Week 7 - pt 2
17th October
Autumn met Connor by the lake. He kissed her cheek.
‘We ready to go?’
‘Yeah.’
He dropped his arm over her shoulders and they walked away.
They met up wit their friends out side the gates as the bell rang he kissed her goodbye.’ ‘I’ll see you later babe.’
‘Yeah sure Con.’
‘Come on Con we’ll be late.’
‘Later babe.’
‘Yeah later red.’
‘Later.’She said walk-in away walking down the hall.
‘She’ll be okay Con.’
‘I hope so.’
‘Come on or we’ll get detention.’
‘Sure.’
Thy walked away heading for registration.
Mathew Harding stood at the door of the office. He smiled. ‘Good morning Autumn.’
‘I guess.’
‘What’s wrong autumn the sun is out and it’s forecast for the next week.’
‘Cool.’ She said stepping into the office. He closed the door. ‘Take a seat.’
She fell onto the sofa. He strode across the room sitting opposite her. ‘You okay Autumn you don’t look like you want to be here this morning.’
‘So you noticed.’
‘What’s wrong Autumn. Maybe I can help.’
‘I doubt it. Connor and our friends tried to reassure me everything would be okay but it won’t.’
‘Okay let’s start at the beginning.’
‘They all hate me.’
‘I’m sure that’s not true Autumn you have friends.’
‘I know, but they all look daggers at me Matt.’
‘Who do surely not your friends.’
‘No all the rest of them those who chose not to speak to me.’
‘I see.’
‘They’re not perfect Matt everyone talks about them.’
‘Even you.’
‘No. I don’t know them the guys the other girls and they look at me as if I’m on their territory. Most the guys try and strike up a conversation but the daggers through you cuts like a knife and they don’t bother the names they call you.’
‘Like what.’
‘Slag slut hoe. They should take a look in the mirror a long hard fucking look.’
‘Your not nine of those autumn.’
‘How do you know.’
‘I just do.’ He placed his hand on hers.’ She looked nervously at him. Your not them Autumn you be proud of who you are walk with your head held high.’
‘I’m trying.’
‘You’re better than them.’
‘I guess.’
‘You are.’
‘It wasn’t like this at my old school.’
‘What was it like.’
‘Different we were all so close I got in with everyone, well almost everyone not everyone likes a clever girl.’
‘Just cause you’re clever don’t mean you are better than them Autumn.’
‘I know.’
‘So did you clash with anyone?’
‘Joanne on several occasions .’
‘Your friend.’
‘Yeah. She was clever though she wouldn’t admit it. I guess she thought she had something to prove to me prove she could be better than me.’
‘And was she.’
‘Yeah she was. We helped each other though we had loads of arguments we helped each other through our seeker subjects until…’ she stopped.
He looked at her pulling himself up sitting next to her, his eyes sparkled in hers. ‘Take your time autumn I can see all of this is hard for you. You haven’t got to open up all at once.’
‘I know.’ She looked at him he smiled. ‘I’d like to continue.’
‘Sure.’
‘We were close not as close as me and Caz, but we done most of our homework together as we were in practically all the same classes as one another.’
He smiled.
‘Anyway we were all okay then.’
He looked at her engaged with interest.
‘After Rudgey and Caz you know.’
He looked at her.
‘We weren’t that close none of us were we tried to be but loosing three friends so close to one another we found it hard to talk to one another.’
‘I see.’
‘I thought she could confide in me Matt. She chose not to.’
‘She could’ve had her reasons Autumn.’
‘Yeah she didn’t trust me enough.’
‘So what happened.’
She looked at him.
‘Take your time autumn we can always pick up where we left off next time.’
‘They were found together.’
‘Who.’
‘Joanne and Downey. They weren’t sure what they’d taken there weren’t no traces of anything in their system why didn’t she tell me Matt I could’ve stopped it?’ She cried.
He placed his arms around her. ‘It’s okay autumn.’
‘How I could’ve stoped it.’
‘Do you think she would’ve listened.’
‘Yes I do.’
‘Did he love her?’
‘I guess she loved him.’
‘So she’d do anything for him.’
‘I guess. Why?’
‘Just he may have talked her into it twisted her arm. They may have agreed together.’
‘She wouldn’t her life and what she wanted out of life was to important to her to do what she did.’
‘We all do dumb things when pressured into them Autumn.’
‘She was too head strong for that Matt I knew her she had her head screwed on.’
‘Maybe but guys do weird things to your head and twist you into believe I guess in everything that they say autumn. He may have convinced her that it was safe and I wasn’t.’
‘Maybe.’
