Our Tears

"Our soul... direct us to individuals who share our purpose in life, complement our strengths, and supplement our weaknesses. But there is no guarantee that these ideal mates are going to look the way we expect, or be of our own background."

– Carolyn Miller

"Jimin wouldn't want you to cry, Taehyung-ssi," I rubbed the crying Taehyung's back comfortingly.

"I...can't-" he sobbed into my shoulder.

We were standing before the lifeless form of Jimin. The room was pale, cold, and distant almost like every single cell of life had been taken away from there. Jimin's body laid there clad in bandages and tubes all over his body. To be exact, there was a bandage around his head, his chest, forearm, legs, and...I couldn't even count anymore. There were faded purple bruises on his hands and face. He looked so vulnerable and weak with dry chapped lips also taking his dead strands of black hair into account. As I stared at him an unknown tear went down my cheek. I was surprised myself when I caught small drops of tears rolling down my cheeks stealthily.

I couldn't see him like that; my legs weakened and my heart's chambers tightened around my sternum. I gritted my teeth and clenched my fist. I wanted to walk away so badly but Taehyung was worse than me and I couldn't leave him alone.

I turned my head away but I wished I shouldn't have.

The Jimin stood there with a frozen expression. Tears filled his pretty eyes and dripped down his soft cheeks in thick streams. I could say he was in immense pain seeing his own body lying there...almost dead. I wanted to go hug him and never let go. I wanted to soothe him with comforting words and say that everything is gonna be fine. But I couldn't as I watched him crumble.

His gaze caught mine. He gave me a helpless and pained look before dashing out.

I took a step to follow him but was reminded of the head on my shoulder.

"Taehyung-ssi," I called as he lifted his head to look down at me, "Let's go outside"

He took a glance at Jimin's body and nodded.

I looked at the same and wiped my tears.

I'm never gonna come here again. Sorry, Jimin, I am not.

I can't stand this.

We left the ward and walked towards the entrance of the hospital while Taehyung put on his face mask.

"You okay?" he asked me, his voice hoarse.

"That question itself is irrelevant here," I scoffed, "No, I'm not"

"I know, everyone keeps asking that useless question" he sighed.

"Don't you have to go home or something?" I asked as we stopped at the entrance and turned to face each other.

"There is no point going back because everything and everyone is retarded after Jimin's like this" he mumbled, "What about you? Where do you live? I can drop you there"

"No need," I waved the offer away immediately, "It's only a walk away"

"Did you come all the way from India just to see him?" he asked wide-eyed.

"Maybe?" I shrugged seeming genuine.

"Woah! Really?" now he's overly surprised, "Your Korean is pretty good. How did you learn it and oh how did you two meet?"

Oh, what am I supposed to say to that?

"Well, that's the story for another day," I winked playfully.

"Okay," he nodded his head a little uncertain, "Can I get your number?" I raised an eyebrow to which he shook his head, "So that you can tell me that story?"

"Okay" I took the phone from his hand and typed my number, "And we probably won't meet again. I'll go back after a couple of days. Can't stay forever"

Lies lies~

"Oh, are you alone?" he asked taking his phone back.

"Yep," I said yet another lie smoothly.

"Thank you for uh you know for comforting me," he rubbed his neck awkwardly.

"It's alright," I pulled on a smile, "I can imagine being in your place. Just try to be strong because he doesn't want you to be like this. Everything happens for a reason, Taehyung-ssi. Trust me, he'll wake up soon and you guys will slay the world again, together. Wait until then, he'll definitely wake up"

"I think so too" he nodded smiling, "I'll pray for him to wake up and cuddle with me"

I chuckled a little. Just like Jimin told me about him.

Speaking of Jimin, where is he?

"What's wrong?" Taehyung noticed my frown.

"Oh I just want to go back home," I said.

"Okay, see you aah..." he gestured to his phone, "through phone?"

"Yeah," I chuckled at his innocent face, "Take care of yourself and stay strong" I gave him a salute walking backward.

"Thanks. You too, " he smiled waving, "It was nice talking to you"

"My honor," I bowed and walked away in search of my ticket back home.

It took almost ages for me to find Jimin. He was standing with his back against a wall where we'd been teleported. I sighed in relief and walked towards him. He didn't even look up when I stood next to him in the same position as him. There was silence in the air but he decided to break it after some sickening time.

"I look terrible, don't I?" he asked his eyes covered by his bangs.

"Totally," there is no point in lying.

He chuckled bitterly, "What did I expect?"

"Don't be like tha-"

"Then what should I be like?!" he shouted suddenly at my face making me flinch. He sighed angrily and grabbed my shoulders, "Why do you keep flinching for every single thing? " His eyes were red from crying and anger, I think. He is absolutely scary when he is angry with his clenched teeth and the popped-out veins on his neck. He stared into my eyes demanding an answer from me.

"Jimin, calm down," I said calmly.

"Why? Why should I calm down huh? I am gonna die anyway" he scoffed looking around.

