Chicken Out

In the next few days, work goes on as it would usually, and Hajun doesn't mention the whole idea of moving in again.

However, after spending pretty much every single day with him (except those few lucky hours on the weekend), I'm starting to know the guy.

If there's one thing that Hajun doesn't do, then it's to make thoughtless suggestions. When he asked me to move in with him, he meant it. I am confident of that.

On Tuesday, he comes to sit next to me while I'm eating lunch at the cafeteria, which is something he only does to scold me about something, so I'm immediately tense up and begin to eye him suspiciously.

Mentally, I start checking my to-do list for the day. Is there anything I forgot?

Before I find the answer to that question, he asks me: "So, have the last days been enough time to think? Do you want to live with me? Because I'm patient, but I'm not that patient, Rose."

On the one hand, I'm relieved he hasn't forgotten about his proposition. On the other hand, I'm nervous because frankly, I just can't bring myself to make a choice.

However, Hajun's impatience is radiating from his entire body. I don't have much time left to make a decision. This much I am aware of.

I avoid his intense gaze. "Not yet. Can you give me one more day? I am closer to a yes, though," I add, mainly to calm him down.

He breaths out slowly and loudly, his way to show he's annoyed. It's effective as I'm immediately even more intimidated. "Fine. One more day. Is this about your parents? Are they scared that you're going to move in with a man? If you want to, I can assure them our relationship is nothing but strictly professional."

What would my parents think about this? Since as of currently, they are not an active part of my life, I haven't asked myself that question. Deep down, I'm convinced my parents would not approve of this whole job in general, perceiving it as too intense and toxic for me, especially considering I've never worked before.

As to living with my boss? Again, they would completely disregard the fact that living with him actually makes sense looking at my job description and only see the negative sides of my situation again, finding it unhealthy.

However, since I'm lying to my parents about pretty much everything in my life right now, it's not exactly like I can for their opinion on the matter.

Hajun seems to have noticed that I'm lost in thought since he rolls his eyes and starts snapping his fingers in front of my face. "Why do you always do this? Hello, Rose, I'm talking to you."

Back to reality. "Sorry, oppa. Thanks for the offer, but my parents don't even know that I'm moving, so..."

He stares at me, shocked. "What do you mean, they don't know that you're moving? How come they never know anything that's going in your life? You're so young. You should be more in touch with them."

His words irk me, even though I try not to let it show since I'm aware that'll make him mad. Who is he to give me lessons about how I should behave around my family? That's absolutely none of his business.

The same goes for the fact that he calls me "so young" when he's literally just a couple of years older than me. Yes, I agree that he has a lot more life experience - growing up as Korea's most promising idol and all-, but that is no reason to be condescending towards me.

"You're young as well, and you don't tell your family about everything you do either, right?", I try to reason with him.

His eyes immediately narrow at that. "Please don't compare the two of us, we couldn't be any more different. I started training with HA Entertainment when I was fourteen years old. This company, my members, they are the ones who raised me, so they became my family."

Right, I forgot. How dare I, nobody-Rose, compare myself to Hajun, a celebrity? Nevertheless, he's right (even though he would have expressed that in a nicer way), and I don't know what to respond to anymore, so I decide to return to the actual subject. "Anyways, just give me one more day, okay? I promise I'll give you an answer tomorrow."

...

When I tell Eun about my annoying conversation with Hajun in the evening, I expect her to side with me. However, she just raises her eyebrows at me. "See, this just confirms what I've been saying all along. If even Hajun is growing suspicious, don't you think you should finally tell your parents the truth? They will never react as badly as you believe. They are still your parents, after all. They love you, Rose."

Before I can even argue back, she continues her rant, still speaking in a soft, friendly tone, though, to show me she's got my best interests at heart. "If you really move in with Hajun, how do you expect to keep all these secrets from him? It's better to just come clean to your parents now."

She's reasoning with logic, and I can't help but agree with her, especially since I've finally made up my mind about moving in with Hajun. I've decided I was going to make a run for it and just do it.

Eun seems to have read my thoughts because she asks me quietly: "You're going to do it, aren't you? Live with him. You've decided."

I nod and squeeze her hand. "I'm sorry, Eun. Thank you so much for this last month. You really saved me, you know. But you deserve to live a normal life with more privacy, and I'm convinced this would be a more mature choice to make."

She looks at me in the most endearing way possible, her dark brown eyes shining affectionately. "Are you scared? Of living with him, I mean."

I nod again. "Terrified. But I've already learned so much about work this past month, and by living with him, I believe I could learn even more and improve how I work. It's the right choice to make."

Waiting for her to speak, to react to what I've said, I almost fear she'll be hurt, but instead, she offers me a genuine smile. "I think so too, Rose-ah. I'm proud of you." And this is why I've got the best friend in the world.

"And considering my parents," I add, taking a deep breath, "you were right as well. I'll tell them this weekend."

It's time I stop running away from my problems and own up the truth.

Living with Hajun is going to be like a new beginning, I'm confident of that.

...

"Hajun oppa," I blurt.

It's the evening of the next day, and we're sitting in the waiting room of some Korean talk show YouGe is going to be interviewed at. As the group is now mostly active internationally, the boys don't get to go on Korean shows that often anymore, and Minjun has confessed to me they deeply miss it. While they appreciate the international support, they do always feel like aliens overseas.

Hajun hasn't asked me about my decision all day. He hasn't forgotten, but something tells me that he wants me to say it without being reminded of it first

Which is what I'm doing right now, after gathering all my courage.

He looks up from his phone and to me, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. "Yes?"

My boss knows what I'm about to say. He knows he's won, and it's making him act all smug. His hair has been growing longer and is now covering his eyes, but I swear I can recognize the arrogant glint in them.

"I've made my decision," I announce, forcing myself to look him in the eyes. If I'm going to live with the guy, I'm going to need to stop being so intimated by him.

Hajun raises an eyebrow amusedly, clearly enjoying this. "Have you? And? What's your decision, Rose-ah?"

I gulp before taking a deep breath. I'm not intimidated, I'm not intimidated, I'm not intimidated. "I'll move in with you." As soon as I say it, I feel like that a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulder.

He leans back, a small smile dancing along his lips. "Wow, I didn't think you had it in you, Rose-ah."

Something about him speaking informally to me really irks me. Of course, he has the right to do it since he's older, and people in the show business generally speak quite informally to each other. They do so to differentiate themselves from office people, who they find stuffy and boring. Still, when people like Minjun speak informally to me, it sounds affectionate; when Hajun does it, it sounds condescending.

Like being younger than him automatically makes me stupid and naive.

"What is that supposed to mean?" I immediately ask, his comment not sitting right with me.

"I don't know... I just thought you would bail."

"Well, I didn't," I just retort, not knowing what else to answer to that, since he is kind of right. I did almost chicken out.

His smile grows more prominent, and for a moment, I swear I can see an endearing, kind expression flash in his eyes, making him seem like an entirely different human being. So much sweeter. I can't help but envy the people who are close to him, appreciated by him. It must be incredibly amazing to be able to call An Hajun your friend.

"Yes, surprisingly enough, you didn't. When do you want to move in?"