Processing

Its Almost 1 pm and im still in my room. I didn't step out of my room since last night i don't feel like it because i don't know how to act. I don't know what Im feeling right now.. Hurt, Mad, Angry or Confused. I guess im feeling the mixture of all.

I always knew that im going to have an arrange marriage and i was okay with it Because when you know something from the beginning of your life you'll get used to It and accept it. Yes if i had the choice i would love to First fall in love with someone and then marry him but i never had that choice and it was fine.

But i can't believe what's happening right now i never thought it will happen that way. Asking for my permission or my opinion and Ask to be is so far away they didn't even tell me about it. My grandpa and dad are politicians they are very well known. Every time whatever i did or whatever i do before doing it i have to think 100 times in two hundred ways and see if its affecting my grandpa and dad's reputation in any way if it does then i wont do it.

We dont do this to save our grandpa and dad's image in public or in media. We do this because it's our family values. My grandpa says no matter how modern and famous you became always remember where you belong and always remember your roots they are the foundation of your life and the wings of your future.

Godd my head hurts so bad with all these endless thinking. I snapped out of my thought when hear a knock on the door.

"Its open" i said.

I saw Sartaj and salman coming in. They already came here earlier. Sartaj is here for third time and Salman second time only this time they came together.

"Cmon now stop being sad type!! It doesn't suit you." Salman told me as soon as he entered

"Yes he is right. It makes you look more ugly" sartaj said when i didnt say anything he continues "no reaction, matter seems serious. Maybe little food can help"

"No im not hungry. You guys go eat" i told them lay down

"We are not leaving without you Listen we understand what you feeling but its not the end of world-" Sartaj didn't let salman finish and start to speak

"Again! Salman is right! And why are you being all sad and worry Faiz is the one who should be!!" I glared at him he stopped for a sec and continue Again

"I mean he have to Deal with you.. You!! For the rest of his life. Allah give him strength Poor Faiz" sartaj finished talking

And salman and sartaj burst into laugh. Seeing them laughing i can't control anymore i start to laugh too. We were laughing.

"Right don't think too much okay. There's a lot of time it will be okay!!" Salman said and hugged me

I hope he is right. It felt nice everyone around me telling me relax and give it a time telling me its gonna be okay and i find myself wanting to believe in those because these are the people whom i trust most.

"Oh!! If your sister-brother loving scene is over can we go and eat now? Im starving" Sartaj parted us from hug and grabbed our arms.

"Yeah lets go" Salman announced

We went downstairs and sit in the dining area.

"Akbar bring the food!!!" Salman called for our servant. Akbar brought the food and we served ourselves well my brothers served me and themselves. We start to eat and having polite conversations with each other.

"Akbarrr!! Gafoorrr!! Allah it seems all the servants died or went on vacations" my grandmother came screaming like always

Here comes the ruiner. Right now im not in mood to talking to her after knowing that she is the reason why my engagement announced in such rush

"you are eating. Sahiba hows your head? " grandma asked

"Im fine" i replied without looking up

Yeah im fine every fine thanks to you grandma. I know she don't want bad for me and care about me but some how she just end up doing what i really don't want.

"What happened?? You want anything Ammi?" My mother came and asked to grandma of course she heard her yelling at the servants

"Where are the servants?? Now they cant even do my little work i told them to bring me the water in my room and they didn't and where were you?" grandma told my mom

Mom went to the kitchen and bring the water in a glass for grandma.

"Here!! Servants are busy with the guests and i was in the room making calls and have to do a lot of preparation for tomorrow night " my mom

Tomorrow night please don't even remind me.

"I order some jewellery. Salman after you finish your lunch go to the jewellery shop they will give jewellery" mom told salman

"Okay" salman agreed to go

We finish eating salman left, me and sartaj went to upstairs and sat there i watching every one doing their works i saw heena coming. She sit down with us

"Hey guys" heena said to us

"Ohh look who's here.. soon to be bride!!" Sartaj joked we start to laugh.

"Yeah yeah very funny" heena said

Right, i totally forgot that With my engagement announcement my father also announced Heena and Aadil's marriage is few months away.

"Sartaj come down your father is calling you! !!!" Mom called Sartaj from downstairs so he went.

"So you decide what you're going to wear tomorrow night?" Heena asked as she sit closer to me

"I don't care" i answered annoyingly

"Oh c'mon you always enjoy weddings and wedding related functions!!" Heena said

"Yeah but turned out it comes to mine own it totally opposite. You decide i'll wear it" i said looking at her

"You really trust me alot"

"You're realising this now"

"Faiz beta come sit" i heard my grandmother saying

What? Faiz? I look down it was faiz he was standing there with something in his hand. I dont know why but I feel so akward i don't even know what he thinks about the engagement. Did He knew about the engagement before its announced or he didn't?

"Sahiba??" Heena called pulling my hand

"Hmm? Wh-what?" I said looking at her

"What happened? What are you thinking about??" Heena asked me

I look at faiz and said "about us. Its feels so weird saying... Us. me and Him.. us"

Faiz look up at me And i start to think about everything again. How this is gonna work me, him, this engagement, marriage how?

"Let's go in the room!!" Heena told me and we came in my room.

"How are you feeling?" I asked heena about her getting married in upcoming months.

"I don't know.. scared, anxious and not very excited but i saw it coming so im okay" she sighed

"And how's Farhan?"

This is the exact part where i didnt support their relationships at the beginning because i didn't see no furture of their relationship they both ending up with different people and most of them i was really afraid how they'll handle the Heena's marriage part. I'm relieved they're not acting out.

"He says what's gonna happened after marriage and im gonna die without you.. You know same as always" heena replied

Yeah farhan is a drama queen he always been. I mean he always knew that heena is going to marry Aadil but he is gonna die now its a lil funny.

"Yeah he loves to do the drama about everything. Seriously sometimes i question myself that why my best friend is doing with that idiot" i said me and heena burst into laugh.

"I know but he is really good person and he loves me" heena said trying to control her laughter

In evening my mom called some mehandi (Henna) Artists. Tomorrow is engagement so havd to apply henna on my hands because its our tradition. Relatives came but only our close ones because it was not a grand function just family ladies from my mom and dad's side came.

Faiz's family was here too but faiz's was not because he is not allowed to. Gents are in different rooms. Everyone was enjoying it. But i wasn't. A smile come on my face when i saw Rihana Masi.

"Hello my beautiful baby! Im sorry i left without telling you last. Your head was hurting so i thought you should rest" masi said

"No masi its okay. God i even know whats happening yesterday i was so happy and enjoying eid but tomorrow im going to be engaged ugh" i told masi

"I know honey but it is what it is so now cheer up. Time can heal and recover everything give it a little time so you can understand everything can accept this" Rihanna really understand me

Finally it was over and when i went to sleep i look at my hand they are covered with henna designs on it. Day passed With counting the minutes and hours its been a long day tomorrow im going to be engaged officially engaged. Allah i hope i can do this.