The Last Word

The following days, Hajun and I start to get along much better. I try to relax around him more as I've noticed there's no reason to be tense. Especially now that I've ridiculed myself in front of him countless times. There's nothing to lose anymore.

The longer we live together, the more it's going to be unveiled what a mess I really am.

I need to come to terms with that.

Still, while I feel like Hajun's starting to truly get to know me, I have absolutely no clue who he is. My boss rarely talks about himself or his emotions. I wonder if it's something he's just shut off after so many years of living for someone else – his fans. Of course, the purpose of his job is admirable, but what if he forgets who he is in the process?

"Hey, Eun," I'm next to Hajun in the car, driving back to the HA Entertainment building after a photoshoot. Answering a private phone call during work time immediately earns me a glare from my dear boss, but I care less now. Every time is work time anyway with Hajun, and literally, 100 % of my day already revolves around him. I'm allowed to think about my own life from time to time.

"I can't talk for long, I'm working," I still say as Hajun's dark eyes are stuck on me. If the phone call lasts too long, he's going to be grumpy all day. And since I still have many hours to spend with him, I'd rather avoid that situation.

My best friend sighs. "I know. You always are."

Her words make me feel a pang of guilt, but not for long. I've chosen this life and this job; I'm not going to keep apologizing for being busy. I have responsibilities now. Sorry, but I have to take care of one of the most famous people on the planet, okay?

Something about her tone sets me off, though. She's waiting for me to remember something.

Is it her birthday? No, no, her birthday is tomorrow. Right, her birthday is tomorrow! She wanted to party tonight.

"Is this about tonight?" I carefully glance at Hajun who's absorbed into his phone, responding to his own text messages. "I haven't forgotten, you know."

"Oh." Her voice suddenly sounds much lighter. "Good. I thought you would have."

"Of course not. I'm still a good best friend, you know."

"I never doubted you.", she giggles. "I'll see you tonight then."

She hangs up, and I can't help but pensively stare at my phone. Eun's more than just a friend. She's the person that matters the most to me after my parents. I would never want to make her think she's losing me to this job.

No money in the world will ever buy love or friendship.

I'm so engrossed into my thoughts that I've almost forgotten Hajun next to me.

Almost.

Because of course, he never fails to remind me he exists, and that he's all I should care about.

"What's tonight?", he asks, still staring at his phone.

"Tonight?", I chuckle nervously, repeating his question to buy myself some time.

My first instinct is to lie to him because I know he wouldn't approve of me partying during a workweek. Then, I shake that thought off. This is nonsense. I'm an adult, and during the off-work time, I do not answer to Hajun. He has no right to judge me in any shape or form.

So I gather all my courage and respond to him: "It's Eun's birthday party. We're going out with some friends." I'm an adult. I'm an adult. I'm an adult.

"I see." His voice is icy, and his gaze is now gliding over me, judging me.

Why does he have to be so damn intimidating? Vehemently, I hold his gaze. He has no right to comment on my private life, so whatever he's going to say, I don't have to care. Yet, I know I will. For some reason, every single word leaving Hajun's mouth has the most significant impact on me, whether I like it or not.

"You really think that's a good idea? We have a long day tomorrow." His tone indicates how irresponsible he believes I'm acting.

Something about the way he says "we" reminds me of the painful reality that Hajun's life is my life, too. Since I continuously need to adapt to him, my lifestyle is a mirror of his. The only thing I have left that is uniquely mine are hangouts with my family or friends.

I won't let him take that away from me as well.

"I'll survive.", I shrug, trying to underplay the whole situation. Why does he always have to make everything such a big deal? "Besides, I deserve a little break sometimes."

Something flashes in his eyes, and I immediately realize I made a big mistake. I worded that completely wrong. From a Korean mindset, my sentence makes me sound like the laziest person on the planet. God, why are people so obsessed with work in this country?

And why is it considered a weakness to take some time off for oneself?

Besides, why does Hajun always emphasize so much how he's different from me? Yes, he's famous, but he's also a young adult, just like me. In another life, with a little less fame and arrogance from his part and a lot more self-confidence from my part, we might even have been friends.

Is it really that difficult for him to understand me?

"A break from what?" His venom-like voice is dangerously quiet now. "Is this job too challenging for you, Rose? Are you annoyed?"

Now he's just bluntly provoking me. Every time I feel like I'm taking a step forward with Hajun, he says something assholey, and we're taking ten steps backwards again.

"That's not what I meant," I reply to that, frustrated. I hate how he's constantly putting words in my mouth, making me sound ungrateful for this job.

His eyes are burning through me, sucking me in. "Don't you think that I want to take a break as well, sometimes? Go out with my friends? But I don't, because work comes first for me. As it should for you."

It does! I want to scream at him, but at this moment, we arrive in front of the building, and he exits the car without even looking at me.

Once again, Hajun has had the last word.