‘I’m sorry Autumn I know this is hard for you but we need to put it into perspective.’
‘Maybe another suicide more kids forgotten.’
‘You don’t have to forget them autumn just refer to your photos for the good times.’
‘I guess.’
He moved away wiping her tears away. ‘I’m here when ever you need me Autumn.’
‘Thanks.’
The bell rang.
‘You best be getting to next lesson.’
She pulled herself up. ‘I’ll see you Tuesday unless I see you before.’
‘Sure bye Matt.’
‘Autumn.’
She opened the door stepping out walking down the corridor. Tears falling off her face. ‘Hey red.’
She quickly wiped them away. ‘Stenton.’
‘You okay babe you’ve been crying again.’
‘I’m fine.’
‘Come on we can talk.’
‘I’m fine Stenton I don’t want you to get into trouble.’
‘You won’t.’
‘Okay but not long.’
He smiled and they walked out side siting outside. ‘So what’s up red.’
‘Life.’
‘Who’s hassling you.’
‘No one.’
He looked at her. ‘You foot fool me red we all find it hard to make friends.’
‘Even you.’
‘Even me.’
‘I find that hard to believe.’
‘I grew a pair Autumn you have to to survive I son gained friends and acquaintances, trust me red you’ll gain them to you have Con and the others you have me.’
‘Why are you being so nice.’
‘I like you red it’s there problem if they don’t.’
‘I feel so alone Stenton.’
‘You don’t need to autumn you have us.’
‘They look at me as if I don’t belong.’
‘We’ve all had that red believe me just ask Con hell tel you how hard his first day was his first few months they got over it he daint hold back red Con is Con he soon fitted in so will you.’
‘I hope so.’
‘You will.’
He placed his arm around her. ‘We’ll get you through it okay I’ll sort it okay.’
‘You don’t have to.’
‘I’d like to.’
‘What’s in it for you?’
‘Nothing we’re friends red you help me I help you that’s how fiends work.’
He kissed her brow. ‘I really like you autumn but I know when to stand back but there’s no harm in trying.’
‘Miss Cleveland mr Stenton lessons started ten minuets ago hadn’t you be in them.’
They looked up. ‘Sir.’
They pulled themselves up walking back into the building. ‘I’ll se you in lesson.’
‘Yeah thanks Stenton.’
‘My pleasure anytime.’
They walked there separate ways.
Autumn lit her cigarettes smoking as her friends approached her. ‘We heard you and Stenton got in shit.’
‘We were just talking.’
‘Hey babe.’ Connor said kissing her cheek raking her cigarette off her. ‘So what you all ta;king about.’ He asked raking another drag.’
‘Not much just Autumn and Stenton getting copped wagging.’
He choked.
‘It wasn’t like that Con.’
‘So how was it.’
‘I had a bad morning that’s all he insisted we talked that’s all.’
‘And you got detention.’
‘No I have to see Grayson before lunch to talk to him about why I was skipping class he wasn’t too pleased with either of us. He’s speaking to Stenton too.’
‘You could’ve spike to me.’
‘He was there.’
‘Oh okay.’
They doubted out their cigarettes as the bell went and they went into their last lesson before dinner.
Connor met Autumn for lunch. ‘Come on lets grab us a bite to eat. I’m starving.’
They walked trough the corridors to the dinner hall grabbing a jacket potato and beans with a juice.
‘Hey over here.’
Connor looked over Ashby calling him over to join them. ‘Come on Autumn.’
They walked over to the table where his friends were sitting placing their treys down, sitting next to one another.
Connor walked up to Stenton. ‘I heard you got Autumn in shit.’
‘She was upset Con. I just thought she’d like to talk about it that’s all.’
‘And did she?’
‘As much as she wanted me to know yes.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Did yo know she was seeing the school shrink.’
‘Yes I did.’
‘She’s hiding something Con, it’s not just about the girls here it’s more.’
‘And you can be sure how?’
‘I can’t, but she was crying when she came out of there she tried to hide it Con.’
‘I’ll deal with this.’
‘And the hoes.’
‘We all will.’
‘Sure.’
They went to their lessons. Before the bell for the end of the day went.
Connor and Autumn stood on the bridge. ‘You okay now babe.’
‘Yeah. Why are you asking Con?’
‘Just Stenton mentioned you were crying when you came out of your session with Harding. He didn’t push you into talking about stuff you didn’t wish to talk about did he?’
‘No Con just the past, it hurts so much.’
‘It does babe and I hope one day you can trust me enough to tell me what really happened at your old school.’
‘Maybe. It’s hard enough talking to Matt about it.’
‘It’ll get easier babe.’
