Move in With me

"You should move in with me."

The young man suggests that as if it were the most normal thing in the world. Which, I think we can all agree, it isn't

What the hell did he just say? I start violently coughing and almost choke on my omelette. "Ex-excuse me?"

To that, he just rolls his eyes. "You heard me just fine, Rose. Don't make me repeat myself."

I need a few seconds to take it all in. Then, I blurt: "So does this mean you're not going to fire me?"

"Why would I fire you?" Hajun frowns.

I scratch my head, this is not a conversation I ever thought I would be having. "I don't know, because that's what you've been doing with all your previous assistants?"

"Don't say stupid things, Rose. What do you have to do with my previous assistants?"

His dark eyes are burning through my soul. How am I supposed to live with such an intense man? I can barely work with him.

"I'm sorry, but I don't understand. Why would you... why are you suggesting that?" I'm so overwhelmed I've forgotten how to talk.

"Well, as my personal assistant, you're supposed to align my professional and personal life. It doesn't make sense for you to only work at the office. Yours is not a typical office job.

It would be just soo much more convenient for everyone involved, even you. When I need something, I can only tell you directly instead of waiting for you to pick up your damn phone." Annoyance can be heard in his voice.

Ah, yes, one of the many things he likes to me yell to me about: me never answering my phone.

"Besides, don't pretend you like living in a minuscule flat with your friend, not in front of me, at least. I've lived with my members for many years, I know what it's like. And the BigHit building is much closer to my apartment than it is to yours. You wouldn't be late all the time."

Ah, another habit of mine he hates. This is just such an enjoyable conversation to have in the morning, being reminded of all of one's faults.

When I still don't react, he adds: "Don't worry, I have a billion guest rooms here. You choose one and make it your own. And I'd still be at the BTS apartment quite frequently, so you'd get enough privacy."

The thought of finally getting my own room again is quite tempting. However, I don't buy the "privacy" argument. In my opinion, moving in with Hajun will result in quite the contrary to that, me just being his personal slave even more than I am now.

"Can I think about it?" I ask hesitantly.

My boss just shrugs at this. "Sure, even though I don't really see what there is to think about."

"Well, for starters, does this mean that I'm going to have to clean the house? I've heard of other assistants who had to do that. To be honest, that is not really what I signed up for when I applied for this job."

Then again, I didn't sign up for any of this, or else I wouldn't even have accepted the position in the first place.

Somehow, and that's what makes the current situation so strange, is that I don't want to quit. Truthfully, even though it would be hard, I could confess to my parents and go back home. But something about working for Hajun, however insufferable it might sometimes be, just draws me in. Maybe it's because I want to prove to this stubborn butthead standing in front of me right now that I can do it. Perhaps I also just want to prove to myself that I can do it.

But most importantly, this is the first thing in my life that I chose to do completely independently from everyone else. It is the first thing in my life that is entirely and utterly mine.

And I can't give up on that, not yet.

Hajun's arrogant smirk brings me back to reality. "Thanks for the offer, but I have a cleaning lady. Besides, I'd rather not have you clean. I've seen your desk at the office, you're not exactly the tidiest, are you?"

Great, another one of my faults. He's just on a roll today.

I decide to just ignore what he said. "And what about rent? I know you own this place, but I can't just... I don't want to just live here without paying anything."

I really mean what I'm saying. The few times Hajun and I have gotten lunch outside together to discuss some of his future projects in private, he has always paid for lunch. Since the older person should pay in Korea, this didn't seem odd for me.

However, there is a vast difference between treating someone for a meal and offering them to live at your multi-million dollar apartment for free.

Hajun seems to notice I'm serious. "Of course, I would never ask you to pay rent. I just thought that you should buy your own groceries, you can have a designated space in the fridge."

Well, that sounds reasonable. He really seems to have thought about this. "Oh," I say lamely because I realize that the idea doesn't seem as irrational as I initially thought, and I'm kind of running out of counter-arguments. "Okay, that makes sense."

Suddenly, a small, smug smile appears on Hajun's face. "Looks like you've already decided."

He doesn't seriously think he's convinced me already? "I... I need to think.", I stutter.

I'm mad at him because he's making so much sense.

...

"So was the bed comfortable?" Eun asks, munching on some cereal. I finally went back home to change, do my make-up, and brief this entire last day with Eun.

Speechless, I just stare at her. "I just told you that I in the span on twenty-four hours, I watched a man kill himself, slept over at my boss's apartment, which resulted in him asking me to live with him, and that's what caught your attention?"

Eun just shrugs. "Well, I'm just saying. That guy must be so fucking rich. The beds in his apartment must be great."

I just snort at Eun's baffling sense of priorities. "Yes, of course, it was comfortable. I still didn't sleep well, though. I kept replaying that incident in that mind."

Her eyes glide over me, suddenly worried. "Are you sure you don't want to go to the therapist? Especially if Hajun's paying for it. You can talk to me or even Hajun about it all you want, you know, but it won't be the same as getting some professional help."

Quickly, I shake my head and change the subject. "No, I'll be fine. So what do you think? Should I move in with him?"

She raises an eyebrow at me. "Why are you even asking me? It seems like you've already made up your mind."

I frown. "Huh? No, I haven't. I'm just not completely opposed to the idea of moving in with him, that's all. Workwise, it'd be very convenient."

Pensively, my best friend chews on her nails - a habit she just cannot get rid of - before she looks at me. "I agree that it'd be convenient for you. But still, I'm confused. I thought you hated the guy."

"Well...", I start saying, then I realize that I have no answer to that. Do I hate Hajun? Maybe before, yes. But after he showed me his human side yesterday... I think that perhaps he's not as insufferable as I initially believed.

"Seriously, Rose. I've known you for five years, and I've never heard you complain about anyone this much. I mean, thanks to all your rants even I hate him now, and I haven't even met him! Besides, I thought you enjoyed living with me?"

"I do!" I immediately respond because I don't want her to get the wrong idea about this. Living with Eun is the only thing that has kept me sane this last month. Am I really ready do give that wonderful safe haven up to be around Hajun, my personal hell, all the time?

Then again... I sleep on a couch here. I've been living out of a suitcase. I love Eun, but having a bit more personal space would be more than pleasant.

"I adore living with you, Eun. You know that. But I mean, we both know we can't go on like this forever. No matter how close we are, at the end of the day, we still need our privacy. And I'm scared I might feel like too much of a burden."

My words seem to shock her a bit. "You're my best friend.", she says quietly. "You're never a burden." Then, something in her shifts, and it's like she composes herself. "It's nothing uncommon for assistants and managers to live with K-Pop idols. And as you said, it would be a lot more convenient for you."

"So, you're saying I should do it?" Pleading, I look at her. I'm so lost, I have no idea what choice to make.

But to my disappointment, Eun just shakes her head. "Stop trying to get me to make this decision for you, Rose-ah. This is something you need to know for yourself. It's your life."

And while she is absolutely right, her answer doesn't help me one tiny bit. Because yes, this might be my life. However, I have absolutely no idea what I want from it.