"Don't say that!" I scolded.

"Didn't you see me lying there?!" he shouted pointing towards the hospital, "Do you expect me to survive that? There is not even a single place where there is no bandage. I'm literally dead," he pulled his hair in frustration.

"Jimin, look at me" I demanded.

"I'm making everyone suffer. Why can't I just die?" he didn't even pay attention to me and kept blabbering.

"I said look at me!" I lost my temper.

He widened his eyes and turned towards me. His whole attention on me.

"You are not gonna die," I said sternly and determined, "Like I always say, not under my watch."

"But Mia-"

"No! Whatever you are gonna say, NO," I said with the same fierceness, "All your loved ones have faith in you and are waiting for you to wake up. Is this how you act when clearly you can do it? Why are you disappointing them? Why are you disappointing me?"

His eyes widened even more. He shook his head and stepped towards me.

I held up my hand, "Jimin, I'm trying all my best to get you back to your body. If you don't want it just say. I can't do this anymore. Whatever I'm doing it's supposed to be done together. I'm trying to build confidence and willpower inside you to wake up. Please understand me."

Only when Jimin's eyes widened to a terrible size did I realize that I was crying, again.

"I want you to live," I mumbled tears still falling down, "I can't watch you die. You mean a lot to me, Jimin. Please try for...m-me" I choked on my words when a sob escaped.

My legs weakened when my heart clenched inside my sternum painfully and I squat down on the ground. I hadn't cried for two years. Yeah, it's true. I hadn't cried after what happened 2 years ago and had vowed not to cry. Guess it's broken now.

Suddenly a pair of hands wrapped around my crying form and pulled me into its chest. Jimin held me tightly while I broke down clutching his shirt. I vent out the sorrows that I built up inside for years as I sobbed hard. All the walls I built around myself crumpled down in front of Jimin and I didn't know I'd cry that hard. I'm letting myself show my vulnerable side to him, I knew, but at the moment I didn't care. Jimin caressed my hair soothing me down and whispered 'sorry's. I guessed he was lowkey crying too also I guess I have to cry sometimes because it'll come down like this if I don't; like a waterfall or a broken dam or something.

I opened my eyes and saw that we'd reached back home. I'd not noticed Jimin taking my hand in between my savage crying. I was ashamed to look at Jimin after what happened. I should have been a mess right now, all the crying might have made me even more dirty and ugly.

But Jimin raised my face to meet his weekly smiling one. I stared at him as he cupped my tear-stained cheeks and gently wiped the tears away with the pads of his thumb. He pulled a strand of hair out of my face and put it behind my ear. He caressed my cheek and stared into my eyes as if trying to figure the real me out. I reached out and wiped a stray tear out of his cheek before he held my hand and guided it back to his cheek, placing my palm over it and his hand stayed top of mine. I felt his cold skin under mine and it calmed me to an extent that I can never explain.

We stared into each other, no words exchanged. I think the mental battle of his died down when he took a shaky breath. His hand over mine was sweating and I wondered why after sensing his body tensing.

"Mia," he breathed, "I always wanted to tell you this. I can't hide it from you anymore, so please hear me out. Before you came into my life, I'd no purpose for living, other than my members and of course my fans. I was happy to live for them and, I was ready to sacrifice and give my everything for them. But it all shattered down when I heard about a death threat towards me. I'd got death threats before and I had ignored that but this one weakened me to the bone. They said I don't have any talent and I should quit BTS so that I won't be any burden for them. It broke my heart very much because I'm a person who gives my everything when I do something. Hearing that I'm talentless and a sidekick...I couldn't take it. Yeah, of course, the members and managers told me to not mind it but how can I not, it was directed to me," a tear rolled down his cheek as he inhaled, "That night, the night when the accident happened... well, I've seen the truck coming towards me. I really had a chance to serve and escape but I didn't. The death threats and the reasons filled my head and I... I actually saw the truck hit the car right before my eyes. I am the cause of my state now" he finished and looked away.

A loud slap echoed throughout my room.

Yes, I slapped him.

Right on his cheek.

"I guess I deserved that," he simply bowed his head.

"You guess?!" I hissed as I glared at him, "What got into you, huh? Were you out of your mind?"

"I was," he cupped my cheeks, "I'm sorry. I regret it now," he said genuinely, staring into my eyes.

"You regretting it doesn't make anything right, Jimin" I sighed rubbing my forehead, "I thought that it was the damn truck driver, now you really disappointed me, Jimin"

"I know, please forgive me, Mia" he pleaded, taking both my hands.

"I don't forgive people easily," I said without any emotions, "The same goes for you" I loosened his grip on my hands and stood up but he caught my wrist, turning me around to face him.

"Tell me, " he urged now standing up before me, "What should I do so that you'll forgive me?"

"Help me search to uncover something out," I said, a new mission forming in my head.

"Uncover what?" he frowned.

"Your accident," I said, "Now that you tell me, something about it doesn't seem right"

I don't think it was just an accident.

Detective side of Mia...on duty!