Man Overboard

Serenica didn't get the chance to sleep for long. Another storm was brewing behind them, this time a natural one, but fierce enough to cause the boatswain to scream about full sails and fuller speed.

The amount of knots they used to measure how fast they could get away from the treacherous winds and waves was significantly more than the amount they currently had going on for them.

"The mast is in a great condition and I am not worried for the ship," Gadfly said. "It's the men. Anyone might fall overboard, so, Surmica and -"

"Serenica," Serenica said. "It's Serenica. Do you happen to have a speech impediment?"

"You shouldn't make fun of him," the Admiral said, but he was laughing and definitely making fun of the boatswain. "He has drunk more in tankards of ale than you have drunk in cups of water, and he still gets our Princess to sail smoothly like a dolphin. I'd suggest you take it easy when he fails in niceties like pronouncing a name."

"He hasn't called you Silliam, has he?" Serenica asked.

The first mate shook his head. "What Gadfly was about to say before we started talking about semantic issues was that you and Myorka better make him happy and stay below. We don't want any men overboard, and we sure don't want any women to fall there, either."

"The water belongs to the dead," Serenica agreed.

"I don't want to talk about it, not after a glass of wine, not after a bottle, heck, I don't want to discuss it after drinking a whole tavern dry," Myorka said, more towards the curtains than towards Serenica.

They were once again sharing wine in the cabin. Serenica was draped in a highly fashionable shawl the bookkeeper had given her. She couldn't tell if the original owner was the wife or the captain.

"We'll have to figure out something to make the memory of it less painful," Serenica said. "Maybe the paw could help."

Myorka snarled. "Spade's going to hate it if I smoke the paw. He wants me to steer clear of those piratical habits."

"You're his wife, you have the power to make your own decisions," Serenica reminded her friend.

The ship rocked and they spilled some wine on the carpet.

"I do. I know." The bookkeeper hesitated. "But what if one time isn't enough? It's like those thoughts are locked away from me, inside me, yes, but beyond my access. If they don't come up on the first try, we might need another...and another..."

"That is exactly why it might be therapeutic. You are so incredibly stressed out by the mere thought. Look, you are trembling." Serenica pointed to Myorka's left hand that was holding the goblet. Indeed, it was shaking a little.

"I don't want you to feel bothered," Serenica continued. "If you feel cravings after we have managed it, you can drink them away. It's not what I normally recommend, but it might work. Believe me, the last thing I want for you is a career in substance abuse. The fact that you seem like the most resilient person aboard this wretched vessel is why I am suggesting -"

Someone came banging on the door with as least as much force behind them as the storm had in its watery thrusts.

"What is it, mother of worms?" The bookkeeper muttered a dozen more curses and opened the door.

Seppei, wild-eyed and panicked, was barely keeping up with the motions of the ocean below, as much of a sailor as he was.

"Gadfly fell. We just fished him back up. He ain't responding."

The boatswain was lying on the deck, seemingly lifeless, held in place by four men. Serenica knew from experience how heavy unconscious people could be.

She searched her brain for answers. The life force didn't escape instantly from the drowned. It took some time. Maybe there was a way to bring Gadfly back. Spade was looking at her demandingly. This was her moment, her time to raise the dead.

Serenica didn't know anything about drowning, though.

She opened her trusted book of healing and looked for the letter D. The words about saving drowned people were very confusing. There were no other methods given for resuscitation.

"The deceased can be awoken with a refreshing blow of tobacco smoke into the rear end," she read aloud. She wanted to make her intentions clear. If she didn't, there was a sizable chance of some men attacking her.

"Smoke up his butt?" the first mate asked.

Serenica was in no way prepared to do that. She read more, and it became apparent that the benefits of the method were entirely based on the way smoke was absorbed by different parts of the body. A lungful of the very same smoke could have sufficed if and only if the boatswain didn't have too much water inside him.

Serenica had to kiss Gadfly.

"This is worth a shot," she said to convince both herself and the others. "Not breathing. Can't feel the pulse. I am not going to touch his rear, we are both too honorable for that. I'll have to use my mouth to get smoke into his lungs. Some tobacco, please."

The men looked relieved and shocked at the same time.

Serenica loaded the pipe pressing furiously on the little balls of tobacco to get a smoke as thick as possible. "Someone could help me hold his head straight."

She lit the pipe.

She took a few quick puffs in order to get the fire raging inside the little bowl of the pipe. When it was glowing evenly in the dark, rainy air, she took a mouthful of the smoke, even allowing it to enter her lungs. She bent down and put her lips on Gadfly's gaping mouth. The familiar smell of yeast and liquor hit her, and she thought that she did understand Spade better by now. She, too, wanted to die just a little right now.

She pushed everything she had inside her lungs, throat and mouth into Gadfly, holding his nose.

At first, nothing happened and Serenica feared that all the humiliation had been in vain. She retreated, ready to cover her face in shame. This man was the last person she had wanted to kiss.

Then Gadfly twitched and began to throw up and cough water. He raised his arms, as if he was trying to grab a hold of something. He got up on all fours and threw up some more.

Serenica snatched her pipe and backed off. She had no intention to reveal to the boatswain what terrible methods she had used in reviving him.