Chapter 57 - Courage

When our lips parted, I immediately covered my mouth as my eyes widened in surprise. 

~"What's the deal with that Hyacinth?" She seems very attached to you. I don't know, but I feel like she looks at you differently. She's acting like you're more than a friend to her."~

Gab was right. Hyacinth really fell in love with me. 

Now I understand why she has been acting strangely the last few days. It was because of this. 

I still couldn't believe that she would fall for me as Terry because, as she said, she could see me as her best friend. 

I suddenly lost my capability to move while my eyes were still round in shock and I could see her cheeks turning crimson after kissing me. 

I came back to my senses when I smelled something burning behind me. I suddenly remembered that I was frying something, so I quickly looked back at the stove and there was already a burning smoke on the frying pan. I quickly turned the stove off. It's a good thing the meat I was cooking was not completely burnt. 

But that shouldn't be the thing I need to think about at this very moment. 

I turned to look at Hyacinth again and met her gaze. 

I could see her eyes moistened with tears, getting hurt with my reaction to her confession. 

She sniffled. "S-sorry... I know it's something you couldn't expect considering we're best friends and both girls. That's why I tried so hard to hold back my feelings for you. I did everything to avoid you and even stopped talking to you because I didn't want our friendship to be its price. Believe me, Terry, I'm not really attracted to the same gender. It's just that I'm only having feelings towards you... because you're Terry. " She looked down at the ground, avoiding my gaze while fidgeting.

Apparently, she mustered all her courage just to tell me how she really felt towards me, something she tried too hard to hide for a long time. 

"I know it's hard to grasp. I know it is because myself, I had a hard time accepting it, but I hope you won't hate me because of this. I also hope that you will not feel awkward with me." she suddenly hugged me. "Please..." Her hug tightened as she pleaded. 

I could hear her soft sobs and her sincerity touched my heart. That made everything sink in my mind. 

It was really brave of her to tell me the truth.

I was going to touch her hair, but she quickly let go of me in her hug and walked away. 

'No! Don't go away!'  

My arm moved deliberately to stop her and I grabbed her hand. 

She turned to look at me with a surprised expression. 

She fell in love with me. Something I couldn't be able to fathom. 

But I fell for her too. 

'Is this already the opportunity to tell her the truth? That I'm actually a guy and she doesn't have to stop herself from loving me because I have the same feelings towards her?' A voice whispered inside my head.

'But she will surely feel betrayed after knowing that you deceived her. She'll hate you.' Another voice whispered in my mind, which I would call the coward one.

'But there is no better opportunity than this if you want her to know the real you! Even if she gets mad at you, that is already given. The important thing here is that you told her everything.' The first voice argued with the coward one.

'Are you ready for the consequences, though? I'm sure you're not,' the coward one argued. 

The brave voice'rebuttal: 'If you do love her, you are ready to accept whatever reaction she will have because you are in the wrong here.'

I shut my eyes tightly, getting distressed with the arguing voices inside my head. 

But after some time, I had already come up with a decision. 

I opened my eyes and I exhaled slowly.

I knew that it was now or never. 

I put my hand on my head and Hyacinth was just looking at me. 

I chose to come clean and, no matter what her reaction would be, I would sincerely apologize and do everything I could to make her forgive me. 

She was brave in confessing her feelings towards me, so I would have the same courage to tell her the truth about my identity. 

I was about to remove my wig when we heard footsteps in the living room. Gab peeked into the kitchen, and I couldn't continue what I was about to do when our attention shifted to her. 

I saw that her eyes were puffy and red. She was sniffling like something bad happened to her.  

 I was alarmed, which made me immediately let go of Hyacinth's hand. I noticed that Hyacinth looked at my hand, which I removed from hers. 

"L-les... ter..." Gab's voice broke with the 'Les' part of my name, so we only heard 'Ter' instead of my complete first name.

I was about to react after she called my real name when she walked over to me and hugged me while bawling. 

I could tell something serious happened, worse than her fight with her mother on the day she went here while crying. I stroked her back to calm her down, and I could see in the corner of my eyes that Hyacinth was just looking at us. 

"Y-you need to go to her..." Gab said while sobbing. "She's been waiting for you for a long time." she tightened her grip on my shirt while her crying face was buried in my chest. 

Night... 

I was staring at the grave near my feet while I was holding a bouquet of lavender flowers. Gab and Hyacinth were just standing behind me.

The pole lights near this place provided light, which helped me be able to read what was engraved on the tombstone. It was "Celine Yoso". The name of my mother who abandoned me.

I couldn't think straight anymore.