Chapter 5: Is the loner going to cry?

It was week 7 and Lilly as usual sat in room 4011 along with her patient. Both of them were busy drawing. They made a bet who would be the first one to finish drawing the portrait of a pair of eyes as accurately as possible.

Lilly had printed out a drawing of a famous artist who drew a realistic looking pair of green eyes with just a pencil. The only coloured part of the portrait was the green iris.

The rules were simple, they both would get to study and examine the actual portrait for 5 minutes and will be given 2 hours to finish it as identical to the original as possible.

The woman was skeptical at first and gave her a deadpan look. However Lilly tried showing her, her puppy dog eyes.

“If I agree to your childish game would you stop making that face?” The woman gave Lilly a vacant look.

Two hours later when Lilly’s alarm went off, both the ladies stopped drawing. Lilly stretched out her hands and walked over to where the woman sat on her bed.

Lilly peered over to see her art and was astonished with how accurate it was. She pulled out the printed copy of the original and compared it, they were the exact same. Even Lilly’s drawing had some flaws.

The woman was even able to express the anguish that was depicted in the original.

“Wow,” Lilly breathed out, “you are truly talented. Why didn’t you go for art?”

The woman shrugged her shoulders carelessly, “It’s not that perfect.”

“You are too humble. You don’t know the gift you have.” Lilly shook her head. ‘How can this woman not see how brilliant she is?’

“No I have no gift, I’m just plain and normal. There is nothing special about me,” the woman vehemently denied.

Lilly opened and closed her mouth, not sure what to say. Then after a while she lowly spoke, “You should see yourself from someone else’s eyes, then you’ll know your worth and how capable and beautiful you are.”

The woman snorted loudly, “That’s not what I’ve been told my whole childhood. I did see from someone else’s eyes. My parents. It wasn’t a pretty site. And they made sure to remind me of how ugly and worthless I was every single day,” her bitter voice sounded in the small room.

*

The little girl was in her small closet room, brushing her hair. From a young age she had learned to look after herself and that included getting ready for school as well. Her mother would only help if it involved seeing their relatives.

She wore her green knee length dress and smoothed out any creases. She was looking at herself in the small broken mirror when her mother barged inside the room.

The mother gibed at the little girl, “I don’t know why you are even trying? Look at you,” her face scrunched up like saw something disgusting, “no matter what you do, you will always be ugly and repulsive.”

The little girl’s lips trembled from her mother’s harsh words. She was so young to even comprehend what her mother was saying but she knew it was something hurtful. It’s the same thing the girls back in her school calls her.

“Let’s go, I’m getting late,” the mother gripped the little girl’s arms and drove her to school, along the way muttering how worthless and stupid her daughter was. The little girl listened to her mother’s words as she stared outside with an empty look in her green eyes. No matter how hard she tried she couldn’t drown out her brutal words.

In school the little girl tried to blend in with other students. She tried so hard to make friends but no one wanted to hang out with her.

It was lunch break and she stood all alone as she looked on at the students from her grade all playing tag. She didn’t know where she was going wrong. Nobody wanted her, whether in school or at home. She was truly alone.

The Little girl was looking on as she cried to herself, when she was suddenly pushed down. She heard laughter around her as she looked at her scraped knee.

“Is the loner going to cry?” a blonde girl about the same age as her mocked her as she blew on her gum.

The little girl tried standing up, holding back her tears, but was pushed back down by others, “Turd like you should belong there, below me.” The blonde young girl flipped her hair.

“Stop it.” The little girl cried sounding lugubrious.

“Or what?” the blonde girl challenged her, “Kayla who’s the most ugliest girl in the school?”

Everyone who was with the mean girl called out the little girl’s name and laughed at her.

“Who’s the loner?” Again her name was yelled out.

“Whose parents don’t love her?” and her name was called out again.

The little girl sat on the ground as everyone surrounded her mocking her and laughing at her.

The little went home that day, crying her heart out, but no one was there to comfort her. She was her own companion.

All her life with her parents, she remembers being called a mistake over and over again. Her mother hated her to such an extent that even during family dinners, she would openly praise other’s kids while subtly jibed at her own. No one noticed the evil glint in the mother’s eyes and everyone thought that she was just joking. No one saw the look of desolate wash over the little girl’s face.

Everywhere she went she was always compared to others. She was always demeaned and insulted. It was deeply engraved in her mind that she could never do anything right, that she would always be below others, that she would always be lost in the crowd and never be able to shine out like other kids.

Even when she was taken from her home and was in the foster care system for two weeks, she was yet again reminded of how pitiful she was. She was again reminded that there is no one in this world that would love her or even accept her as their friend. She came into this world alone and she will live alone and die alone. She was reminded of this so often that she believed each and every word that came out of her parents and her bullies’ mouth.

She believed that she would never achieve anything. She believed when they called her ugly. She believed them when she was called worthless.

And she believed them when she was told she will never have an identity of her own and will always have to remain behind someone’s shadow.

And that’s when her jealously raised its ugly head.

*

Every time Lilly heard yet another story, she couldn’t believe it. Nobody can ever understand the pain the woman had to go through.

They were quiet for a while, both lost in their own world.

“Why don’t you show me yours?” the woman politely asked Lilly.

Lilly tried to give her a smile and not a look of pity, “I’m telling you mine is very bad, I couldn’t beat you. You won this time.” Lilly tried to sound as normal as possible.

The woman grabbed the paper from Lilly and stared with a look of wonder at her drawing. There were so many visible mistake and it clearly wasn’t perfect. However the sudden rage of jealously that burned through the woman’s blood vessels made her grit her teeth and turn red in an inexplicable anger.

Lilly gasped and stumbled as she moved back when she saw the malicious look in the woman’s eyes. The evil glint shined so clear in her green eyes that it shook Lilly to her core