The Knots

Spade was very much satisfied with Serenica's negotiating skills as Innai agreed to spare some wood for their mast on the condition that the promise would be fulfilled and some food would be given to soothe the dreadful boredom of eating fish. Serenica watched their men take down a massive old tree and start the somewhat witchy repair process, but she couldn't be bothered with the details. She kept wondering about what Innai had meant and what supposed sins his daughter had committed to be punished so. She did know, though, that there was a secret space within her that had always made her feel like a total stranger, even with friends and family, like she was somehow more or less human than others. She couldn't name the feeling, she only knew she had always been full of primordial rage that had been there since the days when the earth was young.

Finally, she did think herself a fool for such pompous ideas, and so she went to help Spade patch up the mast. She had never heard of this method, but the transfer of the injury their poor mast had taken into the fallen giant of a tree was strangely familiar after the nearly telepathic exchange of emotion with the old man.

The captain rubbed something sticky on the splintered part that didn't look all that bad. Gadfly said it could have killed multiple men any minute. Serenica didn't doubt him.

On Spade's orders, she ran with an axe and a hasty contract to the tree, rubbed the glue-like substance on the sharp edge of the axe and put all her strength behind the swing. She chopped off several pieces of wood before she was stopped by the Admiral.

"Relax, Ingram! Spade says the mast will be too stiff if you chop off more. The transfer has already been done."

She could barely concentrate on anything. The earth could have shook and the sea could have turned yet, and she would still have had those thoughts, the ones that couldn't be put into words.

She knew the captain would be suspicious after the little chat with Innai and she had no intention to go into detail for him. It wasn't his business. Serenica did have her doubts about whether Spade would even have cared.

"You know, I can see that there's something going on, you don't have to confirm or deny anything," the captain finally said as they were finishing off the tree. It was already badly splintered by Serenica's doing, but there could be no faults in their mast if they intended to make it to Aja Vana. They made the surface just perfect by scratching the tree so that the mast would see it fit to be smooth.

"That's good, because I'm not sharing what he said to me," Serenica said.

A flask dropped from Spade's pocket. She picked it up and looked at him questioningly.

He nodded. "I'm truly not interested. As long as it doesn't harm me, my wife or the boys."

"It could harm me," Serenica said and took a swig. The liquid turned out to be rum, unsurprisingly.

"For that, I come prepared. You have a strange energy about you. I don't know if it's lucky or unlucky."

They set sail and Serenica waited for the bookkeeper to come continue their conversation and perhaps keep the promise of a mighty payment in advance. To her chagrin, Myorka wouldn't come visit her yet, it was as if the woman had become ashamed of her revelation.

John Longlines, or Little John, as he was called nowadays, was acting strangely. He had been ordered to make a few knots and proceeded to tie the ropes in such loose curls that his efforts caused a direct danger to Gadfly, who had taken to physically being on the rigging to ensure the repaired mast functioned perfectly. Little John took a lot of blame for it, after all, the boatswain could have died. Ropes were a most serious thing.

"Peek inside his tiny brain and tell us what you find," Gadfly said to Serenica, chewing tobacco in his mouth, jaws masticating continuously in a stressful motion cycle that even made his forehead crumple with worry at times. "I reckon the captain won't like it if the singing songbird kicks the bucket."

"And why would he kick the bucket?" Serenica asked. "Is he afflicted with scurvy? I have seen him eat fruit before. It can't be scurvy."

"I've heard him use the loo. No solid matter at all. Excuse me. You're disgusted, aren't you. The truth is, though, it is just liquid."

Something about poor cognitive function and diarrhea combined rang a bell and Serenica got really worried really quick. She had to examine their informant thoroughly.

Pity the informant didn't feel the same. He denied any and all attempts to bring him to Serenica's workspace, even threatening to withhold his services as a rat.

"I'm sorry, I can't help you," the captain said to her. "If you're not intimidating enough, no one will be. If he's sick, he'll sing anyway. Once he's dead. Don't bother me until then."

Days passed by and Serenica started to finally find some semblance of a routine in the life of pirates and deadrousers. If she wasn't given the night watch, she would wake up around sunrise, smoke a very small pipeful and then receive patients. There was always something. If it wasn't Gadfly, whose knee had taken a turn for the worse, it was one of the original Johns who were self-conscious about their scurvy-ridden smiles, or Seppei with his warts, or Myorka who only gave her bits and pieces of information and wanted to talk about the essence of womanhood, or it could very well be Spade himself, fishing for any words that might indicate deadly diseases. The captain really wanted to die, that's what she thought, but she did her best to keep him alive, too.

After working she would join the crew for lunch and steal glances from the bookkeeper, who clearly wanted to do something about her situation but was somehow unable to do so. They had to cast their eyes back into the spicy soup they were served daily in order to avoid making everything even more awkward.

The evening was full of work, too, but she found it more relaxing to be actually able to help. The men would come to her for a chat, maybe there was nothing outright wrong with them, but they still needed healing, as many of those who lived violent lives carried violence inside them forever.

Serenica slept like a baby knowing she had killed a man.