Your Dumbest Idea

Later that day, I lock myself into the bathroom to call Eun to tell about my fight with Hajun and ask for her advice.

She scoffs at my story. "God, you haven't gone out once since you've started working for him. How can that coconut head be so unfair?"

"Coconut head?" I repeat, confused.

"Yes." I can hear her mischievous grin through the phone. "Haven't you noticed? When you stare at him for too long, his head starts resembling a coconut."

I can't help but laugh at that. To be frank, I've always so busy crushing on Hajun and daydreaming about how stunning he his that I completely disregarded that even an Hajun might have some physical faults, just like the rest of us mortals. "So, should I still come tonight?"

"Of course, Rose-ah!" She's rolling her eyes right now. I don't need to see her be aware of that. "What you do during your off-time is none of Hajun's business. He really needs to get some better hobbies instead of commenting on your life."

Oh, I agree, Eun. I agree.

...

In the evening, I get ready with a pulsing heart. I've slightly curled my reddish-brown hair the way the hair stylists at the company have explained to me to do it and I've done my make-up with some products the make-up artists have let me "borrow". We're all aware I won't return them but they don't expect me as they already own an abundance of equipment.

Well, what can I say? Even my job has some perks. A healthy work-life balance is just not one of them.

I'm doing nothing wrong, so why do I feel like I am?

Why do I feel like I'm a traitor, like I'm betraying Hajun?

Maybe this job is really becoming too toxic for me. There's nothing wrong about partying from time to time as long as I'm fresh in the morning. Which I will be. I can handle my liquor.

If there's one thing that Westerners are better at than Asians, then it's drinking. So the 50 % white in me was born for alcohol.

The TV's running downstairs. Hajun's already home and in the living room. This is a terrible sign because it means he'll notice if I leave for the party.

Actually, no, I take that back. It doesn't matter whether or not he'll see me. I have the right to attend that party. I don't care what he thinks. I don't have to explain myself to him.

For a moment, I regret not living with Eun anymore. At least with her, I could do whatever I wanted. Then, my eyes glide over my Queen Bed and my walk-in closet. Ok, no, I do enjoy living here. However complicated it may be.

As discreetly as possible, I walk through the living room to reach the entrance. Nevertheless, Hajun, who's sitting on the couch, spots me. "So you're still going, I see."

I turn around to him to meet his cold, judgemental eyes. They differ so strongly from the warm hazelnut ones that made me dinner the other night. "Yes, I am. I can handle myself. One little party won't kill me."

"Fine," he retorts icily when we both know it's not fine at all.

Without uttering another word, I put on my shoes and get ready to leave. I try to remember Eun's words. He's not worth it, Rose-ah.

Just when I open the door, he tells me in the most condescending tone possible: "I'm disappointed in you, Rose."

Right away, anger flashes through me. He's gone too far.

Is he serious? Why does he act like that just because I'm going to one party? Who the hell does he believe he is?

An Hajun needs to come back down to earth.

I'm not his fucking younger sister. He has no right to scold me like this.

However, I don't tell him any of this because it would be pointless, anyway. There's nothing I can do to change his behaviour.

In regards to An Hajun I am completely and utterly powerless.

So I swallow my anger and leave the apartment without even sparing him another glance.

...

"I don't know, I'm just worried," Kat, one of our other ex-pat friends, says.

Her and Eun convinced me to take a smoking break outside of the club (which consists of them smoking and me trying to breathe in the least possible), and ever since then, they've been going on about the midterms they soon need to pass.

I tried to listen, I really did, but after a while, I just lost interest. It's not that I don't care about my friend's issues, it's just that they seem so out of touch with mine. To be honest, I wish that my number one problem in life was taking an exam. Instead, I carry the weight of one of the world's most famous people on my shoulders.

Listening to my friends feels strange. I've known them for years, and still, it's as if we're from two different worlds. Frankly, I don't want to return to theirs anymore. I'm done with school. I enjoy working. Yes, it's more challenging, but it's also more rewarding.

Kat puffs a smoky cloud directly into my face, and I wrinkle my nose. Before, I used to tolerate smoking because most of my friends were fond of it, but ever since I've started to work for Hajun, I despise it. Hajun calls it "cancer on a stick," and I hate to admit that I agree.

I try to shake off the image of the judgemental Jungkook in my mind, but it's not working. His mentality impacts me much more than I expected. He was right about tonight, for example. I'm running from my responsibilities by being here. And the worst part is that I'm not even having fun.

These people are my friends, and I love them to death. However, I have nothing in common with them anymore.

That is the painful truth.

I should have just stayed home. I would have gotten a good night's sleep, and Hajun wouldn't be angry at me.

Kat starts flirting with a random guy and leaves Eun and me alone, who immediately raises her eyebrows at me. "Can you stop thinking of Hajun, please?"

"I'm not!" I retort way too defensively, immediately exposing the fact that I was, in fact, thinking of Hajun.

Eun rolls her eyes. "God, I hate that boy. Because of him, I can't even enjoy my best friend's company on my birthday. Which is the first occasion I've had to see you in a month, by the way. Are you even aware of that? That we haven't met in almost a month?"

Sighing, I massage my temples. "I'm sorry, Eun, really. I promise I'll try to live more in the moment from now on, okay?"

She's barely listening to me, and by that, I can tell she's mad. "Why do you care so much about his opinion, Rose-ah? Hmm?"

"Well, he's my boss," I attempt to explain without much conviction.

"How old is that guy? Twenty-one?" she continues on ranting. "How dare he judge you for partying when he should be doing the same? I mean, how boring is his life that he has nothing better to do than to criticize yours? Being an idol must be so damn sad."

"He's famous. It's not like he can just go out and party as he pleases," I mumble to Hajun's defense, even though the pettier part of me agrees with my best friend.

Eun's eyes burn. "And why not? It's dark, no one would notice him. Give me your phone."

Without waiting for me to follow her words, she just snatches it from my hands and unlocks it. Why did I trust her with my code?

Stupid Rose.

I freeze. "What the hell are you doing, Eun-ah?"

"I'm calling him. Since we can't escape Hajun's presence anyway, he might as well just physically join us.", she responds nonchalantly as she scrolls through my contacts.

I just stare at her, dumbfounded. "That's the dumbest idea you've ever had."

"Relax, I'll say I stole your phone so that he doesn't blame you tomorrow. Besides, he's going to decline anyway. This is just to show him how anxious he makes you feel, like all the damn time. I just can't stand you seeing like this anymore."

Sighing, I just watch as she starts calling my boss at one in the morning. While I don't comprehend her logic, there's no point in stopping Eun once she's made a decision.

"Maybe he won't even respond, " I whisper hopefully, though I seriously doubt it. Hajun usually stays up pretty late playing video games on his PC. Which doesn't stop him from shaming me because I'm going out once.

Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen, this is indeed what we call a hypocrite.

"Hajun-ssi, good evening," Eun suddenly starts speaking.