‘I hope so.
He pulled her close. ‘We’ll sort everything else out okay.’
‘Okay.’
He pressed his lips on hers kissing her. He moved away dropping his arms from around her. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow okay.’
‘Okay.’
‘Later babe.’
‘Later Con.’
He walked away as she stood on the bridge lighting a cigarette. ‘Them things will kill you you know.’
She looked up. ‘Stenton.’
‘I’m sorry I didn’t mean to disturb you.’
‘Your not. I thought you’d be long gone by now.’
‘I had to see Grayson. He laid into me, but he understood I was only trying to help and told me to do it at more appropriate times not when we had lesson.’ He looked at her. ‘So are you okay now red?’
‘I guess.’
‘You know you can always tell me about it.’
‘I can’t Stenton.’
‘Have you told Con and the guys.’
‘No.’
‘So they all know that you’re seeing a shrink.’
‘I guess.’
‘Must be pretty bad.’
‘I guess.’
‘We’re here to help red me and Con will sort everything trust me.’
‘I know he said. You don’t have to.’
‘I know. I want to.’
‘Well thanks.’
‘It’s my pleasure red. Things will get easier.’
‘I hope so.’
‘They will.’
She smiled awkwardly.
‘Anyway I best be going I’ll see you at school tomorrow.’
‘Sure.’
He kissed her cheek. ‘Later red.’
‘Later.’
He walked away she finished her cigarette doubting it out walking away.
18th October
Autumn met Connor and Daniel at the bridge over the lake. ‘So is it just us today.’
‘It is the guys are all busy.’
‘Bet they’re all jealous to.’
‘Why?’
‘Cause we’re gonna see you in your cossie and they’re not.’
‘Oh.’
‘Its cool babe they’ll see you in it in the summer.’
‘Why the summer?’
‘Stenton usually has an outdoor party for his birthday.’
‘Oh.’
‘You’ll be fine we’ll all be there.’
‘Oh okay.’
‘Come on let’s go swimming, next summer is along way off.’
They all walked away Connor dropped his arm over her shoulders as they walked towards the town.
They walked into the swimming baths paying, going into the dressing rooms changing.
Connor and Daniel were already in the pool when Autumn joined them in a black bikini. They both looked up and smiled. Connor the first to speak. ‘Nice to see morticians back.’ He cracked.
‘I hope your shorts don’t show the crack of ass.’ She said sarcastically.
Daniel laughed. Connor pulled a sarcastic face as she slid into the pool.
‘So what are we doing first.’
‘We’ll do a few laps then head up onto the boards.’
‘Sounds good.’
‘Autumn you in?’
‘I guess.’ She said nervously.
‘Cool. We’ll see how many laps we can do.’
‘So what does the winner get Con?’
‘A date with me.’
‘Hope you enjoy your date guys.’
‘So we ready?’
‘We are.’
‘Babe.’
‘Yeah.’
‘On your marks, get set… go.’
They all pulled off the side lapping each other. She had to admit these guys were strong swimmers she weren’t even sure if she’d beat either of them.
Daniel slowed after six lap. ‘You carry on.’
Autumn continued lapping with Connor though he was in front of her she tried to keep up.
They both touched the side after their tenth lap. ‘Well done babe. I guess you and I have a date.’
‘I guess we do.’
‘So shall we do the boards?’
She swallowed.
‘I’m gonna sit this one out Con.’
‘You ate breakfast.’
‘I was hungry.’
‘You know we always eat after.’
‘I know my gut was turning.’
‘Ok. Come on babe. I guess it’s just you and me.’
‘I guess it is.’
They pulled themselves up out of the pool she looked at the boards and swallowed it had been such a long time since she’d been up there.
‘So which one babe.’
‘Middle.’
‘Middle it is.’
They both walked up. ‘Go on babe I’ll be right behind you.’
‘I..’
‘I’m right behind you.’
‘Okay.’
She stepped onto the board and swallowed. She sprung across the board spinning turning and diving into the water.
She pushed herself up out of the water. He came from under the water slipping his arms around her. ‘You look sexy in your cossie.’ She looked at Taylor his eyes sparkled in hers. He pressed his lips on hers kissing her hungrily.
Daniel leaned on the side watching unsure of what was going on. She opened her eyes Connor smiled. ‘I’m sorry for what I said babe. My mouth acts before my brain, what I meant to say is that you look hot.’
She looked at him.
‘Come on I bet Dan is getting board.’
‘Okay.’
He slipped his arms from around her and they swam over to Daniel.
‘You okay red?’
‘I’m fine.’
‘You looked a million miles away. You looked like you were with someone.’
