're a zombie. You can't get scurvy. Pretend you're a shiny Pokemon, or something mon." Fang was trying to lighten the mood but these two were utter nightmares.

"What! If anyone dares poke me I will bite their fingers off! Who do you think I am?" Keevine's face got a dark red color from his anger and Fang considered pointing out he wasn't green anymore. Instead he snapped back with a different old world reference in irritation.

"Dead mon, rejoice." He instantly regretted it as the highest pitched voice he had ever heard a non-banshee make picked up.

"Why I never! I demand to speak with your summoner! This behavior is unacceptable." An equally hideous plump female zombie was standing just behind Keevine in a way that expressed her irritation.

"Look Kareena, mon. In another world your threat would have been hilarious, mon. But this isn't a bloody resort mon. Now the both of you get the hell outa here and let me resolve this or I'll let the bloody cat eat you!" As funny as he had found the name suggestion he had made to Sam at the time he was now regretting how accurate those names had been.

Fang breathed a sigh of relief as the worlds two most obnoxious zombies stormed off, undoubtedly to complain to the worlds two most suckiest vampires. Fang was very proud of the puns and memes he was able to bring into this world, but sometimes they managed to bite him in the ass. Thankfully he had an ass made of bones so it didn't hurt much. He chuckled softly to himself before looking back down at the new radioactive cave with a sigh.

"Where the hell is a cheeseburger in this world when I need one."

--Green Vale Academy Cafeteria--

Jack and Sam arrived just as the breakfast rush was ending and found the others were still eating. Sam decided to grab some food for herself before sitting down to join them and Jack just watched longingly as everyone chatted and ate.

He really missed food. Well, not all the downsides, like gas, heartburn, bloating, or having to take a crap. But the tastes... oh the joy of a good slice of pizza or a hot bowl of ramen. Those were things he could never forget. Sadly being a skeleton had the disadvantage of not being able to consume food.

To Jack's relief breakfast was finished rather quickly and the group decided to head out to the town home. Jack was in relatively high spirits as they passed through the school for the forest grounds. The dog bed had been left back in the old room so he had high hopes for the new place.

Jack was impressed as they passed the first row of trees. The house had the look of a Japanese courtyard town home blended with a viking longhouse. It allowed for a strong concealed living quarters but also allowed for an open feel for those living inside. It was practicality and functionality merged with comfort and design in a beautiful harmony.

"Mira's brother built it his first year here. He let us move in when Mira started having trouble with her summons in the dorms. He's a third year so he's not around often. But when he is he tends to isolate in his room." Cheech explained as they approached the town home.

"The central building in the courtyard holds the kitchen and shared living areas. The outer ring buildings are the private rooms." Sam nodded as she patted Jack on the head in her excitement. Cheech noticed and continued with a smile.

"We also have mana formations set up so our summons can be kept out as long as we want. That was Mira's idea, so she could work with her artifacts more."

"Tony can be a bit much at times. I needed some extra time to work with him outside of combat." Mira half smiled in defense. Jack figured she was talking about the relic pistol from before, he had definitely seemed like a handful.

"Come on. Let's get you to your new room." Amber said excitedly. She had remained quiet far longer than Jack had expected she was even capable of. "It's three times larger than your own room, and you get your own bath!" The last word she said with more of a squeal of excitement than an actual word.

Jack would have rolled his eyes if he had any. Girls were the same in every world.

The courtyard was as impressive as the outside had been, and Jack caught his breath the moment they stepped through the entry gate. A short tower stood in the center with waterfalls falling from the top floor out of open wall panels into the garden below. A small river ran through the garden creating a calm tranquil environment.

They headed for the far end once they had taken in the view to where the others were already waiting for them. A round door that reminded Jack of an old series of movies he watched in his old life was propped open for them to enter. The room did not disappoint as a heavy fantasy vibe overwhelmed Jack.

He had to admit he was rather grateful it wasn't a frilly girls room. Instead it was practical in its design. The furniture was beautiful however functional. There were a few artistically placed weapons on the walls that were somehow blended aesthetically with flowers growing from notches in the walls.

AS the girls showed Sam the new bathroom jack took a walk around the room. As he turned the corner around the large bed his eye sockets widened in shock as the most terrifying sight he could imagine greeted him. His wicker dog bed sat there with a large pink bow on the side.

'Seriously! I'm not a pet!'