Soulmate Matter

"A soulmate is an ongoing connection with another individual that the soul picks up again at various times and places over lifetimes. We are attracted to another person at a soul level not because that person is our unique complement, but because by being with that individual, we are somehow provided with an impetus to become whole ourselves."

– Edgar Cayce

Christmas went by stealthily. The celebrations were joyful and exciting as usual with my mom's characteristic plum cake, dad's beautiful gifts, Liya's carol songs, and Diya's outstanding Christmas decoration. I only watched what they did, silently. This time Jimin was there of course and he looked around everything with wide eyes. He was sad for some reason and I knew why after guessing for a while; he missed his family and above all, his members. They'd tweeted on Twitter that a Christmas without him was incomplete. I only watched when he eagerly witnessed us exchanging gifts. I felt bad for him, overly. But I couldn't do anything, or so I thought. I knew how much he liked to give and receive gifts at important celebrations and occasions. So, at night, I gave him a present. It was just a charm bracelet and by the looks of it, he loved it. He'd tried rejecting it at first but I gave him my stare and he obliged.

My father departed for London the next day early morning. I drove him to the airport and we bid goodbyes. Jimin decided to follow me as always and was sitting in the passenger seat while I was driving back home peacefully enjoying the morning beauty of nature.

"Mornings in here are very beautiful", Jimin beamed looking outside.

"It sure is," I smiled as the morning breeze hit my cheeks.

I felt someone staring at me and I turned to Jimin, indeed he was staring at me.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing," he shook his head with a smile, "I'd always admired girls who can drive. Besides, you look hot when you drive".

"Am I supposed to blush to that?" I raised an eyebrow stopping at a signal, "And how can someone look hot when they drive?"

"I don't know," he shrugged cutely, "You should maybe watch me drive?"

"Haha," I laughed sarcastically, "Very funny but as expected from a libra"

"Aish, you always mock me calling me libra," he puffed out his chipmunk cheeks, "What's your zodiac?"

"You don't need to know," I said looking straight ahead.

"Why?!" he whined, "Am I not allowed to know the zodiac of my soulmate?"

My hands tensed on the steering wheel and my knuckles turned white. I turned quiet and I was struggling with the tension in the air. I was not a bit comfortable with the topic.

Jimin sensed it too. He looked outside and quieted down.

The rest of the journey was calm.

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"I'm bored" I was hearing that for the past two hours now from Jimin.

I was reading a book by leaning on the headboard of my bed. It's afternoon and I've only just returned after lunch. Jimin read one of the books I bought him then got bored. He played games on my phone then got bored. He listened to some songs with earbuds on then got bored. He laid on the ground staring up at the ceiling then he got bored. He has done so many things then got bored. Finally now, he was playing with Sunhee but she slept clutching into his chest then AGAIN he got freaking bored!

"Do something else then, Jimin" I sighed for the nth time.

"I don't have anything to do!" he exclaimed climbing into the bed with Sunhee.

"You are annoying me, you know?" I mumbled.

"I know," he smiled innocently.

I buried my head into the book again.

After a moment, I felt a certain weight on my lap. I looked down and saw that Jimin had laid his head on my lap cuddling with a sleeping Sunhee on his chest who was a ball of fur.

"What are you doing?" I asked raising an eyebrow.

"Play with my hair," he said opening his eyes and looking up at me with a pout when all I did was stare at him, "Please..." he pouted with puppy eyes.

I sighed deeply and reached out one of my hands to run it through his surprisingly soft chocolate brown hair. I had the book in my other hand and I tried my level best to concentrate on it, urging me not to look at his face. But it was washed ashore when I heard a satisfying hum from him as soon as my hand touched his scalp. I continued brushing his hair off his forehead and running it through his hair.

"Now this is good," he hummed sinking further into my lap.

I willed myself to concentrate on the book but it always shifted into his handsome face. He was ethereal with that small smile on his face. I shook my head and concentrated back to the book.

"Mia?" he called lazily.

"Hm," I hummed.

"Can I ask you something?" he asked slowly.

"Hm," I hummed again.

"Do you not like that...that I'm your soulmate?" he asked.

My hand froze.

There was complete silence as I contemplated what to say.

He slowly opened his eyes and turned around to fully face me. He stared at me patiently waiting for me to say something. I failed to form sentences let alone think about what to say. It was soon, too soon. I looked away miserably avoiding eye contact. My poker face and unbothered facade long lost and gone.

I saw him sitting up and placing Sunhee on the bed. He moved closer to me and gently grabbed my chin, and turned my face to meet his eyes.

"Look at me," he whispered as he stared deep into my orbs, "Please tell me. I want to know".

I felt helpless actually. I don't want to tell him, I really don't want to. He would never understand too even if I say.

"Can we not talk about this?" I asked looking away from him gently pushing his hand away.

"Why?!" he exclaimed now clearly frustrated, "Is it because I'm not good enough for you? I clearly think it-"

"NO!" I shook my head vigorously, "It's-

"No, I really think that's the-"

"It's that I'm not good enough for you" I whispered bowing my head.

"What?" he looked taken aback and surprised.

I sighed, "Do you really think that I would expect the Park Jimin, the heartthrob of millions of girls all around the world to be my soulmate, an overly ugly normal girl who doesn't even have any friends nor have any emotions to consider human?" I questioned out loud raising my voice a little, "We are completely opposite, Jimin. Almost like two poles of a magnet. Whatever they said would never work out, this..." I gestured between both of us, "...is some sort of mistake. Someone messed up at the top".

Jimin stared at me wide-eyed. His eyes saddened and disappointment was clear on his face.

"You should be disappointed and disgusted, Jimin, that you got an ugly and untalented girl like me as a soulmate. You deserve someone better than me, way better than me." I said with sympathy for myself and him.

"Mia, you are not-"

"Jimin, let's drop this," I said moving away from him, "Don't talk about this soulmate stuff. My greatest priority now is to get you back to your body. I'll always be there for you as a good friend. Soulmate necessarily doesn't mean to be romantically involved, friendship evolves from it too. Let's concentrate on you going back"

Jimin stared blankly at me with an unexplainable expression then he nodded his head with a smile and thumbs, which was 100% fake.

"Thank you," I whispered with a smile.

I pulled him into a hug seeing his pained expression. He hugged me back tightly pulling me close to him. I caressed his back a little, deep down not wanting to let go of this warmth and his sweet scent which I was inhaling then.

"I'm sorry for pressing you" he mumbled.

"It's alright," I smiled into his shoulder, "You understood, right?"

He nodded.

I hope everything will be alright but I was wrong again.

Everything is not gonna be alright for a while.