Chapter 4: I hate these colours

Lilly went home in distress. She couldn’t get the woman's voice out of her head. She had never heard anyone sound so sad and deeply hurt.

She couldn’t imagine what her patient had gone through. She didn’t even want to put herself in her place because it was so traumatic.

She skipped her dinner as she couldn’t find it in her heart to eat. Her mind was filled with the 8 year old, starving and hurt by the people that was supposed to protect her.

The next morning Lilly went to see her patient. She bought a small box of pizza and a slice of cake for her. The minute she entered room 4011, the scrumptious smell wafted to the nose of the woman sitting cross legged on her bed, her head buried in her sketch book.

The woman’s action ceased for a second before it was resumed again.

“You don’t have to do this Lilly.”

Lilly was stunned for a second before she got hold of herself. It was the first time she called her by her name.

“I have enough money now to buy a bakery or two.” The woman continued drawing with her head tilted.

“I wanted to bring this for you as a gesture of goodwill, nothing else.” Lilly responded, her voice composed.

The patient raised her eyes at her scrutinizing her. After several seconds of awkward silence, the patient lighted nodded her head once.

Lilly placed the delicious food on the table, “Why don’t you don’t join me here?”

Hearing no reply and seeing she proudly ignored her, Lilly pursed her lips and handed her a paper plate with a slice of cheesy goodness and the container that had the cake.

The woman stared at the red orange roses on the cake, her mind immediately having a distaste for that colour. It reminded her of something she didn’t want to remember.

“I hate these colours,” the woman dipped her finger in the cream rose design, raising it to her eye level, “But I love it at the same time,” and she licked the icing off of her finger.

*

The brown haired little girl of 10 years, with two cute pigtails came home from school. It was a good thing that her parents at least allowed her education. They wanted to hide their ugly selves from people and pretended to be caring normal parents.

The little girl was at the gates when she was able to hear the faint sound of music coming from her house. Her hands instinctively started trembling while locking the gates. She hated it, she hated her parents, she hated how she was treated and she hated how she was so terrified to enter her own house.

She stood in front of the door, hesitating from going inside. From the cars in the drive way, she knew those bad men were in her house.

She ran behind the house and went to her backyard where she hid inside the dog house.

She remembered how her dad and mom and slaughtered her pet dog, a gift from her grandma before she passed away, in front of her. When she tried running away as she couldn’t bear to see her parents this cruel, her mother got hold of her and tied her to a chair while forcefully keeping her eyes open to make her watch her dad running the blunt knife on the whimpering dog. She screamed herself hoarse and had nightmares till today.

The little girl was yanked awake by her dad screaming at her. “What the hell are you doing here?”

The frightened child was so scared from the vicious look on her father's face that she actually peed on herself. The look of anger on his face multiplied by ten folds. He dragged her inside the house.

“She needs to be taught a lesson,” her dad said irritatingly.

He was pissed because he had his fun time disturbed by his daughter’s classmate who was here looking for her to return her book. That’s when he realized it was way past the time when she was supposed to be arriving. He made some excuse to the classmate and started looking for his good for nothing daughter.

One of the man that was there, gave a cynical smile to the frightened little girl as her father proceeded to take off his belt.

“I think she needs to be given something that she would remember for the rest of her life and would think twice before disobeying.” The man causally stated while blowing white smoke in the little girl’s direction.

Her father pondered for a while and asked, “What do you suggest?”

The man made the girl stand up and ripped her school uniform off of her. All the while both parents just watched on in amusement and delight.

The girl cried and begged to be let go. She cried for her parents to save her but instead they told her to shut her mouth.

The man roamed his lecherous eyes on her young body clad in her pink underwear.

He took out his half smoked cigarette and showed it to her. He brought it closer to her face, the little girl cried miserably as she tried to move back. The man proceeded to burn her delicate skin with the cigarette.

Whole night she was made to sit on all fours, naked, as her parents and their guests used her as an ashtray. She doesn’t remember how many times she was burnt, she lost count after fifteen.

*

Lilly felt sick to her stomach as she heard yet another piece of her past.

Her pizza had gone cold and remained untouched. She couldn’t stomach anything after listening to how a child was viciously abused.

“Why did you decide to tell me all this?” Lilly asked quietly.

She saw the woman looking at her blankly. Lilly panicked, thinking she had offended her. She quickly opened her mouth to apologize but the woman beat her to it. “I don’t know. I guess I just wanted someone to listen to me without judging or telling me what’s wrong with me.”

The woman had finished her share of food and even asked for more. She doesn’t remember when she sat and talked to anyone about herself. It was a secret she had buried deep inside her. A wound she couldn’t openly show to anyone and something that would never heal or disappear. It itched every single day until it fully consumed her.

One month went by. Lilly never heard another story from her ever again. She did bring her foods once a week. She felt sympathetic for the woman. Maybe because of her experience as a child. When she looked at the woman she saw a little girl, innocent, battered, bleeding and crying for help.

With the help of the woman and her stories, Lilly was able to fill up her questionnaire and submitted to her professor. Even though the lady never opened up again about her past she was able to answer the questions Lilly had for her.

Lilly had a talk with her patient’s psychiatrist and learned from her that she still wasn’t talking to her. Somehow Lilly felt proud of her accomplishment and didn’t mention anything about the patient’s past to the cold psychiatrist. It wasn't her story to tell.

Her uncle Richmond had finally come home upon Lilly’s insistence, but made sure to come when her dad was not present. Lilly showed her mother and uncle Richmond the drawings of her patient. They were impressed, just like her followers on her Instagram page.

Lilly showed the woman where she had posted her drawings and all the positive comments that came with it.

For the first time in 5 weeks she saw a smile on her face. And Lilly was stunned with how beautiful she looked. Her green eyes shined with brightness.