Lies over Lies over Lies

Later that evening, while I'm in the car with Hajun driving back to the HA building, my mom tries to call me twice. Nervous, I glance at a napping Hajun before answering the call. Luckily enough, after so many years of hard, continuous work, my boss has learned to sleep deeply literally anywhere, since he's never sure when he'll get the next occasion to sleep.

"Hey, mom," I greet her.

"Good evening, honey. What time is it Australia right now? I was worried I would wake you up."

Shit. What's the time difference with Australia, which is where I'm supposed to be right now? I forgot to look it up. Lying is really not my forte. Thank God I don't have to keep this up for much longer.

Awkwardly, I laugh, still surveilling Hajun at the same time. It's almost 100 % sure he's sleeping, but again, if he overhears this conversation by any chance, he'll grow even more suspicious of my whole parent situation than he already is. I need to be careful to answer in the most neutral way possible so he can't decipher any information from what I'm saying.

More generally, if he finds out I woke him up from his precious slumber because of a personal phone call, I will be in big trouble.

I still am at work, after all, even though it is almost midnight and I've been working since 8 am.

However, I also really want to speak to my mom. I miss her so much. My life has been so weird and challenging since I started to work for Hajun, and all I've really wanted was some comforting time with my mom, a person I would spend time with every single day.

Besides, the wonderful thing about moms is that they believe in you and are proud of you no matter what. And after getting scolded so much at work, I could really use a little ego-boost in the shape of maternal affection.

"No worries," I quickly avoid the question. "You know how late I always go to sleep."

"Old habits never die, I see," she laughs before asking: "So how's Australia? You haven't sent us any photos since you've been here."

"I'm sorry. I've just been so busy exploring, and it's so beautiful here. You'll get some photos pretty soon, I promise."

Gosh, I feel so awkward doing this. I can't stand this lying and sneaking around anymore. Besides, having a sleeping Hajun beside me – basically a ticking time bomb – is not making me feel more relaxed by any means. "Listen, mom, can we talk later? I'm on the train right now. It's kind of rude to talk on the phone in public transportation here."

I expect her just to agree to call me back later, but instead, there's silence from the other side. First, I think the line has been disconnected, but then, I can hear her sigh. "Mom? Did you hear me?" I hesitantly ask.

"Are you okay, sweetie?" She suddenly bursts out, sounding sad. "Dad and I are a bit worried about you. You seem a bit lonely."

No, I'm not okay!, I almost want to scream at her. I feel like a failure at work because I keep making mistakes and get scolded, I hate myself because I can't help but feel attracted to my boss who's the best-looking asshole I've ever seen in my life, and overall, I'm just a mess. And no, there's nothing you can do about it because it's a mess I created myself. But hey, thank you for asking!

However, I can't tell her any of that, not yet, at least. So I just lie to her yet again, assuring her that I'm fine, and end the call with a pit in my stomach.

...

"Thank you for this, Rose," Chan says.

I've made it through another week, and it's finally time for Chan and me to go out as we had promised each other previously.

This weekend, I'm moving in with Hajun, and I'm also confessing to my parents what I've been up to for the last two months. This massive weight on my chest will finally disappear, or at least that's what I'm hoping.

Life will become a bit easier at last.

"You don't have to thank me for hanging out with you, Chan-ah," I assure him. "To be honest, I'm so relieved I met someone my age at HA Entertainment. It makes me feel less lonely and lost."

He smiles sadly at that, and it's like we can feel each other's pain. "Same."

We've chosen a more low-key bar in Hongdae for our hang-out, not risking to be seen by anyone we know at work. While it is technically not forbidden for staff and trainees to spend time with each other, it wouldn't look good either since Chan is not even an official part of the company yet, and it will remain so until he debuts. And either way, we're supposed to keep work relationships at just that: work—nothing more, nothing less.

And what Chan and I are doing right now – getting shitfaced drunk and gossiping about everyone at the company – is definitely not the definition of a typical work relationship.

Of course, I haven't mentioned to Hajun what I'm doing tonight, as I'm convinced he wouldn't approve. Luckily enough, he never cares enough to ask me what I do during my free time anyway, so I didn't have to lie.

Because I think we can all agree I'm not excelling in that matter.

"But real talk," I say after way too many soju shots, "do you believe you're going to debut soon?"

Chan just massages his temples at that and sighs, and I almost regret asking him. "I hope so. If not, I have no idea what I will do. I placed all my bets on this company on the fact that they could maybe, just maybe, make me successful. If I fail, I'll never forgive myself."

Squeezing his hand, I reply: "I believe in you. And I don't know much about what it takes to become a Kpop idol, but I do know that you have an amazing voice, Chan-ah. Karaoke earlier did not disappoint. Unlike me, you actually sounded good."

My new friend laughs at that. "Yeah, let's just say we can all be lucky you don't want to become a Kpop idol."

Jokingly, I slap him on the arm. "Hey, I'm trying to cheer you up. Don't disrespect me like this."

Somehow, that just makes him laugh even more, and I'm happy that I could help make this burdened boy feel a little bit lighter, also if it is only for one evening.

I've been having so much fun all night that I haven't looked at my phone one single moment, and when I do so, it is already midnight, and Chan and I are on our way home since he has a curfew at the trainee dorms.

And that's when I see it.

Twenty unread texts from Hajun.

Seven missed calls from Hajun.

Ten missed calls from Eun.

Only one text, but certainly the scariest one I've probably ever received from Eun: "Call me as soon as you can."

Shit. Immediately, I get a pit in my stomach. I can't help but feel like there's a connection between Eun's and Hajun's missed calls. It's impossible they're a coincidence.

As soon as I've dropped off Chan at his dorm, I call Eun.

She answers right away. "Rose, where are you right now?"

"In the cab, on my way back to your place.", I frown. "Why? What happened?"

"Don't come here. Go to your parents' apartment now."

"Uh, okay," I tell the driver the new directions before getting back to the conversation, repeating my question from earlier. "What the hell happened, Eun?"

She's silent for a while, clearly hesitating to speak, and I feel like throwing up. Never have I experienced Eun this panicked. "I'm so sorry, Rose. He was just so persistent, and he wouldn't stop pushing. I had to tell him. He threatened he would fire you if I didn't."

Even though her words couldn't be more confusing, I immediately grasp what's going on, and my mouth goes parched. "It's Hajun, right?" I whisper. "He's at my parent's place?"