CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

"We should probably go back downstairs. The actual party Is yet to start." I told an unwilling Jayden whose hands wrapped my small waist protectively.

"Can't we stay just a little while?" He asked.

"Nope. Up. Now." I commanded releasing myself from his grip and standing up in the process. He stretched out his hand to me and I held it trying to pull him up. I succeeded after several futile attempts.

We went downstairs and the loud sound of music and jubilation hit me. I had actually forgotten it was Jasmine's day. I felt a hand on mine. Jayden's. He held my hand as we descended down the stairs. Hands interlocked and faces with smiles.

I saw Kyle or rather Kyle saw us. I excused myself from Jayden's grip and walked to meet Kyle. He was sitting by the bar drinking what was obviously vodka.

I took another seat by the bar table and turned to him. He tried to say something but ended up stuttering. He obviously was drunk. I put my hands on his shoulder to try to stable him.

"I'm sorry I was being shitty…I just…..wannnnnnnnteeed to look after youuuuuuuuuuuuuuu and ….." He said stammering and was cut short by Jayden's voice on the mic.

"Attention everyone. How are you all doing tonight?" Everyone roared and screamed.

"So I have an announcement to make."

I wondered. What was he up to? I turned and looked at Kyle who was obviously confused. I left the bar and went close to where Jayden was. No no. I hope it is not what I am thinking. I shook my head and my hands and I was certain he saw it. He looked at me and looked confused but nodded.

"Congratulations to the newest couples in town." He screamed and everyone joined him.

He dropped the mic and came to meet me. Dragging my elbow. I won't lie, it hurts like hell.

"What was that for?" We both said in unison.

"You first." I told him folding my hands.

He was silent, sending death glares at me. When it was obvious that he was not going to say anything, I walked out and left him to himself.

Someone held me. It was Mimi. She was quite drunk. Am I the only one in this party who is actually sane right now?

"Hey babes, where have you been?"

"Upstairs. Why?" I asked.

"You're missing out on all the funnnnnn…" She said slurring and dancing at the same time.

I left her and went outside to receive fresh air. What just happened? This is what I get for deciding to live the remainder of my life like a normal person. I tried to ignore the revering headache that has been forming since. I went closer to the pool side and took off my shoes dipping my legs into the cold water. I took a deep breath. The stars looked so bright and at the same time annoying. I screamed inwardly and felt tears dropping down my cheeks. I thought about my life. How I have been struggling and battling every single day. I thought about Jayden. The obnoxious and arrogant guy who suddenly came into my life within the space of four weeks. The guy who gave me mixed signals and mixed feelings. The guy whom I just gave my virginity to. The guy who I have come to realize that I love so much that it hurts. I thought about Jasmine. My constant strength in the ebb of weakness. The only one that has been encouraging me to fight. I suddenly realized how big of a burden I have been to her. I should end this and stop being a burden to her. Or anyone else at that.

I actually do not know how to swim. The idea came to me like lightning. I got up and stood at the edge of the pool side. Ready to let myself go. Ready to just give in and make this dying process easy because believe it or not I was dying slowly. I took a deep breath still with tears in my eyes and closed my hands. I felt hands holding me back. Jayden? No the hands were much smaller. I turned and saw my sister. My strength with tears in her eyes. She pulled me in for a hug.

"Alyssa.. why?" She asked me still crying. I sobbed and we stood there for minutes crying together.

"Jasmine.. I'm tired. I do not want to continue living like this. I do not want to fight anymore. I actually can not do this. I'm broken Jasmine. Every day, I try to be normal. Everyday Jasmine I have this nagging headache. I have fevers almost every week. Jasmine I actually do have a lot but I can not continue like this. I just want to die. I just want everything to stop." I said sobbing into her arms. She held me rubbing my back. I looked at her and saw the despair and pain in her eyes.

"Alyssa, mum and dad didn't raise a quitter. They raised two strong girls who are capable of being anything and overcoming anything. This would pass I promise. You would have children, a husband who adores you and loves you relentless and a very very happy home. We would grow old together and play dress ups with our husbands and we would live Ali. You would live." She said looking directly at me with tears in her eyes and a bitter smile.

"How is any of that going to be possible? Jasmine I am a stage three cancer patient. Standing here and being alive right now is a scientific miracle in fact. I love you Jasmine. I really do. You are my world. I owe you my life and I don't want to be a burden to you. I want you to be happy in your home with your child and not worry about your sick sister. I want you to be free." I held her hands.

"Loosing you right now would only make me go mad and I swear if you try anything stupid, Ben would have to bury two bodies." She said with authority.

I looked at her and hugged her again. We both laughed and wiped out faces.

'Now your make up is ruined." I told her laughing.

"Let's ditch this party for a while. I want to spend time with my baby sister. It feels like ages."

We sat down at the edge of the pool and I narrated every that happened between Jayden and I to her.