‘I wasn’t.’
‘Where were you Con?’
‘I swam under water so I could surprise her she did look a little phased.’
‘I’m fine.’
‘Come on let’s get out of here.’
‘Okay.’
‘Come on babe we’ll get something to eat and you can come back to mine.You joining us Dan.’
‘No I’ll leave you two to it. I have stuff to do this aft.’
‘Sure.’
They pulled themselves up out of the pool and went onto the changing rooms to change.
‘You sure she’s okay Con she looked really out of it.’
‘Yeah.’
‘I told you this was a bad idea.’
‘Maybe I’ll talk to her.’
‘You think she’ll say.’
‘I don’t know.’
Autumn walked out of the changing rooms where Connor and. Daniel were waiting. ‘So are we ready to go?’
‘Yeah.’
He dropped his arm around her and they walked out of the swimming baths going into town to the café before they said goodbye to Dan and walked to Connors’.
He closed the door behind them. ‘Sit down babe I’ll do us a drink.’
‘Where are you olds Con?’
‘Working they won’t be back till late.’
‘Oh okay.’
She sat down as he went into kitchen getting them a glass of coke. He placed them down sitting next to her. He looked at her. ‘So are you going to tell me what was wrong in the pool.’
‘I don’t know Con.’
‘I’m your friend babe you can tell me anything. You can trust me.’
‘It’s something I tired to forget Con.’
‘Oh.’
‘I don’t know if I can talk about it.’
He placed his hands on hers his eyes sparkled in hers. ‘I’m here for you babe I always will be no matter what.’
‘Promise.’
‘Cross my heart.’
‘Okay.’ She breathed in and out. ‘They say take your fears head on right.’
‘I guess. What’s all this about babe?’
‘It was their fault Con, it was their fault I couldn’t get back up on the boards.’
‘Whose babe?’
‘Taylor and his friends.’
‘Why what did they do?’
‘We’d all met them at the pool my friends were surprised that I’d even turned up. I wasn’t going he’d twisted my arm into joining them. I hated going swimming with them they acted so childish and they were that day. Dive bombing into the pool the life guard taking a crack at them to act more sensibly he chose to ignore him. He twisted my arm to go up there Con he knew I was good I was in training and he had to ruin that for his stupidity.’
‘What happened babe you looked a little out off it even Dan noticed.’
‘We all went on to the boards me him and Rudgey. They made sure I went first, I wasn’t to sure but he said it’d be fine and they’d dive in after me. I pulled myself to the top unsure if it was wise to be up there at all. I walked to the edge, dumb I know but they were on the steps so I thought. I never knew they’d got on the board Con all I remember is falling and their faces. I didn’t even know he’d gone in after me. I was lucky Con if I hadn’t’ve took to the water like I did I would’ve been dead.’ She said tears falling off her face. ‘I woke in hospital, he was by my bedside. He said the life guard had pulled me out and tried to resuscitate me I came round and slid back into unconsciousness and that they’d all been banned from the pool.’
‘You should’ve told the cops babe.’
‘He begged me not to Con. He’d already been in trouble with them he didn’t need an asbo.’
‘You still should’ve.’
‘I couldn’t he made damn sure he was there when they came to talk to me. I lied to them Con I said I’d lost my footing though we both knew it wasn’t true. His brother was so angry at him Con. I’d never seen him like that before, he said he was dumb and reckless and he could’ve killed me for their stupidity and I should’ve told the cops what really happened.’
‘You should.’
‘You didn’t know him Con the last guy to grass on him ended up in intensive care I wasn’t about to.’
‘You deserved better friends babe.’
‘I know, but try telling someone it’s over who won’t listen.’
‘I know babe.’
He wiped her tears away placing his arm around her. ‘I’m not him babe we’re not that dumb.’
He kissed her brow and she lay on his chest closing her eyes.
19th October
Autumn slowly opened her eyes Connor smiled. ‘Shit I fell asleep.’
‘It’s cool babe I told your mom you fell asleep. We got talking and the next thing I knew you were snoring.’
‘I don’t snore.’
‘You do babe.’ He laughed. ‘Anyway she said it was okay for you to stay till today as long as you were back for lunch I said you would be.’
‘Okay. Thanks Con for everything.’
‘We’re friends babe. I’m always here anytime you want to talk.’
She kissed his cheek.
‘Stop your making me blush.’ He laughed
She shoved him playfully. He shouted her back. ‘Maybe we can have that date tomorrow if you’re not doing anything.’
‘No no I’m not.’
‘Sweet I’ll meet you by the bridge at one.’
‘Don’t tell anyone what I told you Con.’
