Chapter 21: Thanatophobia
Thanatophobia: commonly referred to as the fear of death. More specifically, it can be a fear of death or a fear of the dying process. It's natural for someone to worry about their own health as they age.
So in other words it is perfectly natural to be scared of death, because you do NOT know how you will die. You could fall from a 25 story building, get grounded up by a wood chipper, or HELL get assassinated by a group of furries idk. In the end it is all up to you but for right now you ARE alive so just take a seat back and read the new chapter of 1000 Ways To Dieeeeeee.
Date: 07-17-2005
Location: Los Angeles, CA
A group of young Asian American teens formed a club called the Samurai Death Squad, which included activities like two people jousting from separate cars dressed as samurai. Two men were performing the joust when one of them, called Beserko, impaled his sword into other one's shoulder, called "Knock" Amora. With a useless shoulder, "Knock" Amora attempts to retaliate against Beserko. His revenge was more than what he bargained for, for he had accidentally impaled/stabbed Beserko in the eye, resulting in death by massive hemorrhaging in the brain.
Way To Die #198: Samurai Death Squad
Date: 01-08-1992
Location: Fort Worth, TX
Heather, an uber-bitchy, mean-spirited office manager treats her employees the way she always does. One day, she gets inside an elevator with her employees. However the elevator gets stuck, and Heather gets claustrophobic and desperately wants to be out of the elevator. In attempt to get out, the other employees pry open the doors to let her out. As Heather is climbing out fate steps away, the elevator's hydraulic brakes fail and the elevator proceeds to descend, crushing Heather's abdomen/bisecting her, and she dies. Final Destination Vibes Anyone?
Way To Die #856: See You Later Elevator
Date: 07-01-2004
Location: Idaho Falls, ID
Dickie and his friend Donnie smoke on his porch, and Donnie repeatedly asks him for cigarettes, not paying up for his own. Eventually, Dickie gets fed up, loads some cigarettes into a shotgun shell, and fires them at his friend's face once Donnie gets drunk as a practical joke. Unfortunately, the cigarettes get lodged in Donnie's face and brain, killing him. Short And Sweet And Bloody.
Way To Die #343: Smoked
Date: 07-19-2001
Location: San Pedro, CA
A former pilot and current public nuisance named John Watson flies an RC glider. He keeps riding it into other people and keeps messing around with them. He eventually flies it into the direction of the sun, losing view of it. Since he is so drunk, he does not notice it comes back behind him, which impales him through his chest, killing him within seconds and putting his disturbingly drunken antics to a high and painful end. Imagine Getting Your Heart Stabbed By a Model Plane.
God: So Young Man/Woman How Did You Die?
You: I Sorta Had a Model Plane Stab Into My Heart.
God: You FUCKING DUMBASS Hahahaha
Way To Die #413: Just Plane Dead
Date: 10-19-1995
Location: Orlando, FL
Mark is a cruel husband married to a much nicer woman named Julie, who he yells at when she doesn't have dinner ready for him. A month later, Julie has left Mark and is dating a much nicer guy. After a buddy tips off Mark about the date, he pulls up at the restaurant, waiting outside with a paintball gun to pelt the couple when they leave out and make a quick getaway. Mark reverses his car against a back wall to hide and eventually begins to feel lightheaded, his vision blurs and is on the verge of passing out. Mark had unknowingly parked the car's tailpipe into a pile of trash and left the engine running in order to make his getaway. With the windows closed and the tailpipe plugged, the car became filled with deadly carbon monoxide. Mark lost consciousness and died from asphyxiation, sending him straight to hell.
Way To Die #108: Ass-phyxiated Pt-2: Car-boned
Date: 08-11-2004
Location: St. Paul, MN
Marnie, desperate for a job, reluctantly takes a position of a dog walker, but she hated dogs. On the way to the dog park, she grew frustrated with her dogs, but her constant nagging towards them is making them behave poorly. When she finally got them to the park, the dogs have had enough of her terrible attitude and decided to literally drag her across the ground. Unable to break free from the many leashes tied to her wrist, Marnie could do nothing but watch before she collided head-on to a tree, damaging her temporal lobe. Whether or not you believe in things like fate or destiny, Marnie's unfortunate demise certainly gives one...paws.
Way To Die #227: Ruffed Up
Date: 08-19-2001
Location: Detroit, MI
Moose is a famous male biker in a bar. Unfortunately, he is also an extremely sexist pervert. During his time at the bar, he shows off his own stunts. First he makes several advances towards a member of the Strokers, a group of strippers performing on stage. Then he takes his advances one step too far by stealing one of the stripper's bras. Shocked and enraged, another one of the Strokers punches Moose in the face, knocking him to the floor like a sack of potatoes. After that, Moose is then trampled to death by a several of his fellow bikers to check out the now topless stripper.
Way To Die #115: Lady & The Trampled
Date: 05-14-2000
Location: Brooklyn, NY
Patrick is at an art auction, harassing and hitting on all of the girls there. When he takes it too far with one girl, she slaps him, knocking him to the floor and hitting his chest. Patrick had fibrodysplasia ossificans progressive (FOP), a disorder that causes bones, muscles, and other tissues to scar. The impact with the ground caused scarred tissue in his lungs to break off and go into his heart. Patrick struggles to get up before suffering massive cardiac arrest and dying, sending him straight to hell.
Way To Die #703: Stone Hard
Death Counter: 👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻 8 Dead Mother Fuckers.