In Another Life

"What do you mean ? Please calm down first." Sabi ko sa papa ko na kausap ko ngayon sa cellphone. Hindi ko kasi maintindihan ang sinabi niya. "Yung mama mo, isinugod namin sa hospital kagabi. Kailangan daw operahan sabi nang doctor. Ayaw naman kitang istorbohin kagabi dahil paniguradong tulog pa kayo." Tumulo naman yung luha ko. Matagal na din na iniinda ni mama yung sakit simula nang pumunta ako dito sa Korea. She thought if she will have a surgery and it didn't went successfully she can't see me anymore.

"Ganito po papa. Magpaschedule kayo nang operation ngayong buwan at kausapin niyo yung doctor kung kailan." Explain ko sa kanya. Mayroon kasing kidney si mama kaya dapat palagi siyang maingat sa iniinom niya.

"Pero anak hinahanap ka nang mama mo sa akin. Gusto ka daw niyang makita kaya ayaw niyang mag opera hanggat hindi ka niya nakikita." Malungkot na tugon ni Papa. Napaluha naman ako doon sa narinig ko.

"Alam niyo naman na hindi pa ako makakauwi ngayon diyan sa Pilipinas diba?" Nangingiyak kong tugon kay papa. "Pero pag iisipan ko pa po." Sabi ko bago ibinaba yung tawag. Lumapit naman sakin si Felix at dinaluhan ako na umiiyak. Hinihimas niya yung buhok ko para tumahan na ako.

"Shhh, it's okay. We can overcome this." Mahina niyang sabi. "Umuwi nalang muna kayo at saka na ako susunod sa inyo pagkatapos nang mga business ko dito." Nagulat ako sa sinabi niya. He gave me the comforting look then I hug him.

Bumukas naman nang dahan dahan yung pinto. At pumasok si Alex and Zarex sa loob nang kwarto namin.

"Mama, why are you crying?" Malungkot na sabi ni Alex saka niya niyakap niya ako. "I'm okay baby. " Hinalikan ko yung noo niya. Si Zarex naman ay pumunta kay Felix at pinagitnaan namin dalawa yung kambal.

"Did you two fight ?" Zarex ask Felix curiosly. Umiling naman sa kanya si Felix. "No, big boy. Your mama is just sad."

"Why are you sad mama? Are you hurt?" Tanong niya ulit sakin.

"Do you want to visit the Philippines?" Agad kong sabi. Nagkatinginan naman yung kambal at ngumiti nang napakalapad. Napatayo naman bigla si Zarex dahil sa sobra saya. "Do you mean it Mama? Are we really going to Philippines? I'm going to see baby Kate already." Anak iyon ni Kuya Zac at Lorraine.

"What about you papa?" Tanong ni Alex kay Felix. Sila talaga dalawa ang close sa isa't isa parang minsan nga mas gusto niyang kasama si Felix kesa sakin. Pero I understand naman. "I'll follow you there after I finish some things here." Ginulo naman ni Felix yung buhok ni Alex.

Malaki ang utang na loob ko kay Felix dahil sa lahat lahat nang mabubuting ginawa niya sakin at nang pamilya nila.

Pagkatapos nang usapan naming lahat na iyon. I book a plane ticket already to Philippines at sa susunod na araw na yong alis namin. Iiwan ko nalang ang lahat nang trabaho ko dito sa Korea. Nag ayos na din ako nang iilang damit nang mga bata at sakin. I'll just pack everything tomorrow when I settled whole things. Pagkatapos non ay nagpaalam na agad ako sa lolo at lola ni Felix kanina para mas okay na iyon. I'm sure the kids will miss the both of them.

"Naayos mo na ba ang passport nang mga bata?" I nodded at him. He sat beside me and hold my hand. "Huwag mo akong isipin dito. When I choose to live with you I already choose to be hurt. " Ngumiti siya sakin. " I just want to take all of your sadness and your pain. I already said that to you in the first place. I believe in you because you are such a great woman and a mother. Prove to me that I made the right choice. " Tumingin siya sa mga bata na naglalaro sa sofa. "Sa loob nang limang taon ay masaya na ako that I have you and the kids. I just thought that my brother has the right to know that its his children. Malaki din ang naging pagkukulang ko sa kanya bilang isang kapatid. I want to learn from that." He wipe his tears. I feel guilty to him. If I can just choose to love him but . .

"Paano kapag hinanap ka nang mga bata?" Malungkot kong tanomg sa kanya.

"They will understand it. I know that your kids are brave and smart that's why I want to them to be happy." I hug him. "Thank you, Felix." I whispered. "You'd better tell him." He added

"If the day comes, where you need me and the kids too. Please do not be shy to call. Nandito kami kung kailangan mo. We will visit you here." He just gave me a smile.

"I know and lastly, no matter what others say, don’t listen. Just let’em talk, whatever they say don't believe them. Know this, sometimes lies will try to tear you apart. Hardships will try to deceive you but focus on the kids and just live a happy life there." I didn’t understand what Felix was trying to say. But I know there is a reason why he is telling me this now. He knows everything has a reason.

"You have helped me so much, Felix. I do not know how I can make up for everything you gave me." I said. Ginulo naman niya yung buhok ko.

"Remember, you didn't please for it. I gave it with my whole heart." Tumayo siya at pumunta sa cabinet malapit sa TV saka may kinuha na mukhang papel sa loob. "Here, I saw this in your folders when you give birth to the twins. You must need this." Inabot niya sakin yung cheque na binigay sakin ni Jared before I left Philippines.