‘I won’t my lips are sealed.’
She smiled. He placed his arm round her. ‘We can chill and watch a movie or something before you have to head off.’
‘Sure.’
Connor placed his arm over her after closing the door walking away from his house heading toward the river. ‘Are you sure about tomorrow babe we can cancel if you don’t want to.’
‘No it’s fine Con I’d like to.’
He smiled. ‘Well here we are. I’ll meet you here at one okay.’
‘Okay.’
He kissed her softly taking his arm from around her. ‘Tomorrow here at one don’t forget.’
‘I won’t.’
‘Later babe.’
‘Yeah later Con.’
He smiled walking away. She turned walking away was she doing the right thing by agreeing to a date with him so soon after Taylor ?
20th October
Autumn stood by the bridge smoking waiting for Connor. She liked it out here it was
so quiet and it gave her time to think, time to be alone.
He kissed her cheek. ‘You’re early.’
She looked up looking at Connor through her black eyeliner eyes. ‘I needed time to get out for a while.’
‘Little clostro.’
‘Yeah.’
‘It gets like that sometimes.’ He looked at her. ‘We can do this another time if you like.’
‘No it’s fine. It’s just mom.’
‘Trying to talk.’
‘Yeah.’
‘It gets easier Autumn.’
‘I hope so.’
‘Come on.’
‘Where are we going?’
‘It’s a surprise.’
‘And the basket?’
‘Lunch.’
‘Oh.’
‘Not like?’
‘Yeah.. I just thought you were a little more adventurous.’
‘I thought you might like to chill. I know a nice quiet place.’
‘Oh okay.’
‘You’ll like it I promise.’ He said taking her hand in his.
They walked across the rivers edge.
‘Where is this place Con?’
‘We’ll be there soon.’ He said turning into the trees placing the basket down then the blanket. He pulled her down, she sat nervously it was so out the way from everything and everyone.
‘So do you like it?’
‘It’s nice.’
‘The river’s over there.’ He said pointing straight in front of them.
‘How did you find this place Con?’
‘Luck. I was walking and thinking and I stumbled across it. It’s so peaceful out here, you can do anything, fall asleep if you like no one comes here.’
‘So why are you sharing it with me?’
‘So you have somewhere to go to.’
‘Oh.’
‘Guess your hungry.’
‘A little.’
‘I’ve brought loads. Just eat what you can.’
He opened the basket passing her a bottle of coke, sandwiches and crisps before getting his out.
‘Your friends know your this soft?’
‘No and I’d rather they didn’t.’
‘Your secret’s safe with me.’
He smiled before taking a bite out of his cheese and pickle sandwich.
They ate in silence swigging their coke.
Autumn lay back the sun slipping in and out of the trees. ‘I’m about to pop.’
‘Me to.’
Connor leaned forward. ‘Look Autumn I’m sorry about the pool if I’d’ve known.’
‘It’s okay Con. I should’ve told you.’
‘Good job the guys weren’t there they’d’ve been drewling.’
‘Where were they?’
‘Busy.’
‘I’m sorry I just drift sometimes, you must think I’m mad.’
‘No not at all. We all do sometimes babe, we wouldn’t be human if we didn’t.’
‘Maybe.’
He glided his hand down her face, his eyes sparkled. ‘So, how are you liking our date so far?’
‘Nice, different than the cinema.’
‘I hoped you’d like it.’ He got closer. ‘This is our special place Autumn. Together or alone.’
She looked nervously at him.
He pressed his lips on hers kissing her hungrily, he pulled away Taylor stared back at her. ‘I love you Autumn we’ll make a night of it on your birthday, just you and me.’
She smiled.
He pressed his lips back on hers kissing her. Was this place such a good idea to be alone?
Connor pulled away lying besides her, wrapping his arms around her. ‘I know you want nothing more than just friends but when you’re ready I’m here.’
She smiled she felt so close to him if only she could let him in, let him get closer to her. But, all she saw was Taylor until she’d gotten completely over him she couldn’t.
She slowly closed her eyes, he lay by her smiling.
‘Babe wake up. Babe.’
‘Mmh.’
‘Wake up your mom called she said your supper was done. I’m sorry I took the call I couldn’t wake you.’
‘It’s fine Con.’ She said groggily pulling herself up.
‘I’ll walk you back home okay.’
‘Okay.’
He stuffed everything into the basket taking her hand.
‘Oh were meeting the guys tomorrow we’re going to the flicks okay. Then Tuesday we’ll look for some outfits for Halloween.’
‘Okay.’
They pulled themselves up he took her hand and they walked through the woodland to the lake.