"Honestly, I didn't mean to ask this thing from him. My intention there is to say a proper goodbye to him even he ignores me. Ginawa ko lang itong excuse para makita ulit siya." I stated. "I know you have your reason Alexandra." Pagkatapos noon ay nagpaalam na sakin si Felix na pupunta daw siya ngayon sa agency nila which is yung JYP. Nagpapasalamat din ako kahit busy siyang tao ay nagagawa parin niyang alagaan kami.

Naging manager kasi siya pagkatapos nong disbandment nila saka nakilala ko din yung buo nilang grupo before that. Zarex really wants to be with Hyunjin and Seungmin while Alex was fond with her Kuya I.N. Dahil din sa kanila ay nakita ko nang malapitan yung BTS and it was really amazing.

I have arranged the children's belongings. It looks like we have a lot of suitcases to take home. Yung mga laruan naman nila ay iiwan lang dito at ipapackage lang daw ni Felix. Pagkatapos noon ay yung mga damit ko naman at mga bags yung inayos ko. Mabuti nalang at hindi masyadong malikot yung mga anak ko kasi busy silang naglalaro sa tablets nila.

Tiningnan ko ang papel na binigay ni Felix kanina. Matagal na panahon na din ito pero never kong ginalaw kahit piso.

Lumapit sakin si Alex."Mama, did you put this?" Hinawakan niya yung kwentas.

"Yes baby. Your father gave that to me." Hinimas ko yung mahabang buhok nang anak ko. "Father?" She ask curiously.

"Your real dad Alex. Felix is not you real dad." Mukhang naguluhan naman siya sa sinabi ko. Lumapit din si Zarex nang makita niyang nag uusap kami nang ate niya. "Your real dad is in the Philippines. It's the brother of your Papa Felix. But the both of you are too young for this but I will explain it to you later on. Okay?" Sumimangot naman yung anak kong babae. Hindi niya ata gusto yung sinabi ko.

Tumakbo na pabalik sa sala si Zarex pero si Alex ay nanatili pading nakatingin sa kwentas na nasa leeg niya ngayon. "Mama." She called.

Tinuon ko yung atensyon ko sa kanya. "Why is he not the one, who's here if he is our real father. Did he abandoned us?" Nagulat naman ako sa naging tanong nang anak ko.

I approached her. "You are too young for this." Malumanay kung sabi sa kanya.

Mukhang naintindihan naman niya yung ibig sabihin ko. Even though I knew she had many more questions, she just chose to keep quiet.

"Say goodbye to your halmeoniwa hal-abeoji." I said to my two children.

Mabilis na yumakap si Zarex sa lolo niya. Nagpunas naman nang luha si Alex nang yumakap siya sa lola at lolo niya. "Nadobogo sip-eulgeoya." "I will miss you so much." Natawa naman si Lola Margarita sa sinabi ni Alex.

"nae eolin sonyeoleul ulji masibsio. halmeoniwa hal-abeojido dangsin-eul geuliwo hal geos-ibnida. eomeoniwa dangsindo Zarexege joh-eun yeojaga doesibsio.

"Nae eolin sonyeoleul ulji masibsio. halmeoniwa hal-abeojido dangsin-eul geuliwo hal geos-ibnida. Eomeoniwa dangsindo Zarexege joh-eun yeojaga doesibsio." "Dont cry my little girl. Grandma and grandpa will miss you too. Be a good girl to your mother and you too Zarex. " Bilin nang lola nila sa kanila.

Hinalikan silang dalawa nang lolo nila bago umalis. Nakakalungkot lang din isipin dahil napamahal na din kami sa kanila lalo na yung mga bata. Sobra silang mabait at wala akong narinig sa kanila simula nang pagtungtong ko sa mansyon nila. Tinulungan ko si Felix na ilagay sa kotse yung mga gamit namin.

"Pumasok ka na. Ako na ang bahala dito. " Sabi ni Felix.

Inalalayan ko na rin yung mga anak ko at ang mga gamit nila na ipasok sa loob. Mukhang excited sila pero parang nalulungkot din dahil aalis sila dito. Tahimik lang kami hanggang nakarating kami sa airport. Sinamahan ako ni Felix mag check in sa loob at pagkatapos noon ay nagpaalam na din siya sa mga bata,

"Be kind to your mother especially you Zarex. Don't forget to brush your teeth before sleeping. Okay?" Nagthumbs up naman si Zarex sa binilin nang papa niya. "Help your mother with your twin Alex. "Tumango naman si Alex. Mukhang malungkot siya dahil hindi makakasama si Felix sa amin.

"Appa-ege jeonhwahaneun geos-eul ij-ji maseyo." "Don't forget to call papa." Felix nodded at Alex. Tumingin naman siya sakin.

"Call me if you have a problem Alexandra. I'll fly right away." Then he winked at me. "Why are you crying?" Agad naman siyang nag alala. I wiped my tears.

Then I hug him. "Thank you so much Felix. I wish that you'll find the perfect girl for you." He chuckled.

"There's no one perfect than you, Iza." He sigh. " The days when you hate that you’re you and the days when you wanna disappear. I will make a door in your heart and if you open that door and go inside. I am there waiting for you. I love you Alexandra." He kiss my forehead.

"In another life, I want to be your girl Felix." I whispered to his ears.

He hug me tight and the kids.

"Don't look back Iza, or else I might hold you back."